Life — September 11, 1902 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“BPRE: Chesterfield Sandbag to His Son. M* DEAR BOY: Practice the graces of life if you seek “ success; virtue is its own reward and presents no daz- zling incentive. Temperance and frogality are the hand- maidens of thrift. Be temperate in language and frugal in words ; so will you earn a reputation for shrewdness, which is better, commercially, than wisdom. Tem- perance is more than the intemperate use of water ; but do not scorn water, which has been honored in all the ages. Remember water is the basis of mod- ern wealth, when combined with sagacity and a Jersey charter; and by its aid we float enterprises. A thoroughly irrigated enterprise produces great wealth for tho irrigators; nor can the submerged in- vestors be unhappy altogether, since water is the natural element of the confiding sucker. Lack of appreciation of the fertilizing possibilities of water has made count- Jess thousands mourn, How many noble, ambitious, industrious souls are now in seclusion who failed to realize that water was a@ more effective aid to wealth than the jimmy and a yard of lead pipe? Had the energy, zeal and initiative of the late Mr. Tracy of Washington been applied to hydraulics rather than pyrotechnics, he might now be adorning the directory of many of our most aqueous trusts. Ignorant of aquatics, he ended a dead duck; and a dead duck, my boy, has no standing outside of a Bohemian table d’ hote. Frugality ! Precious treasure of Jerusalem and Drum- “WHY, WILLIE, YOU DIDN'T TAKE OFF YOUR CaP TO THE MINISTER!" “TO HIM? ORgAT scoTT! I'M MIs CADDIE!” “ CONPOUND THIS WIRELESS TRLEGRAPHY. MY WIPE HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME EVER SINCE I LEFT HOME.” tochty. Be frugal in all things—occasionally. Be fragal in lending, but lavish in explanation. Be liberal in endors- ing policies and opinions, but frugal in endorsing paper. Truth is rare and precious : do not squander it in finan- cial circles; to do so argues lack of conservatism. Be neither extravagant in its use, nor untimely in its employ- ment. Speak fearlessly of the incarcerated enemy of society ; be modestly reticent of the successful irrigator. Remember that Truth loves water since it has resided so long in the bottom of a well. Generosity is a lovely grace and shines resplendent united with holy friendship. Select the objects of your generosity with care and discretion ; a man is known by his friends. PoorasI am, my boy, I would never hesitate to endorse the paper of my friends, Morgan and Gates, Carnegie and Rockefeller, if only to show a carping world how I love and trust them; yet have I ever restrained myself from asking their endorsement, as I never embarrass my friends—that way. Let who will, my son, practice the virtues; the graces have a value on the Street. Joseph Smith, ‘D®ATH has two sickles: Time and the doctor. Nop: The man next door has a two-year-old dog that cost him a thousand. Topp: That's nothing. My baby cost me two thousand, and wouldn't bring a cent. comicbooks.com