Life — May 1, 1902 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: ENNYSON was fond of relatinga story of how the Duke of Wellington, when a very old man and president of the privy once walked np from Downing Strect, instead of riding, as he usually did, When he came to a point op: posite Apsley House, the old soldier could not cross the rireet mi owing to the namber of carriages and han- that were whirling past. At last a well-dressed man recognized the duke in the crowd, and divining his trouble, went up to him and eaid : “Will your grace allow me the honor of escorting you he road ?"* hanks,” eaid the old hero, laconteally. ‘This was safely accomplished, and “Thanks,” eaid the duke again. But the patriotic Briton, standing uncovered, said : “My Lord Duke, this J# the proudest moment of my life. Iehall tell my children, and they shall tell their chil- dren, that f once had the distinguished honor of escorting across the street the hero of Waterloo." The old duke, with his aristocratic beak and military whisker, looking down at his effusive friend with his eagle glance, said dryly Now, don't forthwith vanished. ake a d—d fool of yourself,” and Argonaut. ‘Tue following story is told of Rudyard Kipling's ma- ternal grandfather, the Rev, George B. McDonald, a Wee leyan clergyman : It is related of this gentleman that in the daye when he was coarting the lady whom he afterwards married, the father-in-law to be—an aged Methodist with extremely strict notions in regard to the proprieties—was injudicious enough on one occasion to enter the parlor without giving any warning of his approach. ‘The consequence was that he found the sweethearts occupying a single chair. Deeply ehocked by this spectacle, the old man solemnly eaid: “Mr. McDonald, when I was courting Mrs, Brown she sat on one side of the room and I on the other." McDonald's reply was: “That's what I should have done if I had been courting Mrs. Brown."—Pilteburg Bulletin. A OENTLEMAN going down the river on a steamer, the engine of which was upon the deck, eauntered to eee the working of the machinery. Near him ptood a man appar- ently bent upon the same object. In a few moments @ squeaking noise wax heard on the opposite side of the Seizing an ofl can, a gigantic one, by the way, the en- ginecr eought oat the dry #pot, and to prevent further noise of that kind liberally applied the contents of the can to every joint. All went on well for a while, when the equeaking was heard in another direction. The oiling process wax rv peated, and quiet restored ; but as the engineer wax cominy quietly towards the «pot occupied by the gentleman and th stranger, he heard another equeak. This time, however, he detected the true canee of the difficulty. ‘The stranger was a ventriloquist Walking etraight up behind him, he seized the a toniehed joker by the nape of the neck, and emptied the contents of the can down his back. “There,” said he, “1 don't believe that engine will squeak again."—Erchange, Tux. late historian, Samnel Rawson Gardiner, used to ‘ay of Froude: “ Whenever I find myself particularly per- plexed on any point, I look to see what Froude has to ray about it, always find his help invaluable, for I can tru implicitly in his unfailing instinct for arriving at falxe con clusions ; and the more positive he becomes, the safer I feel in adopting a diametrically opposite view.""— Argonant, ly ilisu'tan Eastman, it isn'ta Kodak. Simplicity and Kodak film convenience that have made pocket photography possible. Not only does the Kodak go inside the pocket, but inside the Kodak goes the film—all becomes one compact, self- contained mechanism. Kodaks, $5 to $75. A new folding Kodak for the pocket —almost for the vest pocket, at $6.00. EASTMAN KODAK CO. Catalogue at th Rochester, N. Y. or by mat dealers $4000 im prizes for the best Kodak and Brownie Pictures, Underberg Boonekamp Bitters Mokes life o pleasure for oll sufferers fram lyspepaia. indigestion, or other stomach roubles. A he best bitters in the world. Founded 1846 Rheinberg Germony Sold Everywher. Beware of imitetions Improved BOSTON GARTER THE STANDARD FOR GENTLEMEN ALWAYS EASY “SRE The Name “Boston GARTER" Is stamped on every loop— The fe Lies flat to the leg—never Slips, Tears nor Unfastens THE “VELVET GRIP" PATENT HAS BEEN SUSTAINED BY THE U. S. CIRCUIT COURT) An answer to every movement made the body is found in the ‘action of President Suspender. All strain is relieved. No other suspender is built on the same principle as PRESIDENT SUSPENDER Fevery pair is guaranteed. Look for Preatdent™ on the buckles. Trimmings cannot rust. New model now ready for men of heavy work: also small size for Joathe, “The price te tor. If the nearest dealer can't tapply ron.eend ihe price direct to ue and receive & feof new’ design by nail postpaid. ¢. L. EDGABTOS MFG. CO., Box 278, Shirley, Hass. OLD CROW RYE STRAIGHT WH IS K EY SOLE H. B. KIRK & CO., BOTTLERS, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com