Life — November 6, 1902 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ Do YOU THINK CLIMATE HAS ANY EPPECT ON CHARACTER?" “1 KNow IT. Her Ambition. . ‘HE house of Morgan McMerger was plainly but substantially furnished. A few simple million-dollar rugs were on the floor, the tiles in the fireplace were of ordinary gold, and the dia- mond door knobs were not even set in platinum, showing that the owner was close with his money, Geraldine McMerger, as she stood on the sable door mat, felt keenly the lack of real expense. Geraldine had once visited Newport, and knew what was demanded. “Father,” she said impulsively, as McMerger entered, smoking a five- hundred-dollar cigar, ‘father, you are old-fashioned and simple in all your tastes, and of course you didn’t make your money until you joined the church, but really, father, we ought to do something more for the honor of our coupons. Can’t you brace up, father, and be a real live member of the Smart Set?” MoMerger stirred uneasily as he leaned up against the opal mantel- piece, The old man, though plebeian, was sensitive, and he felt keenly the ignominy of his position. “ Well,’’ he said querulously,‘‘didn’t LOOK AT GILLSON. we have a real swell dinner night be- fore last, with private cars for favors?”’ “Yes, father,’’ said Geraldine, ‘* but ‘wo must branch out. We must get a move on. We must show the world that we are It.” With this she touched a pigeon- blood ruby, set in the point lace wall paper, and a strike leader who had been engaged as a footman appeared, bearing a tray full of blue paper. ‘What's this?’’ demanded Mc- Merger, turning pale. ‘This looks expensive.” His daughter smiled. “Never mind, papa,” she said, “this is the final touch. This will put us right on top. We'll be the Real Thing now. Here, papa dear, are the plans for our new Fifth Avenue house, to be built entirely of anthracite coal!” Well Supplied. IGHEAD: Presidential timber is pretty scarce in the Demo- cratic party. Rounver: I don’t see why. They have plenty of sticks among the lead- ers. Meuscar genius is an infinite capacity for giving pain. HE 18 PROM NEW YORK, AND SEE HOW ILL-BALANCED HE 18." Woman's Friendship. WOMAN came to the Mart of the Affections. “TI wish,’ she said, ‘*to buy a Woman’s Friendship.” “ Yes, madame,” replied the Vendor, “there is one—calm, indifferent, thoughtless, selfish and volatile.” “ That will not do,’’ said the Woman; “T want a loving one.”’ “Then here is another,” said the Vendor; ‘it is clinging, gushing, demonstrative, exacting, jealous and very wearing.”’ “I do not wish that kind, either,” said the Woman; ‘show me some other styles.” “ Madamo,’’ said the Vendor, “there are no other styles.”’ Carolyn Wells, A MEDICAL diploma covereth a multitude of blunders. Too Long. as wrt part do you wish to take in the amateur play?” “I think I would like to be the one to make love to your wife.” “ But you forget, sir, that the action of the play extends over six months."’ comicbooks.com