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<< OUR FOOLISH. (ONTEMPORAR' “Tie files ; perhaps I've made my call Too long,” he sald. Sald she: +0, no, It wasn’t long at all— It only seemed to be. —Wauinbek's Penny Daily. MAIO, WIFE OR WIDOW, Bachelor, husband or widower, all find telephone service useful at all hours of the day. None who values comfort, neatness and despatch can afford to be without ft. Rates in Manhattan from $5 # month, New York Telephone Co.. 15 | Dey St., 111 West 38th St. | | Not long ago’ prominent country lawyer, becoming | nettled at the ruling of a jadge, picked up bis hat and started | to walk out of the court-room. He was halted by the court with the toquiry : “Are you trying to express your contempt for the court? “No, your Honor,” was the reply, ‘1 am trying to con- ceal It. ‘Argonaut. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. The Ideal hotel of America for permanent and transtent guests, “Tey are talking about an elevated road tu New York City with & speed of two hundred miles an hour. t Reems to me that there Would be ove serious objection to atch & high rate of speed.” What is itr? “Well, suppose you wanted to get off at Forty-second Street. You'd bave to speak to the conductor about It the day before."—Ctereland Main Dealer. Prxpect digestion makes life enjoyable, Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters make healthy stomachs, “ Dipy'r you go away at ail, Mra Dash?" “No; Mr. Dash sald he was so well fixed now that we 4 adford to stay at home if we wanted to—so we did.” = Detroit Free Press. AN AMERICAN Make, supertor to any European make, Its bouquet lovely, Cook's Impertal Champagne Extra Dry ‘Tu story 1s told of three Protestant ladies, who walked {nto ® Cathoile cherch tn Ireland during bigh mass, It waa raining, and they had gone In for shelter. The priest, one of nature's gentlemen, recognized the ladies, and, stooping down, sald fo an attendant : “Three chairs for the Protestant ladte It was a kindly thought, but the priest must have wisbed | he had never thought It when the man stood up tn the | church and shouted «Three cheers for the Protestant indtes 1 It was over In a minute—the cheers were cheered and could not be called back ; but ft was one of the most ancom- fortable moments Io the good priest's life.—Argonant. YOU HOLD GOOD CARDS When you play with Bicycle Playing Carda, AN amusing story fa told hy a well-known business man of Philadelphia, who recently was Introduced to John D. Rockefeller. Mr. Hockefeller's favorite pastime outside of business hours ts pitching quolts, at which he ts sald to he very clever, He was speaking of this game when some one asked him If be ever played golf. “Goitt™ was Mr. Rockefeller’s reply, “1 don't know anything about golf. 1 wouldu't even kuow bow to hold my caddle."— Philadelphia Public Ledger. Biway & 334 St, Manhattan Theatre “Nien. MRS FISKE and her company tn MIRANDA b2Lcdiiy Every Evening at 815. Saturday Matince a Cocktails?” UVrinks that are famous the world over. Made from the best of liquors and. used by thousands of men and women in their own homes in place of tonics, whose composition is unknown. Are, they on your side- Would not such a dring shopped all day?” Would it not be the drink to offer to the husband when he returns home after his day's busi- panpattal Aedats Choice_of Manhattan, Dk. Ml Martini, Tom or Holland Gin, Vermouth, York or Whisky. For sale by all Fancy Gro- i cers and Dealers, G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. 29 Broadway, N.Y. Martford, Conn. Trya “Lipton” High Ball Made of Finest Matured Old Irish Whiskey Bottled by LIPTON, Ltd., DUBLIN ano LONDON. Sole Agents U. 8. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. 29 Broadway,N.¥., Hartford, Conn. Rich Novelties in Evening Silks. Damas Matelassé, Damas Reps and Tacqueté, Pekin Reps, Crépe Damas Tinsel, Crepe Lumineux, Printed and Embroidered Mousseline: Velvets. Rroadovry Ks 1916 ot. NEW YORK. Richard Croker By ALFRED HENRY LEWIS The Only Authorized Biography of the Great Tammany Leader. Green Cloth and Gold. Illustrated $2.00 “RICHARD CROKER™ 18 more than a blography. It tells the story of Mr. Croker's life tn most entertaining fashion, but, besides this. It Is a character study, and gives us xn totimate and accurate estimate of one of the mest conspicuous and toteresting figures in American life. Mr, Croker's friends will recognize the faithfal portrayal of his good qualities, and his enemtes—for Mr. Lewis bas been frank ax weil as Just—will fad dis faults portrayed with equal Sdelity. “RICHARD CROKER 18 a book which will become & standard and must find « place In every literary, pubillc aod private. It ts of interest not only to the poiltician aod student of pabilc life, but the general reader will fod Its fascinating account of # remarkable man and a remarkable career. ‘The coming muntctpal election in New York will te the fight of Mr. Croker's Ife. He will be constantly in tbe public eye. ‘and Mr. Lewis's book provides a thoroog® Understanding of the man, his methods, and the forces 204 machinery at hia command. No one who expects fo follo® the contest Intelligently can afford to be without the knowledge contained in what ts, in fact, the sole complete biography of Richard Croker. May be ordered through the trade, or will be sent, carriage prepaid, on receipt of $2.00 LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 19 and 21 West 31st St., New York City CHICAGO AND WEST — LAKE SHORE LIMITED —The New York Central. We: At Who We | comicbooks.com