Life — July 3, 1902 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Postscript. HE poets tell how Psyche sped When first she gave the reins to folly; How Cupid quit his board and bed And ieft her to her melancholy. They also tell what deeds were done Ere she repaired her sad undoing ; Before immortal life was won And Jove himself approved their wooing. But no one tells in fitting song ‘The truth she learned in love's renewal : ‘That parting, if not over long, To passion’s flame gives added fuel. Or how since then, with studied art, From time to time she raises Hades, ‘Then melts to tears to win his heart, As is the way of mortal ladies. a hint that’s worthy of future songs and carols : Though Cupid gives to mortals love, "Tis Psyche gives them lovers’ quarrels. Peter McArthur, Moments of History. SHORT DESCHIPTIONS OF FAMOUS MISTORICAL EVENTS, TOR TUE EARNEST STUDENT AND SEEKER AFTER KNOWLEDGE. (From Oficial Documente.) Tue Carture or Miss Evven M. Stoxr. ULGARIA had never looked so beautiful as it did on that autumn morning. The little band of mis- sionaries, carrying sealed instructions from Major Pond, proceeded in silence to the appointed place, where the seal was broken amid the noise of ginger beer bottles. The instrue- tions were as follows : “When you have arrived in the heart of the bold Bulgarian forest, call ‘ Ping-Pong !’ three times. If the brigands fail to appear, make a bold dash for their hiding-place. “Ponp.” The signal was given, and there being no response, the intrepid Miss Stone, followed by her noble little band, dashed across a stream and into a neighboring grove, where they caught the leader of the brigands hid- ing behind a log. He wilted as Miss Stone gazed at him. “LIPE* “What! Miscreant!" she hissed between her set teeth. ‘* Would you elude me thus, and spoil my whole future dramatic career? ver! "” The leader of the brigands thereupon gave the signal to his men to carry out their contract. “Iv's no use, boys,” he said. “ We're discovered at last, and we've got to give this lady her rights.” Thus history recorded another triumph of Christianity, Tue Birt or tux Stee, Trust. A ANHERE were present J. P. Mor- @, gan, Charles Schwab and Andrew Carnegie. Said Andrew Carnegie: “Gentlemen, I will be candid with you, I want to buy the Philippine Islands, I want aback yard. Ineed a place where Teau go and sit and smoke and sce the water cure. How much am I offered?” “Charles,” said Mr Morgan, ‘hand me that million-dollar bond, will you? My cigar has gone out.” Turning to Mr. Carnegie, he eaid coldly “Sir, you mistake our motives. We are underwriters. As you kuow, an under- writer is actuated by purely patriotic motives. The only reason we want your property is because we don’t want Mr. Rockefeller to annex the United States to the Baptist Church. What do you say?” “ As longas you put it on a purely patriotic basis,” replied Mr. Carnegie, give me for my old Pittsburg outfit, say, a hundred mil- lions and a new pair of kilts to wear at the authors’ club, I must have clothes.” Mr. Schwab now faced his benefactors. “ Gentlemen,” he said, *‘ where do Icome in?” “Listen, Charlie,” said Mr. Morgan. “Well make you president if you'll do something to inspire the people with abso- lute confidence in yourself.” “Done,” said Mr. Schwab, ‘I'll start for Monte Carlo to-night.” Wall Street was then notified and the country was saved. Turovore Roosevett axp San Juan Hite. T daybreak it became evi- dent that the Spaniards were on the alert. Their snores could be heard only at odd intervals, and one or two could be seen sitting up. A telegram was received from General Shafter saying he had gained three pounds in fourdays. “ Iurry,” he urged, “or this suspense will kill me.” Roosevelt consulted with his rough riders. “Shall we climb that hill now,” he said, “Cor wait for instructions from Washing- ton?” ‘There was but one reply: ‘Now or never!"” A Journal correspondent then came up and offered his services. They were accept- ed. Soon a lot of boys with extra Journals were hurrying toward the ill-fated enemy. “* Head-lines to the front! ”’ was the order. The terror-stricken Spaniards, gazing at the awful sight, broke and fled. Then Roosevelt, at the head of his gallant company, gained the day, with Shafter hun- dreds of miles away. Ernest Tuompsox-Seron Jorns tue Starr or “Tie Lap:xs’ Home Journav.” T was noon in Philadelphia. A solitary horse car could be seen making its way down Market Street. The horses, with their feet carefully muflled so as not t to awake the sleeping inhabitants, seemed to be instinctively imbued with the importance of their errand. The only sound that disturbed the stillness was the growing of the grass. Alighting swiftly from the car, our hero made his way to the office of The Ladies’ Home Journal. He was accompanied by a Philadelphia spring chicken of the vintage of '49, a Harlem goat and a Welsh rabbit. Rorer met him on the stair, and y pressed his hand with one finger on “The Master sleeps,” she whispered. *' He has just written his monthly editorial and is quietly resting on his bier.” “*What!’ murmured Thompson-Seton. “Bok bier! How awful! And I thought this was to be a Sand Hill stag party 1" Mrs, Sangster then took him gently by the hand, and he was led over to the re- cruiting room, and subscribed to the follow- ing articles: 1. I promise to drink nothing but Mel- lin's Food. Not to use any gray matter, . To be ladylike all the rest of my life. . To use nothing but bifurcated thoughts. To read the 1. HI. J. religiously. . To get all the subscribers I can. Mr. Bok then woke up and gave Setou- ‘Thompson the glad hand, and he began re- ceiving his salary in pasteurized money. Layixo THE CoRNeERSTONE TO THe NEw York Cenrrat Tunnen. HERE were present the Mayor and staff, the President of the road and staff, and the United Undertakers’ As- Sociation of the State of comicbooks.com