Life — January 30, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“18 THIS TUE ONLY FOOD KEMAINIXO?” “yrs, YOUR MasEsTY.”” “THEN, AS I DON'T PEEL NUNGRY, 1 THINK I MAD REST UUSBAND IT, SEND POR THs MIGM PRIEST.” T is understood that the statement attributed to Mrs. -- Roosevelt that she dresses on three hundred dollars a year, will be taken by Russell Sage asa text for a magazine article, in which he will show how extravagance among women in high life is one of the most potent influences against progress. Any woman who spends more than seventy-five cents a week is, according to Mr. Sage, unworthy of the White House. THERE WAS 4 YOUNO MAN PROM LACHINE, WHOSE LEGS WERE 80 LONG, LANK AND LEAN, THAT WHEN OUT FOR A RIDE, WITH 113 DOG BY UIs SIDE, HE PUT 1S KNEES WHERE 1118 FEET SHOULD HAVE BEEN. en Extracts from Our Mail. (Written by our office poet after going over the morning's letters.) “ AY, Lire, your judgment's out of gear! Why don’t you change your creed? Your politics from year to year Breed avarice and greed!” « For silly jokes you stand alone! And verse, forgive our jeers, I marvel that you dare to own The rot that blots your years!” “You snap and snarl and spit and bite! You hate and sneer and blame!" “Your weekly aim's to start a fight! You know not heart nor shame!" “* You praise the bad and dawn the just! Your path winds in the dark ! You fill your readers with disgust! You treasonable shark !"* “ Have my subscription cease to-day ! You mean, seditious sheet ! Iscorn the vulgar part you play! The discontent you bleat!”” “ Why don't you sponge your dirty slate And try to keep it clean? And bounce the gang that weekly prate In yellow, red and green!” The Monk and the College Girl. COLLEGE GIRL and a Monk once met on a desert island. The Monk gazed at the College Girl from behind a rock a long time before he ventured toapproach her. When he did so it was 5 some moments before he sum- minc moned up courage to speak. “Are youa woman?” he said at last. “Yes,” she replied, gra- ciously. “And you, if Iam not mistaken, are a man.” “'T suppose so,” he said, hesitatingly. “Ha !—Ha !—Ha!” burst- ing into hysterical laughter. ‘Then suppose you tow ina few of the finny, and as I've got some grub in this tin box, we'll have a spread, a picnic that will jar you.”” ‘“What makes you talk that odd way and laugh so wildly?" he asked, gravely. ‘ Allcollego girls dothat, It is said that men like frivolous women, and we wish to show that in mastering all other branches of knowledge we have not neglected the art of pleasing. Honestly now, what do you think of my frivolity?” The Monk was nothing if not conscientious. ‘Since you really seem to desire the higher criticism,” he returned, ‘‘I would say that it lacked both naturalness and spontaneity.’’ “Thank you," said the College Girl, warmly. ‘You could not have paid me a higher compliment and it is much appreciated. The aim of comicbooks.com