Life — November 14, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN old woman entered & savings bank the other day and walked up to the desk. do you want to withdraw or deposit? " asked the clerk. “Naw, Ot doant. Of wants to put some tn,” was the reply. The clerk pushed up the book for her signature and sald: “Sign on this line, ptease."" “ Above It or below It? jast above ft."* “Me whole name?” “Yes.” Before Ol was marrte . Just as it ls now. “Ot can't wrolte."— Cambridge Tribune. TueRe. Is, 10 @ certaln town of Massachusetts, a theatre ballt directly over a canal, The draught which biows from this waterway up (othe stage Is the cause of many # sore throat and aching tooth, Mr. Joseph Haworth, the eminent player now with us for so short # time, was gividg * Hamlet" In this breezy structure, and everything went well until the graveyard scene. The Queen, in # nasa: tone, sald + Sweeds do the sweed,”” and threw her paper flowers into the grave, The next moment the audience was convulsed with laughter, for the roses, Instead of falling where they belonged, were lifted straight {nto the alr by the draught coming from the grave. “That breeze from the lower regions certaluly made & hit,” sald Mr. Maworth.— News Letter. “Pa, what's the first requtalte of a patriot?” “That he belong to our party.” —Chicago Record-Herald. For salo by all Newadeaters tn G national News Company, [1 London, fC, England, AGENTS eat Britain. The Inter- 's Busiding, Chancery Lane, T SERS AT Nally Some years ago, when Booker T. Washington went to Alabama, the colored people were taking considerable tuter- est {a politics, and they were very anxious that he should become one of them politically, One man, who seemed to have been designed by the others to look after Washington's polttical inclinations, came to him on several occastons and sald, with a good deal of earnestness + We want you to-be sure to vote Jes' like we votes. We can’t read de newspapers very much, but we knows bow to vote, an’ we wants you to vote Jes’ like we votes.” He added “We watches de white man, an‘ we keeps watching de white man till we finds out which way de white man's gwine to vote; an’ hen we fads ont which way de white man’s gwine to vote, den we votes *xactly de other way. Den we knows we's rght."— Exchange. AS the dally train reached a Vermont village the other day, an antique-looking dame thrust her head out of the wiudow opposite the refreshment room and briefly shouted : “Sonny 1” A bright-looking boy came up to the window. “ Little boy,"" she said, “have you a mother?” Yes, ms'am.”* “Do you go to school ?"* “Yes, ma'am,” And are you faithful to your studies ?* Yes, ma‘am,"* “Do you say your prayers every night?” Yes, ma‘am. ‘Can [trast you to do an errand for me?" “Yes, rs'am.” “T think I can, too,” said the lady, looking steady dows. on the manly face. “Here is five cents to get me x1 appie Remember, God sees you.""—Loston Courter. Fresit from @ reading of Mr. Bram Stoker's “ Draccia,” Andrew Lang Insists that “ the rules of the game of Vampire ought to be printed 1a an appendl. out, the leading rules are as follows (1) Every vampire, all day, mast He tn ‘consecrate, ground. He can be stumped when in bis ground, not wea out of It, (2.) All day a vampire ts off-side. (3) No vamptre may enter house aninvited, (4) No vampire may cross salt water, except at ets tide and full tide. (3) Every person bitten bya vampire becomes a vampire. (This rule strikes at the root of morality.) (6.) No vampire can vamp a person protected by garite (The peasantry of Southern Europe always smell of gar, perhaps as security against vampires.) (7) A vampire staked through the beart with sts» plece of wood, Is out. (8) Every man should stake his own young woman if te 1s « vampire.— Exchange. CoARLEY, dear," sald young Mra, Torkins,*' there iscxe favor L want to ask you, I hope you will realize It ts for your ‘own good and not get angry.” What is it?" +1 want you to solemnly promise me that you will never bet on a horse that tsn't going to win.” Washington Stor. ECROPRAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brent. 37 Avenue de Opera, Paris, a Established WILSON WHISKEY. 1823. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Raltimore, Ma Bway & Manhattan Theatre "Maven. MRS FISKE and her company tn MIRANDA 52 ddiy Every Evening at 8:20. Saturday Matinee at 2:15, Perfect Ageing, Perfect Purity, Perfect Flavor combine to make Hunter Baltimore Rye The Charm ‘of Hospitality and the tonicrof-health, Wa. Laxanan & Son, Baltimore, Md. Cede, Women’s Wear. Faced Cloths in the new Fall Shades. Zebelines and Fancy Mixed Suitings, Venetian and Cheviot mixtures, Golf and Riding-habit Cloths. Rroadovay KH 19tb oi. NEW YORK. WHITMAN'S Instantaneous Chocolate. Made na minute with bolling mux, STEPHEN P. WHITHAS & SOX, 1816 Chestnet St, Phila, Eutadiiaded 1842. All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. If you wish to know the truth, send for “How and Why,” txsued by the PEexn McrvaL Lire, 921-35 Chestnat Street, Philadelphia, comicbooks.com