Life — June 19, 1902 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

528 The Highest Bidder. A pew at St. John's, the fashionable church at Washington, was recently put up at auction and rold for $2,700. AAR to the voice of the auctioneer. Who bids? We sell salvation here ; There's a musty tale 'twas offered free In far-off ancient Galilee, But times have changed and you must pay If you'd be saved in a high-toned way. Who bids? How much for cushioned ease, For rustle of silks with bending knees, For well-groomed priests, and surpliced choir, With voices the sweetest that money can hire, For peace that only the pious know Who worship the Lord, just comme il fant? If you're a struggler, and long and fret For an open door to the smartest set, You should own a pew where they weekly meet, Where the rich unfailingly find a seat. A thousand? That will never do; An aristocratic St. John pew, With a ticket to heaven and Fi Is worth a very much larger pil Two thousand,—and one,—tw« Ah, now you begin to look ali Two thousand six, two thousand seven, That really sounds a little like heaven ; ‘Two seven—and—gone ; you've won the goal ; Henceforth you're smart, and have saved your soul. Amen, shion's smile, —three,- -four,—five ; The Auctioneer, As to Christian Science. ROM time to time Lire has re- ceived various protests from Christian Science headquar- ters regarding the publica- tion of occasional paragraphs that are declared to be unfairand inimical to Christian Science in- terests. There seems to be some truth in the argument advanced by Chris- tian Scientists that they are en- titled to the respect, if not the en- > dorsement, of the just, on the ground that they are happy, and as evidence of this, they point with pride to their _ 7 smiling faces, to their increasing mem- #° vership roll, and to the long list of the “maimed and the halt now alleged to have been made whole. There is another point that, while not strictly within the limits of logical inference, may properly be sympathetically adduced in favor of the Christian Scientists. And that is the extraordinary heat with which their opponents have waged war against them. Lrrr. does not recall one argument against Mrs. Eddy and her sect that has not been characterized either by scientific dogmatism of orthodox petulance, from Pro- fessor Jastrow to Doctor Buckley. Not long ago it seemed as if the entire Christian ministry was bent on tearing Christian Scien- tists to pieces. This sort of thing, inspired, doubtless, by the dere- liction of church members to Christian Science ranks, apparently -LIFE- has done not so much harm to the abusée as to the abuser. But sanity and sectarianism never have been brothers. Lire does not approve of Christian Science; not because Christian Scientists are so peculiarly unwholesome as their enemies would have them, as because they are sailing under false colors. ‘They claim a special spiritualistic insight which they deny to outsiders, unless outsiders are willing to receive it ‘ for a consider- ation.” “We are but teaching,” they say in substance, ‘the real religion of Jesus, which you must approach spiritually and not in- tellectually.” They claim to follow Christ more closely than does any other reli- gion, but they receive money for everything they do. It appears that the copyright on Mrs. Eddy's book is so jealously guarded, that if any one should attempt to publish it without authority an injunction would be served immediately. Even the medical profession doesn't stoop to this ; any doctor who receives a royalty on a discovery being ostracised. ‘There is no record of Jesus having received anything for his services. If, as is claimed, Christian Science has cured so many diseases, it has not cured Death. That indefatigable worker is still with us, and there is no prospect of his striking for shorter hours. So that the utmost claim of Christian Scientists amounts to th That they can produce a first-class testimony, duly accredited, for every gravestone. Until Christian Scientists can make their system as free as the air and their text-book as free as the Bible, and until they can cure Death, they must be content to have their system regarded by unprejudiced observers merely as a good patent medic! Those who think it has cured them will believe in and those who don’t think so will look upon it in the same light as other patent medicines, Skeptical. A® extra confirmed the earlier report that the Roosevelt. children had followed a circus parade three blocks. But the people were quite apathetic. “It’s probably a fake !” said they, for they had lost all confidence in the newspapers. THE saddest result of a man’s loss of faith is his bother- ing other people about it. Treachery. TTHERE seems to be no denying that the Filipinos are treach- crous. In some provinces, it is said, the usually effective recourse of killing all the males above ten years of age has been rendered all but nugatory by the astonishing facility with which the native women lie about the ages of their children. What is the use in our spending our valuable time benevolently assimilating people who have not the first rudiments of a moral character? THE efforts of Mont Pelée to make itself comfortable are still observed with profound concern, It has made trouble enough. Mankind would be obliged if such of its grievances as remain unredressed could be submitted to arbitration. rT°O dress really well one needs a little more than one has, comicbooks.com