Life — August 28, 1902 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

179 Smith (who has deen “ nerving himself up" for the event): neat c#san’s cuosT! Mow MANT oF ’ex ang Bored? furnishes free of charge, find the State where the men are greatly in the majority, remove there, and you will soon, if you are a good and amiable woman, be asked to marry, or ‘find a husband’; this much at least you can do: create the opportunity. He will do the rest. Florence Clinton Sutro, Shark (relating the inciden; ‘rox MY oNon, GENTLEMEN, HE WAS AS LONO as THAT. A Fatal Objection. L ABOR was wild. He + found his work very hard, his head was swelled, and he didn’t know his place, and he was unreason- able and violent; so they took him to the Social Re- form Clinic and considered his case. When he was stripped, an iron collar appeared im- bedded in his neck, and Doctor Lord explained that many years ago,when Labor was a child of wandering habits, he had put the collar on him, and that it had never seemed to do him any harm, He said also that, anyhow, there was plenty of room for Labor outside of the collar. - Doctor Legis suggested compulsory arbitration to decide what was really La- bor's place. Doctor Ate- ower said: ‘' I think that to shorten his days would lengthen his life.” Doctor Malitia said that his system needed stimulation. is said he, ‘if we could get him into a fight, so he wouldn't think about his own condition——" Doctor Boness said a share in the profits of exploiting would do Labor good. Doctor Status said an old age pension would help Labor very much if he lived long enough, but that if he should die sooner, what he needed was an Association for the Reduction of Funeral Expenses. “A law against sweating,” said Doctor Statute. ‘And against drinking,” said Doctor Prohib; ‘if he didn’t drink he wouldn't sweat.” “And against gambling and other excitement ded Doctor Nosey. Not forgetting,” said Doctor Vigilant, “a law against immorality (of the cheaper grades).” “ Why not remove the iron collar?” asked an orderly. “My friends,” said Doctor Conservita, **we have bad many excellent suggestions here to-day from my learned colleagues ; all Now, 2 of which we will try again, if the patient can be kept quiet ; but we are not here to consider the revolutionary theory of this Radical.” So they discharged the orderly. Labor had another fit that night and cut Doctor Conservita's throat. Bolton Hall, " A TLAS must have been strong to have held the world +X on his shoulders.” “Yes, but I met a thin Boston girl the other day who was carrying Boston around with her went.” wherever she comicbooks.com