Life — October 3, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Mission Sale. OME, all you zealous Christians, And hasten to my sale, I've precious loot from China ; To please it cannot fail There's many a golden salver, And many a silver bowl, And lots of heathen trinkets The missionaries stole. It may be many summers Before, as Faith's ripe fruit, Fate sends the missionaries Another chance to loot. Come buy some rich memento, And help the cause along. For, if we spoil the heathen, To loot is never wrong. C. C, Starkweather, A Modern Love Story. LOVE You!" This is the only way to begin a love story. Long-winded descriptions of the hero and heroine, or ornate accounts of what the landscape looked like, whether it snowed, hailed, rained, and which way the wind blew, were all well enough once, but the time has gone by for that. What we crave now is action, and some- thing left to the imagination. So that when Pellington Piker said what he did say in our brilliant opening, he wasted no further words, but clasped to his clerkly breast the rich heiress whom two weeks before he bad met at Dune-Dune-by-the-Sea, and whom he had tracked to her house—or rather palace—on upper Fifth Avenue. “L know it,” said Mildred Goldbonds, as she yielded swiftly to his loving embrace, “and [ love you, but what are we to do? You are too poor even to think of sup- porting yourself in the style to whi Thave been accustomed, while I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice, and of course e gulf between us, and papa But st the next I will listen, and find Papa, as you know, ad of eight railroad systems, and I about it. Do not move until I there is a w would scorn you, [ki have an idea room, talking stocks out what is going up. id the I knows return,” It seemed hours to Pellington Piker, as he sat with his feet on the eight-thousand- dollar rug and waited, but in reality it was only ten minutes before the girl he loved threw herself once more into his arms, “Darling,” she cried, “we are saved! Can you raise any money for margin “Tean mortgage my salary for two years ahead,” said Pellington. “That will be a thousand dollars.” He is even now OF THE RECKLESS CHAUFFEUR. THERE ONCE WAS A RECKLESS CHAUFFEUR. WHO SCORCHED WITH A WHIZZ AND A WHIR, TILL ONE DAY IN HIS “MOBE” HE SCORCHED CLEAN OFF THE GLOBE, SO THE REST WE'RE OBLIGED TO DEFER. “Splendid!” replied Mildred. ‘I heard papa say that to-morrow they will push up Pumpkin Consolidated one hundred points. He said it was a snap, and the chance of a lifetime. We are saved!” * ° ° pre next night at ame hour, Pel- lington Piker stood in the same room But what a change was there, from the hopeful young man who had left her, to this pale, emaciated creature who took both of her hands in his and sobbed even as he spol “It's all over, darling,” he said. “Tf mortg: y salary, pawned my few effects, borrowed all the little wealth of my aged mother, and put it in Pampk solidated, which dropped 200 points in two hours. Tam ruined!" Atthis moment Mildred’s father entered the room, “ What's this T hearabout Pumpkin Con- solidated?"” he said. * You haven't been playing that game, have His daughter, with tea Y fessed all, “It was our only chance to get married, papa dear,” she said, ‘as I knew you would never consent to a poor man. Con- And I overheard what you said last night.” Her father smiled grimly. “Why, I only did that,” he said, “to get rid of my butler. He was getting too fresh ps he had heard from me and the he had mad d I fired that off last night about Pumpkin Consolidated when he was around just to get rid of him. And to think you should have heard it! Ha! I said Pampkin was going up. Poor fellow! How you must have been soaked.” “I lost everything,” said Pellington Piker, bravely trying to smile. “Never mind!" said the old man, ‘It was my fault, and I ought to make it up to you. Even a railroad magnate has a con- science. Be my office boy for six months and keep your ears open, and then you will be rich enough to marry my daughter.” All's well that ends well. Tom Masson. A Hopeless Case. «© A RE the Guggletons in such re- duced circumstances?” “Oh, yes. Why, I understand they are obliged now to live within their income.”’ comicbooks.com