Life, 1902-05-01 · page 7 of 22
Life — May 1, 1902 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "A Flurry in Coronations" This satirical piece mocks diplomatic protocol surrounding coronations. The text describes a wanted ad for "neat, gentlemanly persons" to serve as envoys at a coronation ceremony, humorously suggesting the position requires training to "encounter unabashed" the "Gorgon glare" of royal authority. The cartoons depict comic chaos: figures in checkered clothing engage in slapstick mishaps—one swings a golf club wildly, another tumbles or falls. The caption "Got 'er again, not another drop will I ever touch" suggests drunken bungling. The satire targets the absurdity of formal diplomatic ceremonies and the often-inept individuals selected for ambassadorial roles. By naming specific envoys (Russell Sage, Chuck Connors), Life ridicules real or pretended diplomatic appointments as patronage rather than merit-based selections.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| UE RS MD “WELL, THAT LIQUOR 18 UP TO ITS OLD TRICKS. CAN'T TELL WHICH 18 THE RIGHT ONE, 80 LL SWIPE THE WHOLE BUNCH. A Flurry in Coronations. “ W ANTED—for our coronation depart- ment—neat, gentlemanly persons, who look well in knee-breeches and cocked hats, and have been trained to encounter unabashed the Gorgon glare of a fat, royal flunkey. Only those experienced in kings and high- class potentates need applv. State last line handled, Address John Hay, Manager, Washington, D. C.”” The foregoing ad reveals clearly enongh the present flurry in diplo- matic circles. For rumor whispers in hoarse, stage tones that the gorgeous affair at Westminster is by no means the only coronation to be pulled off in this year of grace and law and order leagues, . 1902. We have it from a trust- 2 worthy source that the Sultan of Sulu (who, though an integral part of Free America, yet retains a quasi-sovereignty) has set his heart upon eclipsing the ceremonial function of Albert Edward; and with the avowed purpose, therefore, of relegating that Most Christian King to a far rearward inconspicuousness, he has deter- mined to hold a special coronation on his tin-wedding anniversary that will far outshine the glitter of Ormus and of Ind. It is for this splendid affair, in fact, that the State Department is even now making elaborate preparations. As the Sultan is united to America by the tenderest ties of benevolent assimilation, it is eminently proper for the United States Government to send envoys, both pleni- potentiary and extraordinary, to grace his coronation. Indeed, it ‘3 a State secret that the members of such an “Got ‘EM AGAIN. NOT ANOTHER DROP WILL 1 EVER Tovcu.” embassy have been practically selected. They are as follows: RUssELL SaGr, Carriz Nation, Cuuck Connors,: —a most felicitous choice ; a triad distinctively American, and broadly representative of the varied phases of our national life. Mr. Sage’s name is a houschold word for the condensed milk of human kindness and open-handed, almost criminal, generosity. Mrs, Nation embodies the sweet spirit of domesticity and home-loving repose, baked to a turn under fierce Kansas suns. Mr. Connors, of course, will head tho delegation. Wherever the New York slanguage is spoken, his Chesterfieldian courtliness and superior fitness to stand in the palaces of kings will be loudly and blithely proclaimed. He is a born society leader and narrowly escaped being appointed equerry to Mrs, Astor, with official residence at Newport. Each envoy will be accompanied by a secretary, Though the secretarial slate is not yet folly made up, the fol- lowing list is not far out of the way : comicbooks.com