Life — May 2, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

my pile and it then became A problem what todo with the same, My chief desire is to act a part, Which inakes it plain I possess a read my name at every turn, I'm bent on giving 'em books to burn. I'm a non-sectarian, million- aire, merry kive ; A philanthropical, newspaper topical, canny Scot am I! tun, bound to enous. In him behold a millionaire, nillion a month is his ceaseless And to read his name at every turn, He's bent on giving us books to burn! (A great commotion ts now observed, au sandwich man, with a.sign Bor row From Me* in front makes his way through the Uirong. Cites of * Throw him out!" are heard on alt sides, untit he te nally recognized, an ae subdued litters are heard tn rear, he steps (0 fron! and begins.) Song—A Voventy-Strrexes Mite Liesanee:. Ressen. Sve Vina poverty-stricken millionaire, M thes, you'll quite threadbare ; [regard it as most injurious observe, are ‘To buy the things that I really need, It suits me better to practice greed, For Lam by nature penurious cHones, He regards it as quite injurious To be otherwise than penurious. ‘They call me mea afford , but Le In view of my poverty-stricken hoard, To be thus termed usurious 1 worshiy pny the golden calf, And everything else is the veriest chal: Extravagance makes me furious chores, Extravagance makex him furious, He'd rather be thought usurious. When money is tight I lend it out At borrowing rates that are high, no Just to satisty the curious; But then, it is needful to use the wares “I'm the greatest yet.” Of poverty-stricken milli Who never can be luxurious crores. In order to lend to the curions, Ile himself is never Inxurions. And se let me state, ‘Tho! [have no soul, Pye an in- terest rat That's And Vd rath for the pelf W be untene in my threadbare way, spurious ; hand out » my genuine self, ch is. as you know, pentrions, chores. His rates are He's t (He ts here joined by Hetty Green, iho watks up and pate hm on the back approciagly, while the rings.) ver spurious to himself, penurions, Sone or Arrrovat. Herty Gre I've nodded my head Atth. things you've said, In emphatic confirmation! And it makes me glad To think I have ha ‘The self-same educa (They trip up and down on the stage arm in arni, singing.) Duet—Werty Greex axp Rvssenn Sace. They may laugh at our ways, But we find that it pays, So who cares ! We're a pair of penurious, strictly usurious, never luxurious Millionaire (The stage now suddenly tecomes dark, and there tsa great rumbing noise im- mediately preceding the famous tank scene, wher now takes place auad tre- mendous applause, In the midst of the tank, in a diamond-studded gondola, reclines the head of the olf trust, &la Chopatra, He gracefully acknowledges the unteersal homage, and then steps forward and sings.) Solo—Joux D. Rock eretcen. You must all allow That your deepest bow Is due to my generosity ; For Iam the Prir (And have been years since) Of oleaginosity ! In my unctuous way Thave had full sway, And yet without pomposity, millions galore grow on to more, ugh oleaginosity ! Others there Who m ie with me, Yet I say it without verbosity, ‘They're not in it at all, For I'm beyond call Ly oleaginosity ! From Standard oil 1 was made without toil, And without undue precocity. I'm the greatest yet, Although not b: But oleaginosity ! cuores. His dividends increasing were not gathered by precocity, Sut—we sing it without ceasing— it was oleaginosity ! (He takes his place in the (rong, which now falls in,and marches and countermarches to the natlonat anthem. Then all jotn hands and stng ) FINAL CHORUS—THE COMPANY We are magnates bold, With a power untold, Which bafiles imagination; ‘The masses may cry And polities ply, But it’s we who rule the nation. (CURTAIN.) Tom Masson, comicbooks.com