Life — October 23, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BREAKFAST FOOD FAMILY. John Spratt will eat no fat, Nor will he touch the lean. He ecorns to eat of any meat; He lives upon Foodine. Bat Mra. Spratt will none of that ; Foodine sbe cannot eat, Her epecial wish is for a dish Of Expargated Wheat. To William Spratt that food is flat On which his mater dotes. His favorite feed—his special need— Is Eata Heapa Oats. Bat Sister Lil can't ece how Will ‘Can touch such tasteless food. As breakfast fare It can’t compare, She saya, with Shredded Wood, Now, none of these Leander please ; He feeds upon Bath Mitta, While Sister Jane improves her brain With Cero-Grapo-Grits, Lycargus votes for Father's Oats; Proggine appeals to May ; The junior John subsists upon Uneeda Bayla Hay, Corrected Wheat for little Pete ; Flaked Pine for Dot ; while** Bab," ‘The infant Spratt, is waxing fat On Battle Creek Near-Grub, —COntcago Tribune. Booxen T. Wasurxaton recently told a gathering of negroes that one of the great faults of his race was a dispo- sition to exhibit knowledge ander any and all circumstances, and asserted that, until tho negro learned not to display his vanity, he was useless in any confidential capacity. By way of ilastration, he told a story which, he said, might be or might not be apocryphal, but which was good enough to be true, General Sherman had been told that the soldiers of a negro regiment {n his command were very lax when on ten- try daty, and showed a fondness for passing doubtfal per- sons through the lines just to indulge their power to do 80, To ascertain if this were ro, he muffled himself one night in a cloak, and tried to get past a black entry, After the “Who goes there?’ the “A friend,” and the * Advance, friend, and give the countersign,” had been exchanged, Sherman replied : Roxbury !"* , tah 1" was the polite but firm response, “Charleston !"* Sherman next tried. “No, sah! No,sah!" said the negro, determinedly. ‘Then he added: * Now, cea heah—yo' can go fru th* whole blamed joggrafy; but Massa Sherman he done say that nobody can get pas’ me wifout eayin’ * Cambridge 1""* —Philadephia Ledger. Some years ago, when the present Queen of England was Princess of Wales and her children were very small, they were staying at a quiet watering place. ‘The Montreal Star repeats this little story of the royal family, which shows that Queen Alexandra is mach Ike other good mothere, and that her children are like children the world over: Once on returning from a short eail, one of the little princesses was walking up the plank, An old sailor in- etinctively eaid : * Take care, little lady ‘The child drew herself up haughtily and eaid: “+ I'm not a lady ; I'm a princess 1 ‘The Princess of Wales, who overheard the kindly In- Janction and the rather ill-bred reply, eaid quickly : “Tell the good sailor you are not a little lady yet, but you hope to be some day.""— Exchange, Miss Ascum : Wasn't that Mr, Bonds I saw yoa walking with last evening? Miss Cor: Yea, Misa Ascum: He's a landed freeholder of the county, isn't he? Miss Cor (dushing): Well-er-ho isn't quite landed yet, Philadelphia Press. TO CELESTINE IN BRAVE ARRAY. Shielded and hid by such a panoply ; Garbed for defence ; feathered to fortity Oh, but it seems a far, far cry From thee to nature ! Bless thy capitulating eyes, whose ray Ont of this fort of raiment finda a way To prove thee haman, By eignals sure, that to my elgnal say, ‘This is a woman t —From a Book of Poems by Edward Sandford Martin, (Harper and Brothers.) * Ang you educating your son for any particular call, ing? * What?” * Well, he made his own selection, and as near as I can find oat he is edacating himself to be the husband of an heiress.""—Chicago Ecening Post. “Axo did he pass placidly and peacefally away, Mra, Hoggins?" eaid the district visitor, sympathetically, as be gazed at the body of the deceased bookmaker, whom he had eo long and fruitlcssly endeavored to reclaim. + Well—er—yea, sir," replied the widow, with a short, dry cough, “ you may call it that, for he was so weakened an’ worn oat with his illness, But—lor! if Bill had only bad bis strength left, you can bet there'd ha’ been a blank dash of a ruddy row about it !""—Sporting Times. Aw English clergyman, writing about woman's dress, eays that ladies of a certain class seem to vie with each otber which shall approach nearest in their dress to the garments of aman, He points his comment with a eatirical story of another absurd rivalry. ‘Two brothers went to the same echool, They were ab- sent about a fortnight, and then one returned alone. * Where is your brother Thomas?” asked the master. “Please, sir, he's laid up with a sprained arm. We were trying to see which could lean out of the window farth- est, and Tommy won."— Youth's Companion. For eale by all Newedealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Com- pany, Brean's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AczNts. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Co.. Balamore, Md Finest English Ma Underwear, Hosiery. Cotton, Wool, NEW YORK. Cie, Underwear. Men's, Women's and Children’s Underwear, Merino, Silk, Camel's hair and All-Woul ‘Swiss Ribbed and Linen Mesh Underwear. Women’s and Children's Hose, Merino and Silk. Men's Half Hose, Golf Hose. Shetland Wool Hand-Knit Spencers. Rroadovay AK 1916 ot. ‘©THE NAAE IS EVERYTHING.” Esterbrook ular stub) medium Over 150m) other styles) every pu stationers Accept no Works, Camden. N.J. 26 John Street, N.% |] VIOLETTES » CZAR THE EVER FASHIONABLE PERFUME OF ORIZA-L. LEGRAND (Grand Prix Pari: comicbooks.com