Life — August 1, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE HEALTH.FOOD MAN, Mis eyes are balls of poltshed steel ; His lungs are ponges dried ; His blood 1s boutlion-concentrate In veins of leather hide. Ils muscles creak like pulley ropes When burried Into play ; Mts hair Is like ptano-chords— Some chords are lost, they say. His heart's a little globe of punk— A house of constant gloom, For love can never barn within, Because there tsn't room. its appetite has dwindled down To Ot hia little food, THIl fruit is * water In w poke ™ And bread Is “so much wood.” Hot apple tarts and pumpkin ples He reads of them aghast ; And Wallies brown and cb Are * terrors of the past.” And, smiling, from his vest he slips A tiny box of tin, With capsules brown and pellets pink All rattling within, Then, with a gulp, he swallows down Ilts dinner from the can— This product of the health-food school, ‘oncentrated Man t —Aloysine Coll, in What to Eat. Newsdeaters in national S reat Britain. Tho Inter- pany, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, THERE are bad bargains that we remember, sometimes with regret and often a Iitie hitter amusement, Says Mra F. D. Gtileaple to her * Book of Remembranc My father had taken some land in Ilinols for a bad debt, and this he bad never visited, After be bad patd taxes on It for several years, he was asked to geil the tract. He agreed to do it, and named the price, which was the sum he had paid for It. without the taxes “The deeds were scarcely signed when my father found that # city, Peorla, was growing up on the spot. He was naturally disappointed at what seemed the til luck of the occurrence, but several ycarsafter, bis annoyance was tnged with amasement A man came tuto his office, and asked ; “+ Are you W. J. Duane t* Yes." “+ Did you own the site of the city of Peorta?* “Yes! “+ «Did you sell tt for six hundred dollars? * + Yes.’ The man rose from his cbatr. + Goodby *Lonly thought I'd like to look at you. "Exchange. * sald he. A LADY was recently reading to her young son the story of # litte fellow whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to assist tn support: ing limseif and his mother. When she had flnished the story, she sald : “Now, Tommy, if pa were to die, wouldn't you work to keep mamma?” “Why, no,” sald the little chap, not relishing the {dea of work, “What for? Ain't we got a good hoase to live in? “Oh, yes, my dear," sald the mother, “but we can’t eat the house, you know." “ Well, ain’t we got plenty of things in the pantry + ce tinned the young hopeful. “Certainly, dear," replied the mother, « notlastiong and what then?” “Weil, ma,” sald the young incorrigible, after thinikieg, moment, ‘ain't there enough to last tll you husband? Ma gave tt up.—London ¢ Dut they wos Answers. FRANK ANDERSON was for years a well-known comes: clal traveler who made Galena, He was passionately sci of honey, and the proprietor of the Gaiena Hoel, at wri he always stopped, always had some on hand for tim. «| one trip Anderson took his wife along, and as he approsctey Galena he mentioned to ber that he was getting to a pisy| where he could have houey, When the patr were site « the supper table that nightno honey appeared. and Abderee sald sharply to the head waiter: “ Where Is my boney ?"* The waiter smited and ald : “You mean the little black-halred one? Ob, sbe dey} work bere now."—Aaneas City Journal. A CeRTAIN teacher of English in a schoo! of high rasta her native State, Mlastesippl, who, In spite of her vin conversation, 1s perbaps,if anything, too fastidious to te| cholce of words, was spending the summer at the Nex Tia Chautauqua, Her tow of spirits made her the delight or dining-table at which she was Orst seated, bat at tbe ex 8 fortnight she was moved by her landlady to another pine A lady from Boston, who had been sitting opposite the Sout erner, expressed her regret at the change. “Lam 80 sorry you are going to leave us," she said, 2] we have all enjoyed your dialect so muck. Harper's Mags EUROPEAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brentano, 3 Avenue de V'Opera, Paris, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE A Powder for the Feet. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's FooteEase, a powder for feet, Ite Ese makes tignt-it shoes feelensy. [tis a cert: Jingroming mais toting callone and I Tre act fet Ws have Oe YY. Sold by all Druggistaand Shoe Stores, 260, Donotaecent a i tation. Sent by mail for2se.in FREE re Gage ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le Roy, N. Y. (Meativa tis magazioe) “So Easy to Use.” [STERBROOKS 150 Varieties, For Sale by all Stationers. Worts, Carden, 3.1. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 26 sore st. sev tee. STEEL PENS The Easiest Writing Steel Peas Made, LIFE. Vol. SHAKSPEARE SAID coop WINE IS A GOOD FAMILIAR CREATURE” LET US MAKE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE LABEL OF THE BEST GOOD WINE RUINART CHAMPAGNE > Vin Brut hs iL fecie Lf Hew ROOSEVELT & SCHUYLER, Sele gus ted Sues SCasee. 36. and Gold, Full Black. PRICE, $4.00. If Copies are returned an allowance of E0088 is made. Bound in Maroon and Gold, Greeq A tall glass, a spiral of lemon peel and a well iced bottle of MYLES STANDISH GINGER. ALE Doesn't this make you thirsty? “IT DOESN'T BURN.” comicbooks.com