Life — August 21, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OMAR KHAYYAM, JUNIOR. Little we learn beyond our A BC— Except D EF GI Lit be OrdKLMNOPQR And then STUY WX ¥Z. —The Dial. Tite following prayer for the dyspeptic has been drawn up by an expert of this city. ‘The surprising thing about it is that it fovolves a fee of five dollars : Holy Reality, we belleve in thee and that thoa are the only reality in this patient's stomach. We will never eay how sick weare, Thou are not sick. Indeed, nothing i this universe f+, of ever was of ever can be. Forgive as that we talked of our aches and said our food hurts and that we thought medicine would help us, We know that is no such thing 98 a diseased stomach, It is carnal mind, given over to the workl and the de It isa mortal ‘8 falee attitode, a ‘Marmatia’ of thought. What low of a “lie. $ to be ne ia a paras us to affirm that we have no dy never will have it, that there are no snch thing, that there never was any #uch thing and never will be, Amen!” New York Evening Sun, Or acertain bishop, famous as abc to come downstairs, and, pointing to the astonished parton, said, with a grin of delight : “Look ‘e ‘ere, Sairry, Yer said this mornin’ as T war the hugliest chap in England. Now, just yer look at this bloke !"—Erchange Ove day, in the fammer of 1857, Abraham Lincoln was sitting in his office when he was visited by one of his neigh- bors, an excellent farmer, but one inclined to increase the size of his crops even after harvesting. He had given, on this particular morning, a skilfully padded account of the hay he bad put in. “T've been cutting hay, too,” remarked Mr. Lincoln. * Why, Abe, are you farming?" s+ What you ral Just hay.” this year? Excellent.” ** How many tons?" * Well, I don’t know just how many tona, Simpson, but my men stacked all they could outdoors, and then stored the rest in the barn.""—Argonaut. Tue Chicago Inter-Ocean prints this true story of the phone! The baby has come! Say, mother, mother, ¢ quick! You are a grandma "* Tow do yoa know?" cried a woman's voice, excitedls “ Why, the baby himself is telephoning from Chicago 1" Well, father,” said another voice through the tele phone, * wh think of your first grandson? Jost ten minutes old, and announcing his arrival to ins New York grandparents! Me is lying on a pillow, and whenever he screams I pat the ‘phone to his mouth."—£xchange . Wane, the new Commissioner of Prustons who, over the name of * Ironquill,"" long azo established Lis reputation as a wit and writer of verse, has been much ioter. ested for years in the condition of roads in his adopted State of Kansas, Recently R, W. Richardson, secretary of the Notion Good Roars Association, who i« preparing to take a g roads construction train across the Continent, Fai Ware: * How do the farmers in Kansas stand on the road ques tion? * Upto their knees,” was the reply Philadelphia Pout, AN extremely stoat, good-tempered English womas once contrived to wedge herself into a gallery scat at the the Liverpool bat tells this pleasing tale way a baby in Chic lay, as this homely parron rat in an omnibus, be — when he was only t wc by the persistent staring of a fellow passenger, \ed himself as follows : © Well, yes; that is #0," “ Look “ere, parson, woald you mind comin’ tome with gered to the * me to wee my wife?” “Meito 1" i 1c wife was Fick and needing At great inconvenience to himself, went with the babe. ne house the mao shouted to his wife * Hurrant ance, the man, On arriving d bis New York relatives The telephone bell rang in the home of a New York man, who, whether he is at home of abroad, keeps his Oger + You're a parson, ain‘t you?" ‘on the pulse of the markets of the world. Half awake, and dimly conscious that it was long past midnight, he stag- Over the wire came the plaintive wail of a new-born Adelphi Theatre that would have accommodated a person of ordinary size, to the unconcealed annoyance of a smarty dressed youth next to her, She began to peel an orange, and the youth, with a gesture of complaint, removed his elk hat fussily to a kafer position, “1 soppose,” said the good-tempered woman, * yoa'd rather have had a gentleman sitting by the side of you, sir, wouldn't you? The youth replied, enappisbly, in the affirmative “Ab!” eaid the woman, thooghtfally, ** «0 would 1:" sale by all Newsdeaters in Great Britain. The Inter. cal News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lan 2 England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! E WILSON DISTILLING Balumore, M¢ ECROPEAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brectaos, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paria, Tough Work To the combatants in Field or Water Sports comes complete exbaustion. Even crowds who look on are wearied. Hunter Baltimore Rye from its purity, maturity and quality, will satisfy all needs. 4 % * WM. LANAHAN & SOX, Baltimore, Md. DEALERS IN HIGH GRADE NVESTMENT SECURITIES. Redmond, Kerr & Co. BANKERS, 41 WALL STREET, NEW YORK. . Transact a General 232 La Salle St., Chicago. Philadetphia Foreign and Domestic GRAHAM, KERR & co. \ Banking Business. ISSUE LETTERS OF CREDIT tassr'os- trance, Marks of Bellare Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY At your clab or dealer's First-Class Hotels and Clubs, on Wheels—Ths,2'rve" The New York Central comicbooks.com