Life — October 2, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ACCOMMODATING WILFRED. What dire reeults may #pring from parpose pure t Wilfred, to please his little sister, Kate, AUS P. M. locked Michael in the tewer, ‘Then thoughtfully turned on the water gate. Now all the building trade is out on strike For working overtime to ¢ ° Mike, —Harvard Lampoon. A CosonessMax who thought that one of the great na- tional parties was trying too hard to find an issue when there was no issue in sight, rebuked his opponents by telling this story A client of mine has a large family, and accordingly is rather presacd for money. Ile came to me joyfully oneday, declaring that he had found oi! flowing from a spring on hi land, and bringing me a eample, The bortle he brought was one which he had picked up ina hurry somewhere about the house. I forwarded it toan expert chemiet, and my client and I waited with a good de of interest for his report of the analysis, Ina day or two we got this telegram : Find no trace of oil goric.""— Youth's Companion. Your friend has struck pare- A xormwontay instance of combined courage and ready wit has just carned the high commendation of the Newcastle Watch Committee, The Newcastle Chronicle eays that a policeman was being bratally maltreated by a gang of hooli- gana, and was in danyer of his life, while nobody dared to interfere, until a young woman darted among the assailants, rapidly blew the policeman’s whistle, and darted away again, Ter act broaght prompt rescue to the officer. She herself was a policeman’s daughter,— Exchange. A man had been absent for some time, and during bi Absence had raised a pretty luxuriant crop of whiskers, c. On returning home he visited @ relative, le girl he was very fond of, The little girl made no demonstration toward saluting him with a kiss, as was usual. Why, child, said the mother, Uncle Will a kiss?" “ Why, ma,” retarned the little girl, with the most per- fect simplicity, * I don't see any plac —Washington Times. * Ip you leave all your property to your eccond wife your children will certainly try to break your will. “Of course. ‘That's what I want them todo, I want them to have thelr full share of my money.” * Thea why bequeath it all to your wife?” “Well, you see, it will be easier for my children to break my will than itis for me to break hers." —New York Weekly. Very soon the train bearing Roosevelt and party would arrive in the New England town for the customary speech- making and the usual hearty demonstration of welcome. Suddenly all fs consternation. “We forgotit! Oh, we forgot it!” goes up the ago- nized murmar from the reception committee, “Brass bands? Squad of Rough Riders?" we query, “Not that! No: that!” they wail, in dire confusion, * We have long-winded speakers, flowers, flags—everything, but—bat—" But what?” we farther inquire, “Why, we haven't any of Roosevelt's old hunting guides to swap reminiscences with the President!" —Detroit Free Press. “don't you give IT NEVER WEARS OUT. You may break, you may shatter Man's heart if you will; But it always is cood for Another break etill! —Exehange. “ Tuny have captured the cleverest hotel 1 country, John.” “Indeed! Which hotel did he run $"* = Chicago Neve er in the * Twas eurprised to hear of your marriage to Chump. ley, * Why eof" demanded the burlesque actress, who hed just taken her eeventh husband, ™ Because you raid you were going to marry Sicnor Staccato.” *SoTam; but he's in Europe, and won't be hack for six months.""—Philadelphia Press, * Can‘r I ecll you a book of dwelling-honte plans? “Noy I baven't the money to build a house. Besides, this town is too dead for anything in that line. + Then perbaps this little volume of tombetone desi will interest you."— Chicago News, Ix; T never eaw anything like this tide, Here I've been pulling steadily for ten minutes, and we don't seein to have moved a foot. Sux (after a pause): Oh, Mr. Stroker, I've ust thousbt of something! ‘The anchor fell overboard a short time #20, and I forgot to tell you, Do yon ruppose it could have caught on something? — Washington Times, Fe tie by all Newsdealera in Great Britain. The Int national N London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Company, Hream's Building, Chancery Lane ECROPRAN AGENTS—Mesare. Brentanc 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paria, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., Baiumore, Md. All! ‘WM. LANAHAN & SOX, Beyond Question Hunter Baltimore Rye 1s the most perfect whiskey sold. It fs made from the cholcest of select grain and undergoes thorough ageing, thus securing perfection of flavor and bouquet. Raltimore, Md. 0 1 ofer as complete a coarse of OF Sp Ue resateat cates ae hes ever = been milled for $2 PHYSICAL CULTURE SIMPLIFIED FOR MEN, WOMEN AND CHILOREN Just published by the author Prof, AMTHOSY BARTER This book t finely bound in eloth | "Tee eystem of “instruction Rincludestsillartated with 64 tull-page half. tones fyom tie=covers every condition, roughly explanatory, A Fevult of 1 years prac: tical experience. Follow instructions outlined ard never pay another doctor's bul “Bent post paidforgi. Money returned if noteatistactory. Prof. Anthony Barker's Schoo! of Physical Culture, 1164 Broadway, Room 33, New York All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. Ifyou wish to know the truth, send for ‘How and Why,” issued by the Penn Mvtvat Lire, At your 92t-3-5 Chestnut club or dealer's Street, Phila. 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