Life — March 27, 1902 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LITTLE GIRL PAID, ‘This little story is declared to be true, and we very much hope itis, It relates to Jacob Gruaim and rune: One of his prettiest tal 1s with the words * whocver refuses to believe this story owes me a thaler, One winter morning a little Jewish girl rang the door- bell and asked the eervant if Herr Professor Jacob Grnumm was at home, When informed that he was not, she said politely: we hand him this thaler when he retarns ‘The ecrvant took the coin, glanced at it curiously, and toquired who sent {t and what st was for, * Lowe him the money myself," said the ltde girL Why? What for?" “Because I don't believe the story about the wolf.” —The Book Lover. Nor so many years ago there was a veteran teacher tn the Boys’ High School, who often made his classes wince under the lash of his bitter sarcasm and ready wit. One day alitile, half-starved. yellow cur strayed tato the school, and the boys thought they saw a chance to express thelr feelings toward * Pussy,"* who was busy in another room, The frightened mongrel was picked up, quickly fitted with a pair of large wire spectacles, and placed on the teacher's chal. “Fussy entered the room, walked to bis desk, calmly surveyed the work of his pupils, and then, taruiog to them, pleasantly sald : In my absence, 1 see you have held a business meeting and elected one of your number chatrman.""—.lryonaute Fuatren: Your boy, I hear, is a deep student, Portry: He's always at the bottom of his class, If that's what you mean. — Philadelphia Record, DIRE ‘tux Republican spell-binder, the Hon, Jacob Kempler, late of West Virginia and of the United States custom eervice and tantly of the ** Amen corner" of the Fifth Avenue Motel, constantly entertains the statcemen about him with reminiscences of men and things which his friends admit be would be reluctant to accompany with afidavita, Colonel J. E. Jones, superintendent of the New York Aquarium, gen- erally has a tale of individual experience which he is willing to swap with Kempler for one of his. ‘The two had been ing this one recent evening, and at last the veracioas West ian, well pleased, eaid : Yolonel, you and I could etump this country and tell Hes that would be of constant amazement to our audiences, couldn't we wo could," replied Colonel Jones, * and I wouldn't have to say a word, either.""—Newo York Tlmes this supposition he promised each of the musicians in the orchestra a fine supper with wine “ad libitum" at the con clasion of the performance. ‘To his surprise and dismay the opera at {ts premldre was a complete tiasco and was all but hissed off the stage, After all was over he returned into the orchestra to col- lect come missing manuscript and found there (ecated one ry inusician—a trombone player. Well, my friend,” he inquired kindly, “what can I do for you ‘The musician looked at him earnest! tones of significant sincerity : “I liked it." —Short Stories, Former President Scott, of the Cincinnati Southern Railroad was greatly anuoyed, when he firet took bold of the road, by the claims for horses and cattle killed by trains voli and replied in on their way through Kentucky. It seemed as though jt ‘were not possible for a train to run north or south thro Kentucky without killing either a horee of a cow. And every animal killed, however ecrawny, ecrubby of miserable ttmay have been before the accident, always figared in the claims subsequently presented as of the best blood in Ken- tack: ** said Scott one day, after examining a clais don't know anytning that improves stock in Kentucky | crossing it with a locomotive."—Short Stories, Waew William R, Travers was in the directorate of 1 New York Central Railroad, Jay Gould was running the Erie in opposition, and his management of that ey trayed @ constant and intimate knowledge of what was . ‘on in the Central's bamber, Commodore Vanderbilt was, naturally, exasperated, and one day, after expressing how helpless he found himself to outwit bis rival, he tarned to Travers with the query: “Weil, Billy, how can we stop Gould from g knowledze of what wo are doing?" “Wew-wby,"* suggested the genial wit, *w. d-don't you m-m-make him a d-d-director of N. York C-C-Central"—Argonaut, Amnassapon Cnoate while retarning from a college doat race was approached by a fresh young student who in- troduced himeeif as the son of one of Mr. Choate’s oll frienda, ‘Tho youth was smoking a pipe, a blew great clouds of emoke into Mr, Choate's face, Ob serving that the Ambassador was looking rather eteadiy a pipe, the etudent eaid proudly: A birthday present.” replied the lawyer, witboat taking his eyes from the loud-emelling bowl, “I should never have thought yos were #0 old." —Schoolmaster, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. Ally That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. Noendl) Neckwear. Feather Boas. Embroideries. NEW YORK. Constable CCo. Real Laces. Honiton, Duchesse, Point Applique, Point Venise and Old Enelish Thread Lac Real Lace Flounces, Bridal Veils. Collars, Barbes, Stocks, Ruffs and Ruffllngs. Embroldered All Overs, Embroldered Robes. Handkerchiefs, Parasols and Gloves. (©THE NAME IS EVERYTHING.* Esterbrook on a pen is¢7 jan absolute guarantee of Bai Is exactly name i every pur stationers [[uave them. Accept no ¥substitute. —— SS FROM THE SEAT \ , AS IT LOOKS 3 4 i Complete Odometer for Horse Drawa Car- of drivieg by showing ‘Dar took. Ta ordering Odometers, Cyclometers, Counters and Fino Castings | | \ - To Let in London. For May, June, and July, in an open and fashionable situation, in the West End, Large, well-furnished house, containing five reception rooms, seventeen bed and dress- ing rooms. Electric light, Plate and linen, also good servants can be left, if required, wry MESSRS. ELSWORTH & KNIGHTON, [UBITION ROAD, LONDON, 6. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. “Werks, Camden, N.J. 26 John Strect, N.Y. CHEW BEEMAN’S THE ORIGINAL PEPSIN GUM Cures Indigestion and Sea-Sickness. AN. Others are Daitaties, and the West—NEW YORK CENTRA Best Line to Chicago comicbooks.com