Life — September 4, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME INTERESTING EPITAPHS. ‘There was a man who died of Jate, Whom angels did impatient wait With oatetretched arma and «miles of love 1 to the reall ering round th the p devil elipped in like a weasel And down to Hell he took old Kezle. Here lies the body of Robert Lowe, Whither he’s gone I do not know If to the realins of peace and love, Farewell to happiness above. If toa place of lower le I don’t congratulate the d— Here lies interred Priscilla Bird Who sang on earth till sixty-two, Now upon high above the sky No doubt she sings like eixty—too, Here lies the body of Susan Lowder Who burst while drinking Sedlit powder. AN anonymous physician who has written some “ con- fessions™ for the Jadependent, tells an amusing story about himeel * T received a request to call from an old patient, who was afraid she was taking ecarlet fever,” he eays, “I re- sponded at once. The patient was one of two elderly #is- ters whom I had attended for many years. T greeted ber in the sitting room, and noted her pulse while in the act of shaking hands with her. By some witty remarks T con- trived to make her laugh, which enabled me to sce her tongue. Then Isaid, ina playfal tone “+ If you will get me a glass I will treat you to some of my patent roda water,” “She did eo, I pat a tablet in the water, and she drank it. IT want you to know that I take pride in my original methods. I try to educate my patients to like, and not 10 dread, the visits of the doctor. In this case all of my work had to be dove without the direct knowledge of the pati and I felt very good over it, So T bade my patient good-by with extreme cheerfulness. She looked surprised, and thea aid : © + Of course, yoo will come upstairs and ece my sister ?* “++ Not today, I said ; * give her my respects." Why,’ she eaid, looking mystified and startled, * how strangely you talk !* y $ Techoed, * why ?* WILLIAM C, WHITNEY AS A MASCOT. A story is going the rounds about William C nd one of Lis negro hostlers, Mr. Whitney had poticed that each time he visited bis stable thie man wateb move he made, and, upon one pretext oF another, to keep near to him from the moment he entered the stahle Lill be left it. ‘The financier was greatly puzzled by thecon- duct of the negro, and one day he called bim aside. © Peter," he said,“ why do you follow me around « watch me #0 closely every time I enter the stables You must have some good reason for your actions. What is it Has I gotter ‘splain, sah”? Certainly." 1's powerful *fraid dat ivi spoil de charm, eab." * Spoil what charm? What do you mean?” © Well, ea, it's dis yere way. Ev'ry mawnin* I fooks up de entries fo" de day's races, Den I names things in ée stable fo" de bosses, eee? De wheels of de kertiges; de heads, an‘ de tails, an’ de #houlders, an‘ de flanks of de howses; de harnesses, whips ev'rything in de stable's doze gotter name of one of de howses dat'll run in de rsces to. day. Fo" instance, when yo" comes in you walks "found an" ‘epec’s things, an’ yo" tonches things, Whatever yo" touch, I plays. Dat air wheel what yo" just shook, ter see if it tounil, is named Gold Icels, an’ dis nigger’s gwine ter play Gold Heels fo" de limit." Becanse I sent for you to prescribe for my sister, and cline to eee her.” my mind in an instant. [had pre- scribed for the wrong sister, I was entirely too clever,” —Exchange. “ T scrrosm that when you get out you will be a better Called from thia world to her heavenly rest Mr. Whitney laughed heartily. She should have waited till it effervesced, ** Are you lucky, Peter?” “Lucky? Why, Mr. Whitney, dem han's of yoars knows mo* ‘bout prophecy dan ole "Lifah hisself 1" A man of letters it seems was he; ‘The college made him LL, D. ‘The Order of a P. G. W. C. Grim death has given him the G. B. And may his ashes R. I, ~Exchange. Ob, yes, mum. I'm rapidly masterin’ de finer prints ‘an’ expect ter go in fer bank robbin' w'en I gits out 1°" —Chicago Daily News. Lvcx and Piack are a couple of shifty lightweights, bet Grit and Gumption can knock ‘etn out in one roand. —Boston Home Journat. —Baltimore Nees. For salo by all Newadealerain Great Britain. ‘The Int national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, Loodoa, E. C., England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! ECROPRAN AGENTS—Mesara. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris. Hunter Whiskey Gratifies and Always Satisfies. THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. WM. LANAHAN & SOS, Baltimore, Md. Ralamore, Ma DEALERS 1 Redmond, | watt crave Kerr & Co. | INVESTMENT BANKERS, SECURITIES. Philadelphia Foreign and Domestic GRAHAM, KERR & co. \ Banking Business. ISSUE LETTERS OF CREDIT in Sterling, Francs, Marks or Dollars, payable in all parts of the world. Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY At your club or dealer’s 20th CENTURY LIMITED -228.2"- New York Central & Lake Shore comicbooks.com