Life — March 27, 1902 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TROUBLE. Cannot some wise one tell us, ‘To case our wondering min Who Is it loses all the fault ‘That other people find —Baltimore World. Axprew Canszore has composed his own epitaph. It reads: ‘Here lies a man who knew how to get aroand him men much cleverer than himself." Many a rich man could copy this epitaph, leaving out the “him,” —Philadelphia Ledger. Micars, J. Core, a New York policeman, saved five lives ata fire, He isn't likely, howover, to be regarded as half as much of a hero as he might have been if he had waved a flag romewhero and #hot a few men to death. —Chicago Record-Herald. PResentiy ft will be impossible for a man with whiskers and long hair to get an audience to hear his poetry, of listen to his philosophy. This will be a deadly blow to Joarneymen poets, philosophers, and lecturing ex-clergy- men, doctors and the like, whose entire charm and mesmzr- ism lurks in thelr halr, ‘The nest of the microbe has been found, Whiskers longer than an inch are now quarantined, Shortly legislation will prohibit by enactment public enter- talnments condacted by men who are at this moment the Anovr tho only thing left for Emperor William, In his efforts to gain American popalarity, {8 to come out for Schley.— Chicago Record-Heratd. Oxe of the Washington statesmen recently received @ letter from a constituent as follows : “Please send me eome of the volumes containing memorial addresses for dead members of Congress, There is nothing I read with so much pleasure as obituaries of Congreeamen,"—New York Tribune. GexenaL Wiiuiam T, Sizmwax was fond of relating the following story: “When Twas with the army in Georgia, a elave-owner about Christmas time missed a fine fat turkey, He suspected & good-looking mulatto, and ordered the man brought before him: “*You have stolen my turkey and eaten it,” sald the irate planter, “*T'se not gwine to say I didn't, when you eays I did, massa." “*Tought to have you flogged. What have you toeay why I should not panish yout’ “* Well, masea, you hain't lost anything particular. ‘You see, you has a little lees turkey, and a good deal more nigger.’ And the master was compelled to acknowledge the philosophy of the slave, and let him go unwhipped."* Rock ship and eplit in the eea— I'm child of the ocean gale, Shark and sword know me, I'm companion of the whale, Rock and dive and roll— ‘My cradle and echool is the deep, My bark’s my home, my goal— A grave where the nameless sleep, —Schoolmaster. “Dows in South Carolina," says Congressman Talbert, “T once attended a colored charch. ‘The preacher, one of those negroes with an oily face and big spectacles, was talk. ing about the prophets, Ie had taken an hour to discourse upon the major prophets, and then he took up the minor onea, In course of time he reached Hosea, “*My breddren,’ he exclaimed, ‘we come now to Hosea, Let us consider him, Where shall we put Hosea?" ‘At that moment an old negro, who had been peacefully slumbering in one of the back pews, woke up and looked at the pastor. ‘THosea can take my seat," ho said. ‘I'm so —— tired that Iam going home.*"—New York Tribune, Manx Twarn has added two new maxims to the world's already valaable collection. They are as follows: “We ought never todo wrong when people are look- Ing,” and No real gentleman will tell the naked trath ia very rivet and amazement of the times, —Schoolmaster, Argonaut, the presence of Iadies.""—Exchange. For aalo by all Newsdealers in Groat Britain. ‘Tho Inter- national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPEAN AGENTs—Messre. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Maris, “VIYELLA” Ideal sr Shirt Waist FLANNEL “VIYELLA” comes In the latest Spring designs and color combinations—Solid Colors, Stripes, Plalds, “VIYELLA” {s guaranteed to be unshrinkable, and after repeated washings retalns the same soft lustre. in tho heavy welgbt, is the most fashionable fabrio for Ladies’ and Gentlemen's Golf, Tennis and Boating Costumes Most desirable fabric for children’s wear on ‘account of its washing qualitics, “VIYELLA” is stamped on selvedge every five yards of each plece. Can be obtained at leading DRY GOODS STORES Avold Imitations. Refuse Substitutes. DOES NOT SHRINK (<P ES> ABIB WS BD ALR ABW Aes Fi é me q ost-acceptable FASTER GIFT 4 grance of the | g q -At alldepartment.and drug storesy BBP SDB EBBSDABSP SE SBR % 7 The nearest approach to the fra: natural flower. LATEST PERFUME : @\ : BRISE EMBAUMEE VIOLETTE An odor so natural as to be indistinguishable trom that of the living flower, The newest masterpiece of the perfumer’s art. In an original Baccarat crystal bottie con- taining two ounces, Price $4.00, Sold everywhere. : ED. PINAUD'S INPORTATION OFFICE, 46 East 14th St., New York comicbooks.com