Life — December 2, 1901 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE WISE MAN AND THE HORSE SHOW. ‘There was a man in our town Whose, wisdo He mastered problems out-of-hand, However deep or dense, 1 was immense 5 ‘They got a horse show up one week, And wanted bim to go; His friends had boxes, bi ‘To buy a ticket, though. leclined Night after night h od ou And watched the ladies fair Pass through the entrance and at last Again emerge from there. ‘They asked him why he acted thus, And he rep You see I never pay for eecing ‘That I may look at fre — Chicago Record-Heraid. Boston Doctor; I think, madam, that your daughter's brain has been overtaxed, You must take her to some place where there will be no temptation to serious thought, study of even reflection. Mus. De Henn: Very well; your advice shall be fol- lowed, We will go to New York.—New York Weekly. He (ata sell restaurant): You may have anything on the bill-of-fare, dearest, Shall T read it to you? No, darling. Just read it to the waiter. MLLy THE WOMAN WHO WAS NOT ATHLETIC. There was once a Woman who wore High-heeled Shoes and aTight Corset. Both There are Highly Injarions and Inartistic to the Last Degree. One Day she Went out to the Links with a Sensible Friend who wore a Sweater and Man- Met two Men playing Golf. “1 Fear I shall only Be in your Way,” sald the Woman fot Athletic. * I Can Not Play the Game at all. 1 ‘ot Know a Caddy from a Bunker, nor a Foursome from a Tee.” “Not at all the Me “Oh, Thank you, bat One will be Quite Enou rhe replicd, and she Selected the Best-looking, and the Other Went ont after the Sensible Friend, May I Carry your Parasol?" Started. £ you will Be #0 Good,” she answered. * It is very Fool- ish, I know, but my Skin is 60 Absurdly Thin, and the Sun Blisters it #0." sible Friend came up just Behind, and Mopping her Face, "You are too Ridiculous, A Rose- colored Parasol on the Links! You are keeping Him from playing, too, He will get Out of Practice." “Ob, I Hope not,” said the Woman who wa: etic, “Do not be Alarmed,” said the man, “It is All Right." “Moreover, I saw him Help you Over a Fence, the Sensible Friend, as ehe Waded through a Maddy Brook. “That Game ia Oat of Date. ‘The Woman who was Not Athictic looked Pensively who was I will Describe the Game to You,” said said he when they had fot Ath- he said, softly. Go Home, and then You can Play. “Bat then You could Not Learn the Game," esid i, Sitting down under a Kind of Artificial Watersbed snd Watching the Rose-colored Reflection of ber Parasol, “Ts this a Bunker," she asked, “Yea,” he replied ; ‘* Its Purpose is to shield 1 Who wish to be Alone from Observation.” Oh 1" said she, Then What is a Hazard?" “Well” he replied, “This is someti Hazard, too, becanse There is a Chance that Some o: Come By after all.” “Oh!” said the, ‘Then over That Wall Bebind th Big Rock is one of the Best Bunkers on the Links, isn't it “It ts, indeed,” he replied, “You Pick Up the Ga very Rapidly. Come over There, and I will Explain it F ther to You.” * You are #0 Good," sho eaid, as he Lifted her Over the Wail. * Not et All,” he replied, Politely. Some Time Afterward the Sensible Friend, who was Engaged in Wallowing Throngh eome Underbrush and Fa ing into a Pond in Scarch of her Ball, Passed by Them the Return Course, and Seeing them Seated agains: the Wall, noted their somewhat Unoriginal Attitudes, Sbe was surprised, ‘This teaches us that You necd Not Teach an Old Doz New Tricks.— From Josephine Dodge Daskam's* Fathes for the Fair,” published by Charles Scribner's Sons. “ Wito is the hero of this piece? asked the man «ho was coming out of the theatre. And the manager thoughtfully replied: “The man who —Chicago News. and for Some Time at the Man, is putting up the money."— Washington Star. cheon SILK WAIST. This waist is made of Imperial Silk of a soft, heavy, durable quality and ‘shows ‘the full blouse effect, with tucked yoke (front and back); tucked sleeves and narrow, pointed, turned- over cuffs. It is lined to the bust and has a silk stock attached, Made in all the fashionable shades. A very large assortment of Waists in French and Scotch Flannel and other Fancy Waist Cloths suitable for Fall and Winter wear at $4.co to $12.00, We mention particularly our Special $5.00 Flannel Waist. It is made of pure wool Rotany Flannel and is exceptional value. Sizes, 32 to 42 inches, Waists to Order. We call especial attention to our Custom Waist Depart- ment. High-grade Shirt Waists of all kinds made to order promptly, RAY § [ANMAN's No sweeter or more acceptable CHRISTMAS BOX can be suggested than a box of the genuine Murray & Lanman’s FLORIDA WATER Delightful for the HANDKERCHIEF, TOILET and BATH. Most refreshing after Shaving. Holiday Handkerchiefs. Hundreds of different styles are now shown in plain hemstitched, lace, embroidered, and initialed handkerchiefs suitable for Holiday Gifts. Prices, 25 cents to $75 each. MAIL ORDERS WILL HAVE PROMPT ATTENTION. Back view of Silk Waist, JAMES McCUTCHEON & CoO., 1 FOURTEEN WEST TW TY-THIRD STREET, NEW YORK.