Life — July 18, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AMERICANIZED. I love my Transatlantic brother well, I hate his foes infernally ; With conscious pride I fee! my bosom swell When he greets me fraternally. Yet might it not, I sometimes ask, befall ‘That his loved presence might begin to pall? His kodak on my privacy intrudes, His beef tills to satiety, His canned goods crowd what late were solitudes, His heiresses, Society, ‘Tis his—one drop of sweet in bitter cup— his wlarum wakes my servants up. His oi! my lamp, his corn my belly fills. He builds me my machinery. And boa that tell the praises of his pills Adorn my native scenery ; While in the Tabe—so Yankeefied we are— I ride perforce in his triumphal car. He wins our races, teaches us to ride— ‘Tis true, I'm very sure tt is— Our markets find all stocks are dull beside His versatile securities ‘And near at hund, I hear, the period is When all our ships and shipyards shall be his. He fills my cosmos, and I can but see, As every Tom and Jerry can, Soon I, my kin, race, clime and land may be Essentially American, ‘And I may own, of comfort quite bereft, ‘That there is nothing really English lett. —London Daily Chronicle Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- mpany, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, cngland, AGENTS. national N London, B. A FUNNY story of Gen. Christian De Wet shows the sturdy Boer commander radiating rays of humanity and humor in perplexing proportion. As Mr. Richard Harding Davis tells it, three scouts of the yeomanry came prisoners before De Wet. They had been captured before. They were English scouts, Being captured seemed to be an affection chronic with them. De Wet looked them over gravely and thoughtfully, his clear eyes searching them through and through. He was their judge, stern or merciful they could not tell; all they could do was hope. “My men,” said the Boer commander, at last, “ will you take a message from me to your general?” They accepted in rejotced surprise, and were entrusted with a large sealed package. When they reached General Rundle’s camp, they said that they were bearers of papers from De Wet, negotiating for peace. General Rundle was delighted. He tore open the envelope. He read the letter. It said : ™“ DEAR GENERAL RUNDILI captured these raging d up. They annoy me. This fs the fourth time I have Is of yours. Please chain them “DE Wer.” Independent. ONE of the most ludicrous mistakes made by the tele- graph was caused by the loss of a single dotin a telegram from Brisbane to a London news agency. As it reached London, it read : “Governor-General twins first son,’ which the news. agency “edited” and sent around to the papers in the fol- lowing form : “Lady Kennedy, the wife of Sir Arthur Kennedy, Gov- ernor-General of Queensland, yesterday gave birth at Govern- ment House, Brisbane, to twins, the first born being a son.” ‘The telegram was published by most of the newspaper in London and the provinces. and caused an unexpected sensation Sur Arthur's friends pointed out with conclusite force that some one had blundered, as there never was 4 Lady Kennedy, Sir Arthur being a bachelor. The repeat message, which followed, read : “Governor-General turns frst sod,” referring to i ratlnay ceremony.—Argonaut. i Tue Sheritt of —, very rich but rather mean, consultet a clever local doctor, who had made diseases of the eye bis special study, concerning his sight. After a careful examination the doctor said a catang was forming, und there would have to be an operation, pensive?” asked the sherlif “Twenty guineas!” was the answer. «Must think it over, * said the sheritf. Three months afterwards the sherlif went by appointment to be operated on by a celebrated London specialist (ox hundred and twenty-four miles away) Now, it so happened that the specialist was ill, and had to telegraph for a subst. tute. Judge of the sheritf's surprise when, the door of the operating-room being opened, he found himself face to face with his own local doctor ! It was too late to retreat, however ; and the operation was performed. “Your fee?” asked the sheriff. “Forty guineas !” was the quiet answer—Exchange, “Anp did you find the Chinese a brave nation?” we asked of the returned soldier. “Indeed,” he replied, casting a sidélong glance at the wagonful of loot which was being unloaded, “ they were foemen worthy of our steal.""— Baltimore American. <_AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris, WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Ali! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. Baltimore, Md. ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE A Powder for the Feet. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot=Ease, a powder for the feet, ul, swollen, smarting, ind instantly: takes th and bun- re Allen's bg OF new \ingrowing nails, swe-ting, hot, tired, achin, DAY, Sold by Stores,26e, Do not ne tation. Sent by mail fo FREE TRIAL PACKAGE sentbymail. Address ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le Roy, N. Y. (Mention this magazine) “So Easy to Use.” Established 1823. FSTERBROOKS 150 Varieties. For Sale by all Stationers. Works, Gamdon, ¥.J. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO, 26 Jom st, STEEL PENS cgi No other make of pen is so good, Get Esterbrook’s always. vw York, (Por eerAL 161 BROADWAY. 688 BROADWAY. 723 SIXTH AVENUE. The Adirondacks | Hotel Ampersand ON LOWER SARANAC LAKE An Ideal Mountain and Lake Resort Ten hours’ from New York without change. Within short drive of all the prin cipal resorts in the mout tains. Most Attractive Place for Young People A perfect nine-hole Gol Course. Swimming, Row ing, Canoeing, Tennis and Dancing. HOTEL AMPERSAND Ampersand, N. Y- New York to Buffalo, via New York Central—Finest One-Day Railroad Ride in the World comicbooks.com