Life — May 30, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE OLO TALE. [INSPIRED BY MR. RUDYAKD KIPLING'S LATEST CRIME] SAN FRaNcisco, Cat, April 19, 1901, EDITORS Argonaut: The tnclosed clipping was sent me with the request that I turn It over tothe Argonaut for putsll- cation. It ts hy the editor of the Yokobama (azette His Hand was still on his Windtag—his Pen was going apace ; Conceit lit up the Outlines of bis round and chubby Face ; Snug in bis Ink-splashed Armchair, Author of many Crimes, Serene in his Self-sattstact ireat Kipling wrote to the And He wrote tt Years, The Tale that suggests so clearly the length of the Author's Ears ; He used up bis Capitais freely, He tortured the Tongue of the Queen, And fle grinned as 1 from those F 1, Old Story, the Tale of a Thousand vghtof the Northland Gold to come itors keen. And Ile spake: "Tis a Glorious Legend, This Tale of a Thousand Years And it's easy enough to write it, with the ald of the ex of places, and take the hard names Brogabrt, Leeuwin, and Kalkouras, and Northland and South- land and West. “Then 1 babble of Wild White Horses, and the Old Queen and the Young, And I sing such a Song of Jingo as the Old Bards never sung And I prate of the Mother of Waters and the Sovereign of the Sea, And the Queen of the Freevorn Southland meansa Sovereign a line to Me. “ And the Editors bring me Westland gold, and cheques of the Northland Coutts, And my pass-book shows bow my driveling Tale the Mighty Pubic suits : Work hard while the Boom ts swinging—perchance I may live to see The Fickle Brutes desert Me tn the Pitiful Times to Be. “1 sing of the White Man's Burden and of Lands actoss the Sea, (And every biessed Line I write ts a Galnea more to me) ; Like a enting vulture you saw Me tn the Track of tle ‘Transvaal War, And I've “kippled ” the Universe over, from the Pole to the Austral Star. “T babbie of Five Free Natlons'and Our Lady of the Snows, (You ask what I mean by those phrises-oh, the mischlet only knows!) I know that they come In. bandy when stumped for appro- priate rhymes, : And Sense- why, man, they're Intended for the readers of the Times.” ERT. “1 wet Judge Stevens, of North Carolina, while I was tn Ashevilic a few weeks ago,” a Balttmorean sald the other day, “and the Judge entertained me hy telling some of bis expertences. One day, he sald, an old colored woman was brought before him, charged with a trifling misdemeanor. in Great Britain. The Inter- myany, Bi in 4 Engiand, AGENTS. Hding, Chancery Lane, ‘The offence was so small that the Judge decided tha: payment of a small fine would be suMictent puntabmens, knew that the old woman would hardly be likely to have money, so he questioned ber about any other possessions might have. ++ Tlave you a cow, auntie?’ be began. Deed, yeh Honor, T ain't got no cow. lave you any ducks ?* No, ye. Honor, I ain't got none.* Any geese or chickens? * “+ Before de Lawd, Jedge, I ain't got nothin’ bat jes'a yere rheumatiz.* “The Judge said he dismissed the case.”? . — Baltimore Se THACKERAY, anxious to enter Parilament, stood Oxford, thinking he might win the seat from Lord Moe who then represented It. Meeting his opponent in the one day, be shook hands with him, had a little talk over situation, and took leave of bim with the quotatioa : “May the best man win." “T hope not," sald Lord Monck, very cordially, wa Kind IIttle bow, — Argonaut. Oxce upon a time the Fates endowed a certatn pep with a sense of humor, Eventually the people became aware of this, and Mortification thereupon #as very great. “For how,” exclaimed they, “are we ever to becoae world power, now?" : Of course, patriotism might stil be taught in the scteei — Detroit Jourve ECROPFAN AGENTS—Messra. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Pari, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. A thirsty throat is worth cultivating when it be soothed with Myles | Standish | Ginger Ale I It has the pleasant ginger | may i tang without the peppery burn L. BOVER’S SONS, 90 Water St., near Wall St., u New York City “OLD CROW RYE sation WHISKEY coetctt Scion Why Best? It is made from the choicest of selected grain and undergoes an ageing-of to years, thus securing pertection of flavor and bouquet. As a type and representative of a superb class of whiskies Hunter Baltimore Rye Stands pre-eminent and unrivaled. Wa. Lanantax & Sox, Baltimore, Md. Floor Coverings and Country House Furnishings. Chinese and Japanese Mattings, Corton Rugs, Linoleums. Best Quality Imported and Domestte Brussels 90 cents per yard. Ruffted Maslin Curtains, Jacquard Linens, Printed Silks Cretonnes. Chintze: Lace Curtains. Mattresses, Bedding. Household Linens, Shades. Rroadway Airob ot NEW YORK. 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