Life — June 5, 1902 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SSS" OUR FOOLISH. .* ONTEMPORARTE Lirvum Jack Horner rat in a corner Watching his chips mount bigh. Ne eat awhile grinning, Then eaid: “Mat I'm winning, What a wizand at poker am Yale Record. Willie,” eaid his teac vhat makes your "Aw, 1 just had scarlet fever and it ecttled in me head.” —The Widow. $5900 TO CALIFORNIA AND RETURN from Chicago via Chicago and North-Western, Union Pacific, and Southern Pacific Ratlways. Round trip tickets on sale May 27th to June sth. The * Overland Limited * Provides the best of everything. Compartment observa- on cars ; buifet Itbrary cars (with barber and bath); din- ing cara. Corresponding rates from other potots. All agents sell tickets via this route, SexATOR Mason of Ilinois was recently asked If he thought that Senator Morgan's reputation of being the longest-winded speaker in the United States Senate was founded on fact. ‘The Ilinoiean replied : ‘Tam not certain that senatorial courtesy will permit me to answer that question: and, being a candidate for re- election, I will dodge it, But this T will say: Tonce asked Senator Morgan how long he could talk on a subject he didn’t know avything about, and he replicd : “Sf T didn't know anything at all about st I don't think I could talk more than three days about it 1*" ~Argonaut, OLD POINT COMFORT, VA, ‘This fashionable resort ts famed for the health-giving properties of its atr, Tennis and golf, Fine hotels. “Tire assessor hasn't listed your property at one-tenth of what itis worth? Then why don't you increase your ar- eessment volantarily #* * did that last year, and everybody eaid I was making ‘a grand-stand play for popularity."— Chicago Tribune. A centatn literary critic in quest of expert opinions wherewith to build him a lordly symposium, eent out broad cast a set of queries, of which one was: “Ts the prospect that the books will be larger of smaller this year than last year? From a prominent New York publisher he got this brief and golden opinion: “The prospect is that the good books will rel] better, and the bad ones worse.""—Argonaut, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON, Commonwealth Avenue, Electric Lights. New and most approved plumbing. “ Wrat's yer daddy a-doin* these days?" Well, when he ain't a-fithin’ he's a-lyin’ roun', an’ when he's a-fishin’ he’s alyin’ anyhow 1" —Atlanta Constitution. It fe told of a learned professor, who was better at Greek than golf, that after a round on the links, in which he had foozled most of his shots, he turned to his caddie for advice as to improving his play, The reply of the rathless caddie was: vy F, It's easy to teach Iaddies Latin and Greek. bat it needs a head for gow! Tit-Bite, Iv you area“ bon vivant.” drink the best Champagne | on the market, Cook"s /mperial Extra Dry. “War's that soand of ranning water out there, Willie? “It's only as boys, ma. We've been tryin’ the Filly. piny water cure on Hobbie Snow and now we're pouring him out,"—Cleveland Plain Decler. Ask your Doctor about the good of beer. He will confirm what we tell ou— That barley-malt is a half-digested food, as good as food can be. That hops are an excellent tonic. That the little alcohol in beer—only 3:% —is an aid to digestion. That he prescribes beer for the weak. But Purity is Essential But he will tell you that beer, being a sac- charine product, must be protected from germs, and must be brewed in absolute cleanliness. That it should be cooled in filtered air. That the beer itself should be filtered. And, as an extreme precaution, every bottle should be sterilized. He'll say, too, that age is important, for age brings perfect fermentation. Without it, beer ferments on the stomach, causing biliousness. When he tells you that he has practically prescribed Schlitz. Schlitz beer is brewed with all these precautions. It is the recognized standard all the world over, because of its purity. Ask for the brewery bottling. ABBOTTS oniciva Angostura t piers. ed Cc. Ww. | «. LIFE BINDER ... CHEAP, STRONG AND DURABLE We furnish these in black or red, to hold 26 numbers, for $1.00, postage prepaid. LUE PUBLISHING co., 19 Wert 310 a New j areca avery XE OLD CROW RYE STRAIGHT WHISKEY = BEE eomicbooks-com