Life — August 22, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

148 in conspicuous places, I will give you a few to instance WORK is going on in the BIG TUNNEL LOOK OUT for MALARIL “ Here's another—it, too, is a good one. I » known it to bring about « rushing busines: CATARRIL! COUGHS! COLDS! CATCHING NOW. WARNED IN. TIM and Buy a bottle of Husnva’s Brary-Casoien, BE on sale at all druggists. “Above all, don't overlook the papers. they're great! A regular daisy field. column every morning. Have it headed, ‘SMALLPOX SCARE! ¢ eases ext day vary it: ‘Doctors are uncertain as to whether last case reported was Smallpox, or only German measles, Symptoms most unusual? Keep the ball rolling merrily. Never let it leave people's minds. Make them 80 that they never ride in street cars without wondering if a few Germs are doing business there. Keep them out of certain secti the city. though hoorah! Keep them guessing. ns of If they go, make them feel as their chances weren't worth a Stir’em up!” The Germ was now becoming excited, and his advice flowed forth with rapidity “Never let ‘em rest_a minute. on the ran! increasing Get ‘em Ah! that’s the time you do business,” he murmured, in pleased retro- spection—then burst out more violently : “Now, there's the Grip. That's a name we owe a heap to in our line. Great name, that! Great stroke of genius! Cateh on? Has you li ips your notice. Grips your thoughts. Grips Shakes you. Worries you. Drops you. Then you're ‘It’ for everything else that comes your way. A regular free-lunch counter for the Germ family. We keep all our poor relations in business for a whole winter, after a Grip Germ has opened the way for them. Great name, that! Great name. There's more absolute dismay and depression and concentrated Give-up in those four letters than in the rest of the alphabet put together. ‘The Germ mopped his face, which was hot with his enthusiasm, “Ah! That reminds me. We are just advertising now in our new line of Fevers, Chills, Agues and Malarias! Rushing busi- ness! We've always been successful so far each season, and I anticipate even larger Grip. e a vise. -LIFE: results this year. Come along, let's see if our advertisements are out yet,” and he dragged the bewildered Health Germ down the street. They had not far to go. “There,” he exclaimed, pointing with pride to a row of lurid posters.“ There's our vanguard. Don't see any of your adver- tisements, though. You're slow, monstrous slow" —and he poked the Health Germ playfully in the ribs. ‘The Health Germ sighed. ‘* So it seem he admitted, ‘but this method is all so new to me I don't quite take it in, How would you advise me to begin, for instance ? “Begin?” The Dis arms comprehensivel ¢ Germ waved his “Why, every wa here; you have an unlimited field. Get out some posters right aw nod agents. Get the thing started. you can't make yourself unavoidable, ¢ yourself desirable—those are the two Get before the people. Make Be insistent. People have got to look at something, and they've got to listen to something, and if you don't give that something to them, some one else toill, ‘There's the whole thing in a nutshell.” “It's all very new and strange to me,” murmured the Health Germ, ina disheartened way. ‘I don't see my way to grasping it all at onee. We have always done a good, re- liable business, and had nothing to complain of until late y every Engage urself heard. ars.when all these new-fangled notions got on the market. People knew the nods we kept, and came to us and asked for them. Our things are just as good now, but we don't seem to do the same business.” “Got to get in the game,” re- marked the Disease Germ, saga- ciously, “or the game'll go on without you. Advertising’s the thing that does it, mark my words!” A sudden burst of confidence pelled hin He buttonholed the Health G “Tdon't mind telling you just on the quiet that our goods are not quite as good as yours—don't give nearly the same satisfaction after you've got them. But it's the advertising does it, and that’s all we care about. Try our methods! Talk itup. Post it up. Buy it up. Make it de- sirable. Geta corner on Health. People will go wild over it. They'll have it at any price.” “Do you really think so?” the Health Germ demanded, much cheered. “I must look into this matter seriously. I feel we have not been as progressive and up to date in our methods as we might have been. I will take your advice, order some posters at once and en- gage some agents. How would this read?” he asked, in sudden inspiration : BARGAIN SALE OF HEALTH. OLD RELIABLE ADAM-AND-EVE BRAND. BUSINESS ESTABLISHED IN YEAR 1. Finding our present quarters too small for great increase of business, must dis- pose of entire stock of Heantit before moving. QUICK SALES! EASY PAYMENTS! Notes made payable to Disease Germ Com- pany discounted here. “Oh! now look here," broke out the Disease Germ, aghast at the way his tip had been applied. “That's not fair, you know.” But the Health Germ only smiled softly. “In love, in war and in advertising all is fair,” he remarked, placidly. Now, good- by. Thank you so much for your advice. comicbooks.com