Life — February 20, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 oaa 5 THE VACCINATOR. ‘When the doctor comes so softly With bis little kit of tools— Heaps and heaps of fuify cotton 5 Yards of bandages on spools ; Such alot of funny scrapers Little, tiny potnts of white ; Strips of baff adbesive plaster Which stick on 80 very tight ; Bottles Labeled * antiseptic "5 Bottles labeled not at all, And another bottle labeled Ordinary “alconol™ ; When the doctor very slyly, With no purpose to deceive, Says to you tn tones persuasive: “ Won't yon please roll np your sleeve?” ‘Then you know at once that you are up against the vac- cination craze.—Vaceination, ALAS I when Prince Henry visits us in New York the real priviieges of our life he will not enjoy, some of our deepest experiences he cannot enter upon, No haughty customs ofictal will take a plag of tobacco out of bis mouth, and after carefully storing it for fature use, dive Into Prince Henry's trunk, and rummage among bis linen and under- wear while the Prince stands by with the alr of @ convicted criminal, No viston of the beauty of Hoboken as seen from a ramshackle cab will burst upon Prince Henry's eyes at the moderate cost of five dollars to his hotel. Prince Henry will not be permitted to risk his life with the rest of us sarging ORS AT Wily mortals at the Brooklyn Bridge, nor will he be Javbed In the Hibs by a worn-out nervous street car conductor, and told to “Step lively," as he frantically makes his way amid a cllug- ing, surging throng of women, children, Italian workmen, and colored washerwomen, haoging on to the straps, and swaying to and fro as the car stops to permit six more to xqneeze on to the platform. Not for the Prince will be'the true delight of a luncheon at a counter on American ple, nor will he be permitted to find his way alovg the street amtd the expectorations of the common crowd. The true Joy of standing all,the way from Rector Street to Harlem on the ele vated road {s only thoroughly tasted by one who does so day after day, as the Prince can hardly be expected to do, What 1s even the likellhood of his becoming well acquatnted with the hideously desolate waste of brick, unrelleved by any pre- tence of beauty or even common cleaniiness, which men call Brooklyn? He mas, as a curtosity, be shown expurgated editions of our “yellow " Jonrnals, but the real article as we serve {t up to our youngest chiidren and falrest daughters can only delight us after we have become used to {t hy con- stant perusal ; the real Qavor Prince Henry will not get. For him there will be none of the delights of a “ bargain sale” at & great department store, with thousands of high-volced, pushing women tn the wildest adornment of extravagance without taste walking all over him as they rush the weary shop-girls for the things they do not bus. If the Prince 1s really to see America he ought to be Induced to take # trip on @ New England rallroad without a parlor.car. Ie should get an Idea of the comfort of American traveling as he creeps along from five o'clock in the morning until half-past two tn the afternoon to cover one hundred and fifty-three ni! without anything tu eat, In such a car he would really wy American life (and smell 11). Books and papers would piled up on bis knees. Bables would cry, chlldres «sc water alldown the alsle, as they helped themselves to 1, water and supplied their compantona, The fragrance of oranges, and peanuts would minister to his sense of sy while the train “hand” sweetly bawled the stations ta uy ear, and the conductor woke him whenever he napped panch his ticket, These things, agaln alas! Prince een will not see, but they are a large part of American lite, 1 will only gaze upon environment prepared for him. ty glitter of our gilded “four hundred” will dazzle hits eps ‘The barbaric splendor of the feudalism of wealth will te ts folded before him. Bathe will not really see America, deed, there are Americans who have really never seen the own land, and some of these are the very ones who wil py to persuade Prince Henry that he ts really exasr life and our land while he ts among us,—T7° I, tx Post. A LiTTLe Cambridge girl was discovered whisperic; » school, and the teacher asked : “What were you saying to the girl next to you whe canght you whispering?” The little culprit hung ber head for a moment, and tie replied: I was only telling her how nice you looked in your wt] Feo Well, that—yes—I know—but we must—the class | spelling will please stand up."—C&rletian Register. London, F, C., Eagiand, AGENTS. ECROPFAN AOENTS—Mesare. 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