Life — June 26, 1902 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

555 Neck, thin “LIFE: players to Council Bluffs. Fat men will go to men to Littleton, and melancholy men to Sulphur Springs. The cooks will go to Pottstown, the anarchists to Bombay, cabmen to Hoboken, vivisectionists to the Catskills, and all the shoppers to Paw Paw. Pool players will goto the Pyramids, leather men to Morocco, magnates to the Rockies, while those whose for- tunes are falling will go to Sag Harbor. All the peach growers will go to Pittsburg, and the lace- makers will go to Old Point. The confectioners will flock to Mt. Desert, and the gossips to Peking. AND FINALLY, Those whose thoughts are fixed on Heaven will go to St. Petersburg. And those whose thoughts are in the other direction will go to Fire Island. Glad. * TIME to laugh."—Ecclemastes tt, 4, Ivis a glad day for the fuithful in Isracl when the Lord justifies their faith. The event must be particularly gratifying to the clergy of the estab- lished church, who have maintained all along that the Prince of Peace was prince of no peace incompatible with British honor. Atheists have not neglected to sneer when the Boer arms have tem- porarily prevailed, as to say: “A sorry God, yours, to suffer the triumph of a people who eat with their knives and who do not tub themselves more than once a year at the outside!” IFE is not length, but breadth and depth. SUMMER 18 HERE. Their Vacations. CT HE musicians will ive on the Sound, and the ping-pong players will go to Table Bay. The summer girls will naturally go to the Isle of Man, and those too old to be loved will seck the Isle of I’ Dipsomaniacs will go to Bar Harbor, brewers to Behring Straits, while all reformed drunkards will goto Haddam. The coal men will flock to Asheville, poets will go to Attica, geometricians to Cuba, tramps to Bath, horseback riders to Canterbury, funny men to Chestnut Ridge, golf players to Banker Hill, philanthropists to the Bounty Islands, Boston girls to Chili, and chiropodists to Cornwall. . Printers will go to Ems, aurists to Erie, pawnbrokers to Hocking Valley, spiritualists to’ Knoxville, burglars to Lock Haven, Pullman car porters to Palm Beach, but there is some doubt about the Filipinos going to Liberty. Those who linger too long will go to Tarrytown. All the stuffs will go to Turkey. Prohibitionists will goto the Water Gap, and all practical jokers to Cape Cod. Some Wall Street men will go to Great Bear Lake and others to Bull Run. Folks troubled with insomnia will go to Sleepy Hollow. Roulette players will go to Wheeling, and poker “ge Lovee e—a5 Loree wx NOT-aE Loves wx." comicbooks.com