Life — January 23, 1902 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

68 end I do not always agree. We differ sometimes almost bitterly. But I am sure that Lirg is always honest and independent to an extent that is true of few journals. When we differ I let the broad mantle of my charity cover you. We. cannot all have the true light. Will you take my congratulations for the success, literar; artistic and financial, you have achieved ; and with them my very sincere wish for continued and increased prosperity, and— if it is possible—an even better Lire. Very truly yours, From Newnuryrort, Mass., Dee. 25, 1901. Dear Lire: By your issue of December 26th, I note a curious run on upper-case M's in your office—Masson, Martin, Miller, Metcalfe, Mitchell — Just how many ems wide is your office to contain this lot of M's—and, say, Lire, are they all “old body” ems? Remember me to "the boy.” Fit. HE Committee on Pulpit Supply had considered the applicant's taste in neckties and his wife’s social antecedents, and found them satis- factory. There remained only the question of his theology. “In theology,” reported the sub- committee appointed to look into this matter, ‘the applicant occupies safo middle ground. While he does not, on the one hand, hold that it is as hard for a rich man to enter the king- dom of heaven as it is fora camel to pass through the eye of a needle, he does not rush to the opposite extreme and teach that it is as easy fora rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven as it'is for him to keep out of jail.” The main question being put, it was voted to extend a call. "=m! =m, OP.R. Too Primitive. W Eres in The Aninats! Defender that at the October meeting of the American Humane Association in Batfalo, one of the dele- gates seized the opportunity to attack the antl- Vivisection position. We never could see Just how 8 vivisectiontst could fec! at home ina “hamane society.” How's reasoning belng can object to a horse being beaten on the street for the © benefit of humanity,” and endorse the cutting up alive ‘of the same animal in a botiding. and for the same purpose, remains an énigma to us. The only solution Lire can offer is that your real vivisector is probably annoyed by the unscientific and wasted effort displayed by the horse beater. Sach a process would not usually mect the disapproval of a man in the constant habit of causing infinitely greater pain with far less effort. LIFE : At Home. At home to-night, alone with Dot, 1 loaf my soul and care not what In worlds beyond may come or go. Four walls, a roof, to brave the snow, Suffice to bound this Eden-spot. Dot has her sewing things ; I've got My pipe, a glass of something hot, And Dot herself—the world’s aglow At home to-night. As lovers in some golden plot The poet weaves of Camelot, We feel apart from carth. We know ‘The servant in the hall below Will tell whoever calls we're not At home to-night, JA, Daly. Life’s Anecdote Contest. $277Many ‘contribations to thts contest have heen rejected because they did not comply with the conditions, which will be found in our adver. Using pages. It should be borne in mind by contestants that anecdotes already famillar to the reading public are not desirable ‘Tue more humor there ts fa each anecdote the more likely 1t will be to have a place in this department, NeMwer 16. 6S Q)NE of the fercest agitations which ever swept over Ireland was that to the early Tairties for the abolition of the tithes pald to the clergy of the Fstablished Church The tithe- proctors—the men who cotlected the tmpost, or, tn default cf payment, seized the stock of the Catholle peasants—were objects of intense popu- lar hatred. As an old, simple priest sat in the contesstonal of a country chapel, awaiting pent- tents, a rough south entered to confess his sins. What be had to relate to the priest was very sangulpary indeed, + Four murders :* exctalmed the good father, {n horror, + Now, will se have me belleve ye're been killin’ all yer famtly?* yer riverence, they wasn't me own flest and blood at all,’ sald the penitent, ‘And who was they, thin?* inquired the confessor. + Well, Father, they wor tithe-proctors.' ‘Tithe-proctors: ts {t ye say?” exclaimed the priest. ‘Now, why didn't ye tell me that at frat, and not to be takin’ up me time that way? Get out of here! Ye don't come here to goasip, but to confess yer etn: From “Irish Life and Character.” Thomas Whittaker, New York, 1890, Nowper 17. Somebody asked the Baron to take venison. Xo," sald the Baron, ‘1 never eatsh wenshon ; T don’t think tt ish so cootash mutton.” Oh I" sald the Baron’s friend, “I wonder at your say- ing so; 1f mutton were not better than venison, why does venison cost so much more?" “ Vy ?"* Teplied the Baron, ‘1 will tell yon vy—in dish world de peeples alvaysh prefers vat Ish deer to vat Ish sheep.” This {8 called by some a Jew de mots, and by others a jew d'esprit. From “Life and Remains of Theodore Hook * (vol, 2 p. 268). Richard Bentley, London, 1819. Nowe 18. One day, Mackintosh, having vexed bim by calling O'Coigly “a rascal," Parr immediately rejoined, ++ Yes, Jamie, he was a bad man, but he might have been worse ; he was an Irishman, but he might have been a Scotchman ; he was a priest, but he might have been a lawyer; he was s republican, bat he might have been an apostate." From Recollections of the Table Talk of Samuet Rogers” (p. 48). D. Appleton and Company, New York, 1858. Nemper 19. One of the eccentricities of that most penurlous of pedagogues, Dr Barrett, was that he hardiy ever appeared outside the walls of Trinity College, conducting hls modest ménage there with the help of a decrepit old housekeeper, who attended to all bis wants, even to datly fetching from a near-by dairy the ha‘f-pennyworth of milk needed In the establishment, When one frosty morning, Mary, gotng on this errand, slipped and broke her leg, the worthy doctor for the first time In sears left the college to pay her ‘8 visit in the hospital. On reaching her cot, it ip SUBMARINE MILITARY TYPES. THE ARM-T OCTOPUS. comicbooks.com