Life — July 3, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN THE PHILIPPINES, A coldier on his return to Manila from Batangas, con- tributed the following to the Manila American; Backward, turn backward, O time in your flight, And let me go home again Just for to-night. Tam eo weary of tole leather steak, And petrified hardtack a sledge can not breal ‘Tomatoes and beans in hot water bath, And bacon as strong as Goliath of Gath; Weary of starving on what I can't cat, And chewing up rubber and calling it beef. Backward, turn backward, weary Iam, And give me a whack at dear mother's Jam ; And let me drink milk that has never been skimmed, Let me eat batter whose hair has been trimmed, Give me once more an old fashioned pie, And then I'll be ready to go south and die, —Exrehange. Ir Is said that the late Amos J, Cummings, at tho time President Harrison occupied the White House, went there ‘one morning to see him, Major Halford, after the New York member bad been waiting an hour, went over to him and aid: ‘Tam awfal rorry, bat you can't see the President.” By this time Mr. Cummings was at a white heat for having been kept waiting so long, and when Major Halford had concladed, he dramatically exclaimed : Great God! Is he as small as all that ?"* —Argonaut. NM MLy WATER-CURE TESTIMONIAL, “Dean Usciz Sam: For the last foar years I have been an intermittent sufferer from insurgentitis. Yesterday eome new-found acquaintances filled me with rejoicing—and with sixteen gallons of your traly wonderful remedy for lapse of memory, failing eyesight, loss of apcech, and otber symptoms of insargentitis, I feel like a new man. I felt big enough for eight new men, Yours, moistly, xatia Rarrenixo.” —Raltimore Amertean. “My niece Mary was always a well meaning girl, bat she would say the wrong thing almost every time,” said one old gentleman to another ; “and she’s got a boy that’s going to be her very caunterpart.”. © ‘Theold gentleman's eyes twinkled, and his plain, good- natured: face’ was packered with enjoyment ashe drew from his pocket book a small sheet of note-paper. “TL sent Hal a toy-monkey that plays all kinds of pranks when it's wound up,” #aid he, chuckling. "Sent It to him for his birthday. Now yoa listen to this letter of thanks I got from him to-day, He's Just elght years old : ** Deen UncieNep.—I am delighted with the munkey, thank you, He makes me think of you very offen. And whenever mamma wiads him up and he begins to Jump, mammaand I feel ax if we were back at your house where all those toys are, and mamma will look at the munkey and say, “That's your Uncle Ned all over." “** Good-bye from “* your gratfall Har.' —Pitleburg Bulletin. A Tainsty giraffo songht to quaft A draught from an ice-cold carafe, Te shoved his big noee in Until it got frozen, So the laagh remained on the giraffe, —Tige, Sm Wexres Retp tells a good story about Willtg Black. At a banquet of the Royal Academy at which be was present two rich gentlemen, with *eelf-made " writte: large all over them, inquired with an air of patronaze wks line of business be was in. On hia meekly replyi wrote novels, they expressed their surprise and meeting a person of his class, ‘The first gentleman raid, “| like to mectlittery poople. I bay books, I've got a library of six hundred volames all bound fn fall calf, the works of Thackeray and Dickenson, and if y me the names of yours I'll buy them too, I've never af them." The eecond gentleman, anxious to atone for his fries indiscretion, kicked his shins under the table and raid, "04, yes, you have, but you're forgotten them."— Exchange. On one of his later birthday anniversaries, Senator Now wrote to William M. Eva nd congratulated him upon bs length of years. In his reply, the aged lawyer ead & broaght to mind an old lady In New England, who had « casion to write to a friend about some matter of trifling in portance, and when she had reached the end of the thirtere page awakened to the fact that she had been rather differ, and added : “Please excuse my longevity.""—Argonaut. For alo by all Nowsdealers in Great Britain. Tho Inter company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, national Net London, E. C., England, AGENTS. EUROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue del'Opera, Paris, Opening Day, Saturday, July 5 BRIGHTON GREAT $10,000 HANDICAP RIGHTON RACES SPARKLING PROGRAMMES OF STAKE, HANDICAP AND PURSE EVENTS Every Day AT 2.30 P.M. until August 2 The Brighton Grand Stand is the coolest place around New York on a hot sultry day. It is open front and rear and both sides, affording full sweep to the delightfully cool and bracing ocean breezes, and gives an unobstructed view of every part of the Race. Music by Landers. ALL CONEY ISLAND ROUTES LEAD DIRECT TO THE TRACK comicbooks.com