Life — April 17, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“PING PONG." The shades of night were falling fast As to the dining-room there passed A youthfal palr, who gayly bore A box, on which was this—no more— * Ping pong.” ‘They cleared the table with a swish, Prom dolly down to batter dish ; ‘Then through the centre stretched a net, And soon the ball the racquet met— Ping pong. “Try not the game I" the house-matd cried. “The dinner Is ready now,” she sighed, “ And [ mast pat ic on the board.” ‘The young man turned and dercely roared: “ Ping pong.” ‘The cook strode to the open door, And caationed them to cease once more. “The roast,” she urged, “1a sure to burn.” ‘The maiden gasped : “ I'm bound to learn “ Ping pong.” The family lurked in the halt, And moaned ; “ Are we to eat at all? Bat still they heard the ping and pong ‘That made the cadence of @ song— Ping poug. And back and forth they amote the ephere, Until the dawn of morning clear. The father mother, sisters, too, Walled hungrily : * Alas! we rue “ Plog poog . 8 One day the searchers, out of breath, Foutd all these people starved to death ; ‘The cook, the house-maid, beau and belle, ‘The family—and, sad to tel, Above them pinged the pongfal knell : “Ping pong!” ——Baltimore American, A CERTAIN pompous and oficious Judge tn a Western town had just fined a young lawyer ten dollars for con- tempt of court. After It ad been pald a grave old attorney walked up tothe bench and laid down a ten-dollar gold ple What {s that for?” asked the Judge. For contempt, your Honor," was the reply. “Bat 1 didn’t fue you for contempt,” answered the Judge. ‘There must be some mistake." “Oh, no; there isn’t,” replied the old man. “1 have cherished # secret contempt for this court for a long time, and I'm willing to pay for It."— Chicago Newe. A NERVOUS-LOOKING man came Into the grocery store with his baby on one arm and # cnal-oll can on the other. He placed the can on the counter, and sald gently : “Sit there a moment, deal Then holding the baby up to the dazed clerk, he added: “A gallon of kerosene tn this, please." —Philadelphia Times. “ $1R, you haf Insolted me!" “Sot How did I did itr’ “ You wrinkled your nose by me."* “Sot You mean like dot, und dot? “Scoundrel! Ve will fight. Vat ts your peesness “Dot's my peesness. Vat Ls your peesness ?" “Tam a Cherman lleutenant,"* “Lam sorry for de army "* “So? Und you vill fgnt yet? “Oh, I vill Aght ven you are retty." “ Vat is to be de veapons? Thaf my chotce, of course. ‘ot unless you choose pistols," Und vy do you brefer pistots?"* “ Pecause I am a patty gogt plstol shooter.” “Tse. Den I vill not hight you." “Ifyou do not fight und let me kill you I vill prand you as a coward.” “If you prand me as a coward I vill pall your nose right pefore your face." « You are as goot as 8 dead man,” “Tam vorth w tousand dead men, you goose-n monkey.”* “Himmel! You hat tnsoited de army, und ven soa insolt de army you Insolt de emperor '** “Go vay from me, you pinheadet spindlelecks.”" You are no chentlemen.”” Tam giatof It. vill see you later."* ck Great Britain. ‘The Inter- Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. Morton Trust Company 38 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK Capital, - - + $2,000,000 Surplus and Undivided Profits, $4,500,000 OFFICERS: LEVI P, MORTON, President THOMAS F. RYAN, Vice-President JAMES K. CORBIERE, 24 Vico-Prest. H. M. FRANCIS, Secretary EUGENE E. VARET, Asst. Secretary G. L. WILMERDING, Asst. Secretary H. B. BERRY, Trust Officer EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE : Levi P. Morton Joseph C. Hendrix ‘Thomas F. Ryan James N. Jarvie Edward J. Kerwind George Foster Peabody G. G, Haven cob HL. Sebitr William C. Whitney ESROPRAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue del'Opera, Paris, What Did It The perfection of quality in Hunter Whiskey is what struck the taste, appreciation and approbation of the American people The First Sought and The First Bought Wa. Lananax & Sox, Baltimore, Md. | MAKE FINE CLOTHES } Exclusively from Imported Fabrics If you live in New York, it will pay you to visit my shop. Ifa_noa-resident, you will do weil to deler the porchase of your finer garments until you can find time forun into the City. also make a specialty of Custom Shiets HIGH-CLASS TRADE ONLY, SOLICITED PRICES MODERATE Richard Bennett, Merchant Tailor 3 Evening Post Bullding, 206 Broadway, New York ay & 33d St., Manhattan Theatre “ver ror. Mr. Herbert AND: Miss Effie KELCEY SHANNON In HER LORD AND MASTER. BY MARTHA MORTON. Evenings, 8:20. Matinee Satarday Imported Spring Garments. Moiré Antique Taffeta, Etamine, Pongee and Broad Cloth Suits from the leading European makers. Covert Cloth Walking Coats, English Travelling Garments, Silk Train Coats. Broadway LH 1 916s. NEW YORK. Three 24-Hour Trains to Chicago Every Day NEW YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com