Life, 1901-10-31 · page 9 of 20
Life — October 31, 1901 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Three Baers Came Back" - Life Magazine This is a humorous story titled "Life's Nursery Tales: The Three Baers," a parody of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The narrative and illustration satirize middle-class domestic life through the familiar fairy tale framework. The joke centers on a young woman named Goldie Locke who disrupts the Baer family's home during their absence, but the social satire becomes clear: the family discovers she's been "stealing" their possessions—carpet, furniture, pictures, food, and household goods. Rather than depicting a fairy-tale intrusion, the story mocks contemporary concerns about theft, working-class anxieties about property, and perhaps social climbing or class anxiety among the urban middle class. The exaggerated German surnames and domestic details suggest this reflects turn-of-the-century American immigrant household concerns.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life’s Nursery Tales. THE THREE BAERS NCE upon a time there was a lovely young girl named Goldie Locke, who lived with her mother in a beauti- fulhome not far from the Slums. Now, Goldie’s mamma had told her never to ar the Slums, but Goldie, know- ing that other girls of her sct emanated gracious influences there, decided that her mother must be behind the times. LIFE tacked the living room. She took up the carpet, stained the floor and put down a Japanese matting. Shechanged tho red plush chairs for simple willow ones, artistic and easily cleaned. Then she took down the family crayons and their drapes, the marriage certificate and chromos, and substituted carbon prints from the works of Raphael, Sargent and Burne-Jones. In the kitchen she put away the ‘TRE THRER BAERS CAMT, BACK. She longed for the strenuous life, and, believing that she possessed the social gift, she set ont one day for personal contact with the defective personalities of her less favored neighbors. She was assigned toa family of three, Mr. Baer, Mrs. Baer and the little Baer. They had gone on a Fresh Air outing and she was to make their tenement ready for their return. First she at- frankfarters, beer and pretzels that some neighbor had brought in, and spreading a snowy cloth, she set outa dainty and nutritious meal of shredded wheat, brown bread and apples, with glasses of clear, cold water. Next she attacked the bedroom. Sho threw the window wide open and spread the bedding to air. With an exclamation of horror she pulled off 349 the feather beds, and as there was no time to dispose of them, she stuffed them under the bedsteads. Then she threw herself down for a moment to think out a German sentence giving a simple explanation of the germ theory. Shortly after this the three Baers came back from their Fresh Air cried Mr. Baer, as they climbed the stairs, “how homelike it smells, not !’" “Now,” said Mrs. Baer, * we shall be with nice people and live as we like.” “Only,” asked the little Baer,‘where is everybody?” For the neighbors had been frightened away. With a sigh of relief Mr. Baer opened the door and threw his vast frame into the nearest chair. It swayed and creaked beneath him, and the big Baer thandered, ‘* Who's been stealing my chair?" And the middle-sized Baer said, “Who's been stealing my carpet ?’’ And the little Baer said, * Who's been stealing my picture and all our pretty things?”’ Then they went into the kitchen and sat down very hungry at the table. Mr. Baer said, “ Who’s been stealing my beer?’’ and Mrs.’Baer said, ‘* Who's been stealing my sausage?" and the little Baer said, Who's been eating my pretzel and leaving me hay instead?" Then they went into the bedroom, and Mr. Baer said, Who's been open- ing my window?” and Mrs. Baer said, ‘* Who's been airing my sheets?" and the little Baer said, ‘‘ Who's been steal- ing my feather bed? And here she is now.” Goldie Locke awoke with a start. Three torrents of German stopped her own. She rushed for the door and flew down the stairs, just in time to escape the feather bed, and ran home as fast as she could, and she promised her mother never, never to emanate another gracious influence. Katherine L. Mead. Vicarious. ANAGER (of agency): If you accept this situation, you must agree to take the place of the mother. Norse : Isn't the mother alive? “Yes, but she’s a social success."” comicbooks.com