Life — October 24, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“My dear,” whispered the young man, “as we are 80 soon to be married, we should take # practical view of life and profit by the mistakes of others, For Instance, there 1s the sutject of @ regular allowance every week for spending money, you know.” “Oh, I've thought of that,” she replied, sweetly. “Mave your “Yes, indeed. Hundreds and hundreds of times, and lately I haven't thought of much eise.”” “Yes. Your income 1s four thonsand dollara, isn't 1? + Yes, and I want it to go as far as possible towards your happiness." “Of course, Well, I've talked it over with mamma, and she thinks an allowance of five dollars a week will be ple “Indeed 1" “On, yes. You can walk to the office, yon know, and carry your lunch, you know, aud so you can use the whole five for cigars and neckties and things.” —Pittsburg Bulletin. Ix @ saloon In Chicago, the late Eugene Field once an- nounced to bis friends that he was broke—a fact which did not surprise them, as he was generally “hard up.” There happened to be # hanger-on In the crowd, one of those whose considerable ambition 18 to say they have shaken hands and touched glasses with a celebrity. Calllng the poet to one side, he sald: w I hope you'll take no offence, but I understood you to say you had run short of money. If that Is true, I would be giad to oblige you with a ten.” “How dare you,” snapped Fleld, affecting great indig- natton ; “I don't even know your name.”* “Beg your pardon # thousand times,” responded the t Britain. The Inter- idling, Chancery Lane, rato by all Newsdent national News Company, Tandoa, lands AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Ci Baltimore, Md. T SCISSORS Av NvLLy other ; “ I meant no offence, I assure you. I thought maybe you might be able to use the money, Please forget 1t."" Field was silent for « moment, as tf In deep thought, and then slowly drawied : “Forget it! All right, I will, on one condition.” “On what condition? * “On condition that you make It fifteen.""—Argonaut. Donne the battle of Shiloh an officer hurrtedly rode up to an aide and inquired for Grant, “That's the man, with the fleld-giass,” sald the aide. Wheeling bis horse about, the stranger rode fariously at the General, and touching his cap, addressed him thus : “Sheneral, 1 wants to make one rebort; Schwartz's pattery Is took.” “Ah,” sald the General ; “how was that?” “Well, you see, Sheneral, der shecessionists flanked us, and der sbecessionists came 1p der rear of us, und den Schwartz's pattery was took.”” “Well, sir, you of course spiked the gans."* “Votr” exciaimed the German, in astonistiment. “Schpike dem guns! Schpike dem new guns? V'y, tt would spot! dem !** + Well," sald the Genenw, sharply, what did you dor “Do? Py tam, ve took dem back again 1" —Cleveland Leader. AT an annual dinner of the St. Nicholas Soclety, Em- bassador Joseph H. “3oate was down for the toast “ The Navy," while Senator Depew was to reapond to “The Army.” Depew began by saying : “It'@ well to have a spectallst ; that’s why Choate ts here to speak about the navy. We met at the wharf once, and I never saw him again till we reached Liverpool. Whea I asked how he felt, be sald he thought he woutd have enjoyed the trip over if he had had any ocean alr, hear Choate on the navy.” Choate responded : “I've heard Depew hatled as the greatest after-dinner speaker. If after-dinner speaking, as I have heard it scribed and as I belleve It to be, Is the art of saying no: ‘at all, then Dr. Depew Is the most marvelous speaker in the universe "—Exchange. Yes, you wantto A RELIGIOUS old darky had his faith badly sbaken not long ago. He is sexton for a white charch in » Fasette County town, and one afternoon, as he wasin front, sweeping the pavement, a strong wind arose, tearing a piece of the cornice off and taking @ few bricks out of the wall. Realizing that a good run was better than @ bad stand, the old man sought sheiter in the station-house on the opposite aide of tbe street. Several minutes ister a member of the church of which Uncle Isham ts sexton came by, and, noticing him in bis retreat, remarked that he thought the station-house 4 strange place for a man of faith to seek shelter in a storm, when a house of worship was near. “ Dat’s so; but whut's a man gwine ter do when de Lord begins to frow bricks at ‘im? "— Memphis Scimitar, dust after the fall of Bloemfontein, soldiers were called ‘upon, owing to the scarcity of civilans, to work the railway, ‘The weary men were lying in camp one night after» bard day's work, when a sergeant called out : “Any of you men want to put your names down as ral way porters, drivers, stokers, or for any otber appointment connected with the raflway?"* ‘The allence was broken only by sores, Then one Tommy slowly raised his head and drowally mattered : “Pat me down as a sleeper."— London Spare Moments ‘Works, Camdea. J. FSTERBROOKS 150 Varieties, For Sale fe by all Stationers, THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 26 Jar 8. sev tert STEEL P PENS No other make of pen is so good. Get Esterbrook's alway: “Builds a new head.” Virg) from Yucatan, restores gray tit to Its original color; OF your money back — no dye —amber color vegetable oll ~ hills dandruff. ofl imported If tnter- ested, address for valuable Information, The Yucaian Ot! Co., Los Angeles, Cal. is now being prepared, and the announcements of high-class business houses are solicited for its advertising pages. This is an extra issue, consisting of forty or more pages of timely illustrations and letter- press, No advertisement will be accepted occupying less than one- quarter page. The price is $75 for one-quarter page, $150 for half page, THE CHRISTMAS NUMBER OF LIFE tester mac, "te o The front cover, to be printed in colors, will be designed by Wa. pe L. Donce. spond, will be used by The Eastman Kodak Co. This issue will contain, in addition to Mr. Girson's regular work (which appears only in Lire), sketches by C. Autan Gitnert, T. K. Hanna, Jr., Wo. H. Wacker, E. W. Kemper, W. L. Jacons, Bavarp Jones, and many other artists, whose work in the past has assisted in making Lire a success. The array of contributors in this special number of Lire will not be equaled by any periodical in the world. Among many others may be mentioned E. S. Martix, AGNes Repp.ier, Jas. S. Metéatre, Tom Masson, MADELINE S. Brinces, Tueoposta Garrison, and CLINTON SCOLLARD. Advertising orders and copy for this issue should LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 19 WEST 31st STREET NEW YORK CITY The back cover, printed to corre- be sent in early, in order to get good positions and have plenty of time to have proofs revised. comicbooks.com