Life — June 13, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SPRING FEELING. Tam too winter-killed to live, Cold sour through and through. O Heavenly Barber, come and give My sou! a dry shampoo. 1 want to find a warm beech wood, And lie down, aud keep still ; And swear a little ; and feel good ; Theu loaf up on the hill And let the Spring bouse-ciesn my brain, Where all this stuiT t cra And let my heart grow sweet agala, And let the age be damued. Last Songs from Vagabondia.” med ; —Blise Carman, in Iv 1783, General Henry Knox enjoyed the honor of betng the * greatest" of eleven distinguished oMcers of the army, weighing two hundred and elghty pounds, Noah Brooks, in bis book entitled “Henry Knox,” says of him: “With a Captain Sargent, he was selected to present the hard case of the starving and naked men at Valley Forge to the attention of a committee of Congress. One of the congressmen, wish- ing to show bis wit and sarcasm, sald that he had never seen & fatter man than General Knox, nor a better-dressed man than bis assoclate Knox managed to keep bis temper and Femained silent, but his subordinate retorted: +The corps: out of respect to Congress, and themselves, have sent as thelr Tepresentatives the only man who had an ounce of super, Auons fesh on his body and the only other who possessed & complete suit of clothes. ""—Argonaut. Corxset for the plaintiif, being anxtous to discredit a hostile witness's evideuce, remarked that the occurrence de- scribed by the witness bordered on the miracuions, “It must have been a minicle—eh?” he sald, tarning to the man. The witness, shaking bis head, sald he did not know what a miracte was. “Oh, come," said the counsel. “Supposing you were looking out of a window on the seventh story of « batiding and were to fall out and not be injured, what would you call that?” + An accident," was the stolid reply. “Yea, ses! but what else would you call it? Well, sup pose you did the same thing the next day. Suppose you looked out of the seventh story window and fell out again, and again found yourself uninjured. Now, what would you call that?" ; * A coincidence.” sald the witness. “Oh, come now!” the lawyer began again. “I want you to understand what @ miracte ts, and I'm sure you do, Now, just suppose that on the third day you were looking out of the same window and fell out and struck your head on the Pavement seven stories below and were not In the least Injured, what would you call it?" “Three times? sald the witness, rousing a little from his apathy. Well, I'd call that a babit." Counsel gave It up.—Exchanye. Once there was. a run ona bank in # mill town, and the depositors were Leing paid in ellver dollars. The excitement Increased, and the run became a fast one, The casbler, & young Irishman, sent the janitor with a bushel of stre dollars into a rear room, where there Was a stove, with ip structions to ** beat them silver dollars red bot.” Thes wee heated, and in that condition he hauled them out wie 4| ladie, The depositors rst grabbed the colu, then kicked. “But you'll have to take them that way,” sald the casbier “We are turning them out as fast as we can melt and mei them, and If you don’t wait tll they cool, you will bare » take them hot That settied it. The run was stopped.— Pilot. THE naireté and unexpectedness which make the cdi charm of children’s prattle was amusingly {lu other evening In the drawing-room of Mra. Bee wife of the noted English actor. Her little dau helping to entertain some visitors, and the talk was ruzcisy generally on theatrical matters. A good-natured fnee: wishing to bring the Httle lady Into It, sald: * And soa, ry dear, I suppose you Intend to be a great actress when see growsup?” “Oh, no; not at all,”* replied te chos “mamma intends me to marry."—M. A. P. A PATHETIC request to the editor by a young matron fers receipt for an Inexpensive soup has been referred to me. “Dear George does so love soup: be eats a gallon cf! more at a meal if be can get It, and I want so much to pleas him.” You will find that a very economical soup can be mate by scraping a carrot Into # saucepan of water, aiding s pinch of salt for favor, and, tf very pale, @ little colrisg matter. If the weather ts cold, pepper well.— Wa). For salo by all Newadealers in Great Britato. The Inter. ompany, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, national New: London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPEAN AGENTS— Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Ali! THE WILSON DISTILLI Baltimore, Md A night cap of well iced Myles Standish Ginger Ale Is & most fitting introduction to a droamless sleep. Pure and unusually dolicious, “IT DOESN'T BURN, L. BOVER'S SONS, 90 Water Street, near Wall, New York ———' | OLD CROW RYE sxtior WHISKEY sux It is Wu, The Adirondacks Hotel Ampe REEL MAA, Pp an nan 1) pore = remo Samm a ini When Made. Made 10 years ago and sold to-day. Hunter Baltimore. Rye is 10 years old. That’s enough. It is the charm of hospitality and the tonic of health. the oldest and best whiskey in Ameri Lanauan & Son, Baltimore, Md. ON LOWER SARANAC LAKE An Ideal rsand ste 7 Lake Resort Ten hours from New Y! without change. Withio 4 short drive of all the prio cipal resorts in the mous tains. Most Attractive Place for Young People A perfect nine-hole Goll Course. Swimming. Row- ing, Canoeing, Tennis and Dancing. HOTEL AMPERSAND Ampersand, N. Y. H. B. KIRK & CO. BOTTLERS, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com