Life — September 18, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A connesronpENt from Windsor, Vt, finds in our re- cent discussion of President G Stanley Hall's guarded apology for slang the occasion for taking the following amasing verees from their pigeonhole : EDUCATIONAL. (With apologies to Lewis Carroll.) I thonght I saw a theorist pile On bardened shoulders burdens more, Bat when [looked again it was A man of psychic lore Who eaid if teachers studied slang All children would know more, I thought I eaw an 8vo tome Indulge in antics wild, But when I looked again it was A student of the child, He aid go many curious things I felt a little riled, T thought I raw a musing boy Who tossed a rubber ball, Bat when I looked azain they eaid It was G. St—y 1 —1, A-laying down the law to them For all the world like Paul I thought I heard a wailing ery, That through the heavens rang; It rounded like a flend from hell ‘Who marshalled some tad gang ; But no—the teachers had begun ‘To study up their slang! I thought [ heard a primitive, Who epake in words uncouth, Bat when I looked again it was A twentieth-century youth, Said he,“ My lingo's up to date— You bet—and that's the trath.”* Alice A. Stevens, in Evening Post, A ontirmax in London calied on the celebrated editor of a well-known newspaper, and said: Sir, your paper has announced that I am dead."* If it is in our paper it must be true," replied the editor, * Bat it is not true ; for, as you see, I am alive,” * Well, then, i¢ cannot be helped. “ Bat I expect you to correct the misstatement," said the gentleman, ‘The editor anawered : “I cannot do that, for we never recall what is in our paper, 1 will, however, do everything to bring you back to life. To-morrow I will place your name in the list of births." —Exchange. Ar the Pension Barean a letter was recently received from a pensioner in Illinois, eaying : * Lam now getting a pension of thirty dollare a month, Recently the Lord has prospered me, and I do not think I should get so much money,” ‘The letter staggered the Bareau. An investigation was ordered, and the examiner wrote back : ™ Lhave the konor to inform you that the person who applied for a reduction of pension is now in the insane asy- Jum at this place, and has been for some time.”* —Argonaut. Ax old town official of the city of Macon, Georgia, says In Short Stories that during the night of the earthquake dis- turbances of 1886 the City Council was in session. When the quake shook the City Ilall from basement to attic the councilmen ran out, thinking the house would topple over, Whereupon the wag who kept the minutes of the meeting concluded his record with the following een. tence: ** On motion of the City Hall, the council adjourned.” Exchange. Hany Sonenxietwen, truant officer of the Twenty- first District, recently made a call at the home of a pupil whose absence had extended over a week, and inquired of the lads mother, a genial looking Irish woman, the canse. Why," she said, “he’s now past his thirteenth yc an‘ me and his father-r think he’s after-r having echoolin Schooling enoagh?" repeated the officer. W finish my education until I was twenty-three.” * Be that 00?" asked the mother, in amazement, Then, {ter a moment's thoughtful pause: Weil, sor, yez see, that boy of ours has b-r-rains."* —Philaddphia Times, A coon story comes from the Davidson Theatre and runs to the effect that a man from up the State went in to fee the opera the other night, pulling his money from bis pocket before he reached the box office window. “T want tow git a good eeat,"" he said, loud enoagh to be heard all over the lobby of the theatre, *tand [ want right down the middle lane and close up tew the exercises He got it.—Mitwaukee Free Press. For salo by all Nowedealers in Great Britain. The Inter- pational News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., Balumore, Mé its age and excellence. Redmond, Kerr & Co. BANKERS, 41 WALL STREET, NEW YORK. 232 La Salle St., Chicago. Philadelphia: GRAHAM, KERR & CO. ISSUE LETTERS OF GREDIT pa sacto teat'parts of the world. DEALERS IN HIGH GRADE INVESTMENT SECURITIES. Transact a General Foreign and Domestic Banking Business. OLD CROW RYE snior WHISKE Rich Rye Rye whiskies are richer In nutrition than those made from any other grain, as is proved by chemical analysis, which concedes to Hunter Whiskey tho merit of being the most perfect develop- ment of an alcoholic stimulant. It is par- ticularly recommended to women because of ‘WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. The Egyptian Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY H. B. KIRK & CO., SOLE BOTTLERS, NEW YORK. Four 24-Hour Trains to Chicago Every day—NEW YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com