Life — December 12, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LAY OF ANCIENT ROME. Ob! the Roman was a rogu He erat, was, you bettum ; He ran his automobilis And smoked his clgarettum ; He wore a diamond studibus, An nt cravattum, A maxima cum laude shirt, And such @ stylish hattum! He loved the lusctous bic hwe-hock, And bet on games and equi ; At times he won; at others, tho, He got It in the nequt ; He winked (quo usque tandem?) At puellas on the Forum. And sometimes even made Those goo-goo oculorum | He frequently was seen At combats gladiatorial, And ate enough to feed Ten boarders at Memortal ; He often went on sprees, And said, on starting homns, “ Hic labor —opas est, Ob, where’s my—hic—bic—domus ?"” Altho he lived in Rome— Of all the arts the middte— He was (excuse the prase) A horrid individ) ; Ab I what a di(rrent thing Was the homo (dative, hominy) Of faraway B.C. From us of Anno Domini. —Hareard Lampoon. Tuk Dublin gallery boy was always a source of terror to the actors, aud many are the stories told of the quaint sug- gestions hurled by the gamins to the stage below. Chanibers's Journal contributes twoamusing incidents in the professtonal carecr of Charles Fechter. On one occasion, in ® melodrama, the tragedian was slowly paying over a sum of money tothe villain, Eversthing depended on whether he had suficient money for the purpose, and the paying out was most deliberate—so deliberate Indeed that a boy In the gallery, wearying of the sceue, enlivened the proceedings by shouting : ¥. Mr Fechter, give him a check 1" On another occaston, when tbe pliy was “ Monte Cristo,” the hour twelve-thirty and the end not yet in sight, the cur- tato rose, discovering Fechter in an attitude of contemplation. Nota movement, not a sound broke the silence. Suddenly » small but clear voice tu the gallery remarked, in tones of anxiety: “ Thope we are not keeping you up, sir."— Exchange A Poor couple living in the Emeratd csle went to the priest for marriage, and were met with # demand for the marriage fee, It was not forthcoming. Both the cobsenting Parties were rich in love and {n their prospects, bat destitute Of Ouauctal resources. The father was obdurate, “No money, no marriage.”* “Give me lave, your riverence,” said the blushing bride, “to go get the money.” It was given, and she sped forth on the delicate mission of raising a inarriage fee out of pure nothing. After a short interval she returned with the sum of money, and the cere- mony was completed to the satisfaction of all, Wheu the parting was taking place the newly-made wife seemed a littie uneasy, * Ansthing on your mind, Catherine?” sald the father. Well, your riverence, I wonld like to know tf this ma rage could uot be spotled now t** Certainly not, Catherine. No man can pat you astader, “Could you not do It yerself, father? Could you wot spc the marriage? “No, no, Catherine, You are past me now. I have nothicg more to do with your marriage.” “That alses me mind,” std Catherine, “and God ties your riverence, There's the ticket for your hat, I pick tt up tn the lobby and pawned It "—Chicago Journal. Goce L. Fox, rector of a preparatory school ir Haven, who was here at the Teachers’ Convention, HMustrae a point he wished to make with a Boston story that may te tnteresting. The scene 1s well off Minot's Light, at break ¢ day, on ® foggy morning. Ax the fog begins to litt, 1] vessels discover themselves within hailing distance, one sloop, the other a big square rigger. The captain of th small boat halls : “+ A-ho-o-y, w-o-o-y | What ship ts that?” Reindeer, Captain Jones. Calcutta to Boston.” “How long ye been out?” One hundred and fourteen da} Then the big fellow hailed: “Anoo-y, a-ho-o-y! on board sloop! that “ Buster, Captain Smitt, Gloucester to Boston."* “+ How long ye been out?” “Add night.” ton Herald. What ship i ‘Two men tn London were discussing acertaln novelist She'sa wonderful writer,” sald one. Yes."* replied the other, “the mystery to me Is wher she gets her marveious lack of knowledge of life” New York Tribune. For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The Inter- Rational News Company, Dream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPEAN AGENTS—Messra Brentano, 37 Avenue de lOpera, Paris, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! Singled Out. The only one of a kind and the best is the unique status of Hunter Baltimore Rye as indicated by its immense popularity. THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md Wx. Laxauan & Son, Baltimore, Md. NOW READY Ghe Chri Oe Cantons LIRE! MANDSOMELY LiTHOGRAPHED COVER INCOLORS #% By WM. D. L. DODGE “SPIRIT OF NIAGARA”) “4& Revie Pan-American S Poster A FINECHRISTMAS GIFT Price, $1.00 per Copy. Postpaid Only a small quantity remaining and no more will be printed, the plates having ??sr/9™. 1900, by Lye Publishing Co, been destroyed. THE GOFF CO., 910 Mutual Life Building, Buffalo, N. Y. SPECIAL » CARTOONS By C. D. GIBSON “ / The $200 PRIZE STOR ob “MISS GAY'S DIPLOMACY "—By Kate Jordan Poems, Stories and Pictures by LIFE’S Clever Sta! of Contributors The number is printed on heavy paper in tho best style known to the typographie art, and both pictures and letter press are up to “LIFE’S” usual standard | PRICE, 25 CENTS comicbooks.com