Life — September 5, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

188 The Cap of Fortunatus. (A Grimm Tale Made Gay.) TPORTUNAT Hut he spent all his boyhood in And there, runs the story, he met with a rr Mysteric y birth was a Dane, $ sorcerer chap, Who, money to save hin, most thought: fully gave him A magical traveling-cap. 1 urdly believe what they tell me is true, But here's what that cap was reported todo Suppose you were sitting at home wished to see Paris or Rome, You'd take up that bonnet, you'd carefully don it, The name of the city ye And the ver’ by Jove, you Without hav One moment you strolled upou upper Broad- wa ‘The next on the Corso or Rue de la Paix t beat every journey of Cook's! spots He stepped from his doorway direct into trice to C went He hopped ina He saw Mada, Alaska, And called on a friend in Luzon. ascar, If they said he'd be d He took, while he wa sn ina minute or two, ted, a peek at Peru! He could wake up at eight in Siam, Take his tub if he wanted in Guam, Eat breakfast in Kansas, and lunch in M 8 Go out for a walk in Brazil, Take tea in dine on the Riviera, And smoke his cigar in Seville, Life’s Short Story Contest. THe WINNERS (THE prizes inthe Short Story Contest have been awarded as follows: Finst Paize—Miss Gay's Diplo macy. By Kate Jordan. Seconp PRize—An arth Mar riage. By Mra. Robert $. Chase. Tainp PRIZk—A Private Provi- dence. By Cora A. Hardy, adeira A Happy Medium. «V7 AS their marriage a ‘Through it they both met others whom they immortal. A S00p lie *LIPE * Go out to the theatre in Vladivostok, And retire in New York at eleven o'cloc Every tongue he could fluently speak : rman, Italian, Gree Norwegian, Bulgaria Japanese, Hindustance, Turkish, and M an. He was a lexicon Such as you seldom will see. Ilis knowledge linguistic gave Ollendorff fits, And brought a hot flush to the face of Berlitz! euch, C |, Bavarian, Ie would bow in an intim To Menelik and to Loubet He was frequently beckoned by William the Second A word of advice to receive ; He knew in-and-inly Franz Josef, MeKin- ley, King Os n Paul, the Khedive, The King of the Belgians, the Sultan, the Shah, tor Emmanuel Third, and the Czar! r, O Hut what did he get from it all? His wife used to wait in the hall ! When this wandering mortal set foot on his porta She always appeared on the scene, And muttered severely: ‘Ahem! Well, lrrally Would like to know where yon have been!" Now what is the use of a wai If you have to tell all that y ng life lo to your indulged in remarked shi copious ery, J undoubted! Or, like many another, go back to her mother— And what would their friends think of that? die, She only grew pleasant, when promised a present.” Of gloves or a'fown or a hat ; And more than his talisman saved him in fare Fortunatus expended in putting things square! And Tue Monat is easily said: Like our hero, you're certain to find When such a cap goes on a head, Retribution will follow behind. Guy Wetmore Carryl. AY R. AMBASSADOR CHOATE has V1 expressed himself as being gently opposed to flogging in British schools. Ho says we don't do it here. True, we don't. Mr. Chamberlain, Mr. Rhodes and Mr. Kipling were probably flogged at school. Senator Han Senator Lodge and Colonel Roosevelt are ex- amples of the American treatment. Probably they were not flogged at school. Comparing these distin- guished gentlemen, it is not apparent that anything is flogged into, or ont of, British youth, which the unflogged Americans do not retain or acquire. Then why flog the British boys? They don't mind flogging much, of course, but, judging from results, the exercise is hardly worth the trouble. Mr.Choate’s position seems to be well taken. SHE: I don't believe I shall ever have my trousseau ready. He: Why wait? “That's like a man. You have no reverence for the marriage tie."’ MAKING HIM USEFUL. Younger Brother ; DoX*T WOBBLE SO—THERE ARE ONLY PIPTY MORE stipes! comicbooks.com