Life — December 19, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Farewell the job of boss! farewell the graft! Farewell th That made me what Ihave been! O, farewell ! Farewell the dens of vice that filled my purse, ‘The house disorderly, the wine-room vile, And other J Pride, pomp, and circumstance of Croker's graft! And, oh, you Tiger, whose ensanguined maw The anctent dragon's foul breath Farewell! I'm off for Europe and my moat | “Good afternoon, Lady Mickleham,” I remarked, to myself at my c may, absently putting forward the hands of the onyx “Then we'd better come to business. What*is your — It back."* object in calling so regularly? You've been at It now for a “have brought It back,” sald the customer, In evident longer time than I care to mention, Now— embarrassment, “1 guess I must be going,” 1 remarked with gracefal CROKER'S SOLILOQUY, finesse, and reached for my bat ; ‘on the door and put her foot through it, with a touch of frm- ness, as I thought. “Ita no use, Mr. Carter,” she went on, “Mrs. Hilary knows everything about us.” “Then she knows @ great deal more than you or I or any 0, now, forever eyed cinch, and the big mitt, nts too hideous for print, nterfelts | Chicago Tribune kissing me, A "JOLLY" DIALOGUE —BY AINTANY HOPE. verne sold me not to shrink? can’t think of one bad enough,’* 1 responded in dis- Wut Dolly smilingly placed tt of our readers,” remark at last “You know she passed us in ber automobile S: sald Dolly, pensively plucking the fur from the kitten’ : Ullary,” 1 replied tmpressively, capturing the kitten, “Mrs, Hilary knows nothing. half what she tells wiil tell all “On, you delightful cynic!" erted Dolls, admiringly, “+ And we'll have dear old Dr, Feebly to perform the ceremony, won't we?” smiling: n my sudden agitation I dropped the kitten down the . back of my neck “Is that all you have to say?” answered Dolly, gracefully swinging the kitten by ts tall “Te got to start the conversation somehow," I replied quickly, casting about for an epigram. “Yes, but you ought to say something really bright, you . Here we're half down the page and haven't & ton-mot toourcredit. Come! Make a pun if you can't do anything “TL TaovouT you guaranteed that suit of underwear you sald the customer, who entered the store und stood In a somewhat cramped attitude. Ke “1 did,” repited the merchant; suid I, greatly relleved to have made a witty “Mrs A woman who knows “Now gou've done it!” satd Dolly, pouting. lost the only means we bud of fiillag up the gaps tn the con- We'll have to end the chapter.” Seeing the force of her observation, I rushed to the club. —Hareard Lampoon. versation, “if it sbrioks bring but I got caught out in the rato and can’t get It off."— Ohio State Journal. ON GIRLS. “Girls are very stuckup and dignefed in thelr manner and bebavesour, They think more of dress than anything and like to play with dowls and rigs. They cry if they see a cow In afar distance and are afraid of guns. They stay at home ail the time and go to Church every Sunday. ‘They are always sick. They are al.ways fany and making fun of boys hands and they say how dirty. They cart play marbels I pity them poor things. They make fun of boys and then turn round and love them, I dont beleave they ever kiled x cat or any thing. They look out every nite and say oh ant the moon lovely, Thir ts one thing 1 have not told and that 1s they al-ways now their lessons bettern boys. —From English as She Is Taught, by Caroline B. Le Row. To confuse ® witness is generally an easy task, and lawyers know no easter way than to make a witness explain the meaning of his words, Knowing that very few people can do so without getting excited. Occastonally a victim reseuts this nagging, and answers In a spirited and unexpected manner. A lawyer was cross-examining @ young girl of rather haughty temper. She had testified that she bad seen the defendant “shy” a book at the plaintid, and the lawyer had seized on the word, “ Shy—shy 8 book? What do you mean by that? Will you explain to the Court what the word *shy* means?" The girileaned over the desk beneath the witness.box, picked up & law book and threw it at the lawyer's bead, who dodged just tn time “1 think the Court now understands the meaning of the word ‘shy,’ sald the Judge, gravely, and the girl was allowed to fish her testimony without farther interruption. Exchange. Britain. The Inter- ting, Chancery Lane, For sale by all News#ealers in Gi am's Bu ECROPRAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue del'Opera, Paria. " Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. oenol) Constable Co || Esterbrook Real Laces fan absolute Insh Crochet Laces, Allovers and Galons to mateb. Spangled Robes, Point Lace Scurts, Lace Handkerchiefs, Lace Fans, Spanish Scarfs and F Ostrich Feather Boas. pen Beaded Fronts. French Ruffs and Muffs. ‘Band-made Crépe Stocks. All Broadway B&B 19tb ot. i ave them. Duchesse and its excellence ESTE ichus. 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