Life — November 6, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DEFIANCE OF THE MORO. Tam the Sultan of Bacolod, Reod And I knock under to no man’s nod, ‘The best that ever the green carth trod, Lord of the soil of son of the sod, Upper crust or under-clod, Man with a gun or man with a hod, ‘The chap to plan or the churl to plod, Panhandling tramp or wight with a wad, The biggest pebble, the smallest pod, From Nicaragua to Novgorod. So think it neither quaint nor odd ‘That I despise the Yankee rod, The blatant blaff, the threate of quod, ‘The rifte bullet or bayonet prod Handed out in the name of God, By the swaggering rons of the Land of Cod; For I'm the Sultan of Bacolod, Moro, moreover. Gadzook«! Ecod! —V. 1. ©. Clarke, in New York Evening Post. “Tv yoa will only marry me, I promise you I'l make you a good husband,” * Never fear! If] decide to marry you I'll make you that."—Pailadelphia Press ALawren generally suits his fee to his advice, but in a case cited by the Philadelphia Times ove was forced to re- verse the order. His success in 80 doing wax good evidence of his fitness for his callin When this particular lawyer was first etruggling along in his profession he received a call from a well-to-do farmer, who was in need of legal advice concerning his righte,which be thought had been ignored by the section hands on a Pennsylvania raiiroad. The lawyer looked up the statutes, ‘and told the farmer what he should do. “How mach?" queried the farmer. “+ Well, let's call it three dollars,” replied the lawyer, ‘The farmer handed over a five-dollar bill. The lawyer seemed embarraceed, But after searching through his pockets and the drawers of his desk, he rose to the occasion and pocketed the bill as he reached for a digret “1 guess, neighbor,” he remarked, as he resumed his seat, “1 shall have to give you two dollars’ worth more advice.""—Exchange. Aw amateur sporteman had mistaken a calf for a deer, and the calf was breathing its last. * T-Tell mother.” gasped the dying mart tho sympathetic sheep, who stood near by, ttbat I died game.""—— Chicago Daily News. addressing tteil mother “We, there's one thing about Mre. Frankly," said the man who always tries to flatter; “ehe doesn't mind calling a epade a spade.” * No," replied the man who had tried to teach her whist, “bat she's Just as likely to call it a diamond, beart, or clab."—Philadelphia Recerd. Tuny breed a fine class of optimirta out in Chicazo. Laureuce Hamill, of that parieh, came from Berlin to Pans in an automobile, “Three days, he said, rained day and night.” We condoled with him, eaying, wretched weather Ob, well," eaid the Chicagoan, ‘it was better than none.""—Philadelphia Past, “and rain all the thme—it “Dear me! what Tue Buffalo Commercial retates that an American woman, belonging to the xoureau riche, recently met an ae- quaintance on the deck of an outgoing steamer, and an- nounced, with great écfat, that ehe was going abroad to have the dear girls’ (her two daughters) portraits painted. “Why not in America? ™ queried the acquaintance, “Oh, I've tried all the American artiste tn vain, we're going over to see what the old masters can do." —Exchange. Now A woman who was attracted by the bright face of a litile colored boy who served as * Butions "in a Southern board- ing-bouse stopped one day in the hall to bave a few words with bim, * How old are you, Pomp?” she arked, “T's Jes" precedin’ my teens, missy,” he answered, promptly. * And have you brothers and sisters?" continued his questioner, * Habo’t gota bradder nor a sisier nor a fanler nora “said the little darky, eolemnly, ‘I'm all dere ie ‘ob us, missy.""— Youth's Companion. “You sell ladies’ hats here?” began the sour-looking Certainly,” replied the milliner, repressing a smile, You want to buy one for your wif . I don't, but it looks as if I'd have to."* ~Philadelphia Press, A Recent English paper eaye: “ The Tatior and Cutter has been at the Royal Academy criticising the clothes. We note the absence of a seam from the forearm of the right sleeve," saya the critic, referring to the portrait of the King, “bat otherwise the painting does the artist credit."” — Exchange, Poon woman! After her bard day's work she has to stay up half the night with her babies, ~ What's the matter with her husband? Why doesn't be help her?" “Ob, he pats in all hie time agitating for an eight-bour day for the working man.""—PAlladelphia Press, AN EDITOR'S APPEAL, Bring us taters, sweet or Irish; bring us chickens, young or old; bring us eggs, or pork, or sorghum; bring us eilver, bring us gold; bring us copper, bring us greenback us fodder, corn, or hay; bring us fruit of all deecript bring us corn meal anyday. Bring ue beans, or oats or pampkine ; bring us batter, Jard, or flour; of anything that's good to tay our hunger e’en an hour. For the larder's get ting empty, aod the cath is ranning low; and our paper must soon be met, for the paper's got to go. Our store bill must be eettled, and the kids must go to school ; and car trousers eeem more threadbare, as the weather ‘gins to «col So bring us anything you have to eat, or trade or wear ;«t pay a bill of go on trade, or help to put us equare. We reid your kind assistance, to belp to pall us through, until the railroad “gina to build, for till then we feel quite blue, The times are dall, and we are ehort, and need a litthe raise ; 10 come to our assistance and you'll receive the praise. So pay for advertiring, eubecriptions, and the like; and keep the enterprise from want, and going on a strike, We'll raise oor voice and how! for you, and sing your praires long, if you'll only rastle in the grub and bring it good and etrong. — Dodd Cy (Ark.) Appeat, For eale by all Newedealers in Great Britain. The International News Com- pany, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AcENTs. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Co.. Balamore, Mé Women's Mixtures, CHESTER CR North Fourth Avenue, Mount Vernon, New York. Aquiet resort with every comfort, for men nerroutly disordered through dissipa- tion. Communications strictly confidential. phone—445 A. Mount Vernon. Address G. EsT, S. Avery, Manager. Tele NEW YORK. New Designs, Men’s Wear. Suitings, Trouserings, Overcoatings, Paddock Cloths, Whipcords and Coverts, ‘@ THE NAAE IS EVERYTHING? Esterbrook Importations Autumn, 1902, Wear. Faced Cloths, Zibelines, Panne Cloths. Fancy Tweeds, Cheviots, and Zibeline avorite. varieties of suit All A general Over 1s50 every pur stationers Accept no substitute. Works, Camden, MJ. 26 John Strest, N. Ys VIOLETTES “camicbaoks: com