Life — November 20, 1902 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

POLITICAL MACHINE Mfr. Morgan; 18N‘t THE MOTIVE POWER A LITTLE TOO—TOo— Mr, Platt; Yes, 1 THINK IT 18. Some New Health Foods. UTTS: Greatest ever. Two teaspoonfuls of Butts with an ounce of water will increase your waist measurement two feet in thirty minutes. Leavines: Nothing like ’em. Good for His- torical Novelists, Prize-fighters, Parsons, Politicians and Idiots. BRIsTLES: Only the fine bris- tles from: selected whisk-brooms are used. Delicious with con- densed milk. A perfect food. Stimulates the lining of the stomach. GuLpa-Down-A: The new concen- ‘trated essence. Can be eaten any- where. Balloonists have used it to sus- tain them while falling from immense heights. Cooked or uncooked, it makes no difference. Send for sample barrel. Grittincs: This celebrated old- timer was discovered by a poultryman, who observed the fine effect of gravel on his hens. Made from pure New Hampshire granite. It makes you strong! It has been predigested by ostriches specially reared for the work, and is guaranteed to lay a sound foundation to heaith. Put up in slabs, tenforadime. It cleans the teeth at the same time, thus doing away with the antiquated tooth-brush. Mat-Mats: Always the standard ! Specially prepared from Al Chicago door mats ground up by a new process. It cleans out the system! It adds red, white and blue corpuscles to the blood while you wait! Put up in pound packages for thirteen cents, or ten for fifteen cents. Eaten with a funnel. Buy our special funnels, shaped to fit the msophagus. Putp: You have never lived before if you haven't tried Pulp. The new food. Just out—and in. It is made entirely from linen paper, and not only nourishes the body, but takes the place of underwear. As a brain food it has no equal, Sold by the quire or ream, and eaten with linseed oil. Seaweepitis: For invalids and convalescents. This delicate prepara- tion is made from the best South At- lantic grass, and can be assimilated by the most delicate stomach. It is best taken with salt water, and makes the bones fairly ache with strength. It teaches you to swim under water. Buy it and float ! T. M. OP. when a society woman's “cheeks burn,” you can detect the odor of burning paint. “ RE you afraid of fire?’ “Oh, no. I go regularly to the New York theatres.”’ A Dead Winner. ACCINATION, take your place Ready for the (human) race, Christian Science may despatch Some the auto doesn’t catch Or the surgeon's knife deface. Others by the trolley base May be hurried into space— But you're still without a match, Vaccination, Poison wins, in any case, 8o you need not fear disgrace. Though you always start from “ scratch,” None from you the palm may snatch— You can set them all a pace, Vaccination ! Frank Roe Batchelder, TAKING AN EXCEPTION, comicbooks.com