Life — February 13, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

128 care- out pocket always a sign of emotion—I fully locked the door and threw the key of the window pw, You miserable low-down cur,” he said, with the sarcasm for which Pretty Steal was noted, “how dared you steal my ments out from under the mortgages of the widow and orphan? tene- How do you suppose sister will like a brother who does such rude t “ Merey ! Mercy!" at Cholly’s ried Willie, falling "t tell sister and I'll go away back—away off, I mean—and 5 fight the Boers. “ Fight the Boers 1" , Boer w exclaimed Cholly; nen and children; that’s Get out of he Willie took advantage of this’ pause in the conversation to leave the room b; of the fire-eseape. Chol me about your size way ly paced up and down the room a nent and then, unlocking the sale, took from a secret drawer three it pl his glass and his h: ing large pieces coat Having quickly eaten them e resumed its usual cold glitter nd its accustomed firmness. Seat- self at his desk he drafted this doc- ument: For one dollar to me in hand paid, T hereby assign to my beloved Kathleen, alias Bridget, all 1 . of whatsoever kind, both real and per= sonal. Cuantes Strat. “And now,” he exclaimed, Lurgundy’s and pie galore Cuarter 1V.—At Svzoxn Burovnpy's. As Cholly drove swiftly through the disrep- utable quarters of the town, he felt swelling within his veins the mad inspiration of the pie he had already eaten, The hectic flush on his cheek, and which was partly respon- sible for his being known as Pretty Steal, was hecticer than ever before. He had escaped for the time, perhaps forever, from Kath] arctic zone and littleV kleptomaniacal tendenc He was about to revel in Suzon's warm, but intellectual soci pie unli As usual Suzon's was crowded with river-men and habitants, all bitter and impassioned Methodists and Bap- tists, as well as expert cut-throats. As he stood at the counter and took his first piece of pie from Suzon’s freckled but shapely hands, the old recklessness seized him and he began in a deep basso-profundo voice the sweet melody of Gounod’s “Ave Maria.” ‘There was a discontented muttering among the m ither at the subject of the song or at Cholly’s bad singing. Suzon furtively hit Cholly in the back of the neck with rolling-pin, By this time Cholly was eating his eighth piece of pie and was thoroughly oblivious to Suzon's hint. He gradually n's , and pie—pie— VALENTINE changed his tun Mozart's Six-O'clock Mass in A flat. roused the anger of Rouge Gosling, a isman of the Methodist faction, Seein’ you can’t sing,” he sncered, “ per- haps you wouldn't mind givin’ us.a sermon.” “TL haven't the honor of your acquaint+ ” replicd Chol to the exquisite tones of This brawny his glass eye, which scemed to infuriate the men still more, In the meantime Suzon, always friendly to so good a customer as prudently armed herself with a pic- knife, a revolver and an axe. “ Men,” said Cholly, in his cool, critical voice, “why is it we are always tired? We go to bed tired, and most of us get up tired. Many of us are born tired, and many of us are too tired to work, Bicycles, automo- biles, even baby carriages are tired.” This last was too much for these simple- minded Christia Some one turned the electric light switch, and the room was in darkness. ‘There was a scuftle, a sound of blows, and when the police came in the men had disappeared and Suzon's body lay on the floor, stabbed to death with a piece of her own pie. Cholly Steal was nowhere to be seen. Cuarter V.—Tirk TRraxsrormation. About this time Portugee Joe was steer ing his dug-out down the swirling waters of the river, Habitant-like he was singing : Hoop-la! Ma belle Maryanne, Hoop-lal Ma belle Susananne, We'll always dance the gaie can-can, Vive la femme de chambre! Suddenly he ceased his song and peered into the dark waters. His instinct had not deceived him —it was a floater. Hauling the inanimate thing into the dug-out, he promptly and expertly went through its pockets. In each one he found a piece of pie carefully wrapped in oiled paper, and also found that the floater was alive After a moment Cholly Steal — for it was y ed his glass e with his silk handkerchief. A flood of recollection passed through the mind of Portugee Joe, and. he threw himself at Cholly’s feet and licked the pie-crambs from his patent-leathers. But Cholly gave no sign and gazed at Joe with the empty look of a little chee-ild. Joe took Cholly home with him, It was a bumble hut the woods, but here for weeks Joe tended him, and nursed him, and fed him on such rude delicacies as truffled paté,canvassed-back duck, terrapin and oy ter-crabs en brochetle, without Cholly's giv- ing a sign of consciousness or a tip to the waiter. It happened that one day the Rabbi of the nearby village, out on a hunting trip with his brother, a famous surgeon from Paris (Kentucky), stopped at Portugee's hut to bor- row his new gun, The surgeon at once be- came interested in Cholly’s case. He had no instruments with him, but skillfully util- ized Joe's auger, adze and whip-saw in tre- phining the patient. He removed several pounds of coagulated pie which was press- ing on Cholly's brain, and then neatly dressed the wound with the stripes from a flannel blanket. As he went away he assured Joe that the patient would soon be himself again, and lef with him a small packet addressed To the Sick Man at Portugee Joe’ Joe could not restrain his curiosity, and opening the packet found only a piece of paper, on which was written: *‘ Beware of pie! You may hand my brother one thou- sand dollars for my professional services. He will remit it to me.” Cuarter VI.—In Tur Foip. Rabbi Cohen was a fine old man. When Cholly recovered he secured him a place as man-of-all-work in his Uncle Levi's second- hand clothing store. Levi Cohen was aged comicbooks.com