Life — May 15, 1902 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Now You're Engaged. OW you're engaged to Dick, Marie, I wonder philosophically What fate will seize the tender score Of verse impassioned, rhymes galore ‘That wasted midnight oil for me. Perhaps you'll burn them—it may be You'll keep them, read them as before And yawn to find how poets bore, Now you're engaged. You will return them, probably. Well—so the others did, all three. Their primal freshness I'll restore, Insert a different name once more And post them to another She, Now you're engaged. Theodosia Garrison, The State of Man. AN born of woman is of few days and full of trouble, saith Job. Some think this is mostly because of woman being so dressy. Others blame man himself, and insist that if he would chew his food all would be well, Before the discovery of the germ theory we used to die Gallant Mr. Porcupine; Gxt om, sissy, DON'T BE BasUrUL, 1 WILL CARRY You across. of old age, liver complaint, etc. In these days we die of dyspepsia, suicide, and other ills incident to the hygienic dict. Of two evils, the older-fashioned is often preferable ; bat sometimes it seems not to make much of any difference either way. OOR Ananias! After all, he was only trying to save a little something from the missionaries ! Lessons in Politics. «« (DHE protective tariff, my son, is ultimately protective of labor; it is only proximately, or incidentally, protective of capital.”” “But, father, does not a high tariff encourage the forma- tion of trusts, which crush out the small concerns where labor is most remuneratively employed?” “Possibly, as regards manufacturing in the material sense.”” “ Does a tariff foster manufacturing in any other sense “To be sure. The manufacturing of annexation senti- ment in Cuba, for example. We have but to enact such a tariff that the Cubans mast submit to annexation or starve, and the manufacture of annexation sentiment is vastly accelerated."’ “Is this to the advantage of labor, father?’’ “It is, my son. Annexation will provide employment for many whose talents unfit them for any save public offices and who, but for annexation, would probably be idle.” ERTAIN tyros in public affairs are making much of the fact that the man who ruined his stomach eat- ing embalmed beef at Camp Alger is as deserving of a pen- sion as is the man who ruined his wind running away at Gettysburg or Antietam. Of course, it is not that the heroes of the Spanish war are undeserving, but that tho skulkers of the civil war are numerous. Almost any day you may find Congress passing a bill to correct somebody's military record. That shows how strong the skulker vote is. comicbooks.com