Life — January 30, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

No, grandfather, we must not cross the highway fast yet “And why not, child?" + Because, grauifather, the safety gates have been ralsed at the turn # half-mile away, and the red ball ts up on the signal station on the hill." “Yes, Tsee. What does It mean?” “It means that an automobile 1s due and coming.” ut can’t we get across before It gets here?” ‘oton your life, grandfather. The last man who tried tt was thrown clear across yonder meadow and Into a green house, Look! There it goes!" “I saw nothing bat a whirl of yellow dust." “That was it, Come now, No, we must wait again, ‘The yellow fag 1s up tn the other direction, That meaus & race, There they go! See them?” “T saw nothing but more dust.” “They were too qnick for you, That was a bunch of millionaires, They get dreadfully reckless. Only yesterday we picked up what was left of one of them in our front yard, and there wasn't enough of him to fll a peck measure.” “Can't we cross now?" “Dear,no! All the yellow fags are up and all the red balls are up, and all the signal men are signalling. They are coming from both ways, If we have real good luck we may eee # collision, We get a commission at our house every time We report a collision to the Coroner." * But how will we get across ?? “T guess we will have to walk up to the covered bridge at the corner of the next block,"— Cleveland Plain Dealer. A GENTLEMAN in Lincotnshire, England, sent adead swan to the Athensum Club. addressed to the secretary. A special dinner was to occur that week, and the committee without question turned the bird over to the cook. At the dinner the swan, resting on a great silver dish, was a delight to the eye ; but when It came to carving and eating the bird, no knife seemed sharp enough to cut tt, and of course eating t was out of the question, A few days later the donor met the secretary and sald: “Lhope you got my swan all right.” “That waa a nico Joke you played on us," returned the secretary. “Joke? What do you mean?” “Why, we had the thing bolled for thirteen hours, and even then we might as well have tried to cut through the Rock of Gibraltar."” “ You don’t mean to say you had the swan cooked !'* “ Why, of course."* “Man allve!. 1 sent {t to be stuffed and preserved as a curfosity in the clab, That swan bas been in my family for . two handred and elghty years, It was one of the {dentical birds fed by the children of Charles I.—you’ve seen the picture of it, My ancestor held the post of ‘ master of the awans and keeper of the King’s cygnets," Well, I have no doubt tt was ‘ bit tough.""— Youth's Companion. Some Hartford visitors spent » few instructive days to Cologne last summer. Whoever goes to Cologne’ buys thé famous cologue water, It 1s’ sold 1n the bottles that we are accustomed to, and also in all sorts of queer-shaped recep- tacles, Among others that these visitors discovered was a sort of atomizer, and printed directions accompanted it. ‘These were in several languages, and our own was not neg- lected. One silp of paper, after some detalls not necessary to this narrative, added : “After having opened the closure above, you may pul verize the liquid by moving the flagon up and down."* But greater things than pulverizing a liquid remained, Another slip had the following : « INPORMATION. “The system of a usual hydraulle pump gives the baste to the refresher of a new construction, whose difficulties cousist particularly tn the fow tn of alr. * The solidity of mechanism prevents every refusal of tt, at the utmost atoms of a dispersed {mpure fluid can be Intro- daced tn tho most narrow tube. But they will be removed eastly, 1n picking with the thin added needle the rore opening As deep as possible, or in blowing through a current of uit for cleaning oppliation of the little tube." Hartford Courant. “BUT none of the other girls seem to admire my new dress. “Is that’so? Turn around. I didn't realize It was so pretty as that.""—Philadelphia Evening Bulletin, Tloax: Bjones complains because be can never keep a dog long. Juax : Why doesn’t he try a dachshund? —Philadelphia Record For salo by all NowsdoalerainGreat Britain. The Inter- pational News Company, Hream's Busiding, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPRAN AGENTS—Messre. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Ali! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO.,* Baltimore, Md. NEW YORK, Manhattan Theatre New York. HON.JOHN GRIGSBY with FRANK KEENAN, Evenings, 8:20, Mats. Wed. & Sat. 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