Life — September 11, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT NEWPORT. There are millionaires and -niresses At Newpor ‘There is wealth that quite embarrasses At Newport; And the vietims—this 1s fanay Drones within the hives of honey Have to work to epend their money Down at Newport, When the pace is set for spending At Newpor ‘Then the contest comes unending, At Newpor And the aim of every fellow Is, not good, but social bellow, And he wins who spends mor Down at Newport, yellow ‘They go riding round in carria, At Newport ; Airing their unbappy marriages At Newport ; Wrinkled dowagers a-plenty, Perfumed, proud and toft with tentiment and wish- ing they were twent Down at Newport. Horeeless vehicles to ride in At Newport ; Tailleas horses to take pride in At Newport Jointless grooms with smilelers faces, Sitting sphinx-lke in their places Make a trinity of graces Down at Newport. ily skeletons gold-plated At Newport ; By all men are celebrated At Newpor Bvery sin from housetops shouted, Every grief from closet ronted— Can the Joy of life be donbted Down at Newport? Oh, to be a proud pomposity ‘At Newport ; Viewed with vulgar curiosity At Newport ; Pointed out fn half-derision As the biggest thing in vision! What to this are flelda Elysian? Off to Newport! —Columbus Dispatch. ‘Tus youthfal attorney secured a verdict in favor of the Irishman charged with murder, on the ground of temporary insanity, Me did not meet his client again for eeveral months, when the following remarks were exchanged be- tween them * Well, Pat, lan't It about time you gave me that extra $200 © Faith, an* what two hoondred is thot?" * “The $200 you promised if I saved that worthless neck of youre.” * Sure, an‘ did Ol promise that? Ol don’t ramimber,”* * Why, Pat, yoa promised it to me." Pat scratched his head for a minate, and then with a ile outlawed the claim with the rema: “Ob, well, but ye know Ol was crazy thin." Philadelphia Telegraph. Senator Paooton, of Vermont, says the finest speech he ever made consisted of only four words. It was a retort to Senator Hoar's sarcastic little thrast in a epcech directed at the Green Mountain Senator, Me said “No man in Vermont is allowed to vote unless he has made Gve thousand dollars trading with Massachusetts peop! Whereat Proctor said: And we all vote." Argonaut. A max was traveling in a smoking compartment of s city train a little while back, and at a certain station a Ge. man entered the carriage and took his reat opposite bin, When the train had started the foreigner, noticing the otber's cigar, inquired if he could give him one, The Enslishman, astonished at the request, reluctantly pulled out his case, and saw with disgust the other select the beat he could find, and take a match from bis pocket ard light it. After taking a few paffe with evident enjoymert, the German, beaming at his companion through his spec tacles, affably continued : T vould not haf dronbled you, bat Thad a mateh is mein boggit, und I did not know vat to do mit it. Chim, A Lar whom the Milwaukee Sentinel represents as 3 earnest member of a local German class has learved to read German a hitle, bat has not mastered the pronunciation of the languaze. At a recent meeting of the class she gave them more amusement than they got out of the Germaa humorists they were reading One of the questions in the lesson for the yoa not glad you are able to learn German” The question was, of course, in German, and the an. ewer was, * Ja, gewiss.”” which mans, * Yea, certaicly.” ‘When she was called upon to read the question snd an- swer, the lady upsct the whole class by eaying : “Ya; gee whizz!"—Exchange. y was, “Are * AND you," encered the first automobilist, Ue the best chauffear in town?” “Ido,” etoutly answered the second automobilist, © You do?” was the continuation of the sneer. “You do? And yet you never killed anything except a chickeo it all your career !"" Stang to the quick, the eecond antomobilist lurked with his machine ia the vicinity of a schoolhouse all afters forgetting, Io his blind rage, that it was vacation time. —Baltimore Amertean. * claim to For sao by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Ioter- ‘s Building, Chancery Lane, ational News Company, Linea: London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Established 1823. ECHOPEAN AGENTS—Mesare. Brentano, 37 Avenue de 'Opera, Paris, “Angostura,”” tinues. recent sults Instituted | by’ agents of a country. handle facturer, cw. Despite the decision of different courts that there can be no monopoly of the word the controversy still con— It ‘would seem, however foreign corporation, dealers in Abbott's Angostura Bitter a well laid plan to capture trade by annoy- Ing customers In different The interests of all Abbott's Angostura ever, will be looked after by parts of the dealers who Bitters, how- Abbott, of Baltimore, facturer, is justly indignant over the sux- keatlon ‘that he was counterfeiting, and THE NAME IS EVERYTHING.” Esterbrook an absolute that the ew York against is but the 'manu- tho manu- Seay W says that he and his father before him, and the firm of Maynard & Co. before them, have been making Angostura Bitters from Angostura bark for thirty years, He has also issued the following statement: ‘Our manufacture of Angostura Bitters has been continued for thirty years. We made and sold it under that name several years before the word ‘Angostura’ was used by any other concern to describe thelr bit~ ters, One manufacturer first used the word ‘aromatic’ on their label, and the word *Angostura’ did rot appear on it or In any That’s All! * of_their circulars or advertisements until HE WILSON DISTILLING C 1875, three years after we had adopted the name. Balumore, Ma “The courts of both Maryland and New York have already decided that there ts no monopoly of the word ‘Angostura.’ ‘The lecision seems to be based on the common enso principle that {f shoes are made out of cloth they can be called cloth shoes, oF put of leather, naturally leather shoes. Thus If bitters ‘are made out of Angostura bark they can be called Angostura Bittere.”* ©LD CROW RYE. srratanr WHISKEY SOLE BOTTLERS, NEW YORE Morning, Noon and Night Fast Trains to The West—Via NEW YORK CENTRAL. WILSON stationers \|/ have them. Accept no® substitute. ——_—_—_—_—_————— THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO ‘Works; Camden, NJ, 26 Joba Street, N.Y. comicbooks.com or Ba