Life — May 2, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“@xNOLD ON WRONG SWIFT Ye Lyre. 1 that day to- wards charity and all eredi- So when Our Acquaintance remarked of An One that he was a liar, we protested. “It is not meet so to stamp the .”” we observed, gent said Our Acquaintance, he ripman stopped th for him on signal, permitting him to enter in safety.” “tis possible,” we returned. “He may have looked like Mr. Vreeland.” But,” insisted Our Acquai “he said the conduc nickel piece in cl although « lady had just pennies into the conductor's har we persisted, stubbornly, y have been saving Jrop in the slot machine in exchange for the gum that's round.” GEANCE Watts.” anting that,” said Our Ac- . but he le stat eat aching the stables, no em- ppeared and. shouted, ‘All eth ead.” . and not till then, did we denounce him. “Out upon him fora three times third degree lyre of a thousand strings," we thundered. he teuth is not in him, and the spirit of Ananias 18 abroad in his part of the land. May a murrain seize his truthless tongue and a pesti- lence pounce upon his lying lips.” Great Power. “ por a preacher, he has a remarkable brevity, hasn't he?” “ Wonderful! Never saw a man who could concentrate so much dulness in such a small space." Our New Tactics. FIG for the generals who fight With their enemy face to face ! A fig for the men of might Who contest in an open race! A fig for the old-time way We are learning a thing or two ; And why should we fight to-day If lies and deceit will do? If we've mastered the forger’s art And can copy our foeman’s name— If we've studied the actor's part And can play the confidence game— If forgery, fraud and the like Can be learned at our army-schools, Into counterfeiters’ tools! We have done with the sabre and gu With the charge and the doubl And we boast of victe By the three-card-monte trick. Now blazon it near and far That the ends of the earth may hear Of our bunco-steering war With its green-goods brigadier! Then ho! for a laurel-crown To place on our hero's head And adorn the high renown OF the treachery that he led ! Let us honor his sterling worth And his chivalrous, manly course— With the chief detective’s berth On the Tombs-Police-Court force ! Ernest Crosby. Outoans- B, Pig: XO, 1 NEVER EAT JAM, IT MAKES ONE LOOK 80 UNTIDY. comicbooks.com