Life — April 4, 1901 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SONG OF THE SKIRT. With fingers weary and cramped And a wrist that was stiif with pain, A lady walked, In # Paris gown, Down Lond Street, tn the raln. Splast, splash, splash, Through puddie and slash and dirt, And baif to herself, in a sobbing tone, She sang this “Song of the Skirt" : * For fashion’s sake,” she moaned, + Pull many a cross bear we ; Like abject slaves we bow To her every new decree. But of all the crue! modes With which we women are cursed Our walking-gown, with Its trating train, Methinks ts by far the worst. * Sweep, sweep, sweep, Where the waste of the street Iles thick ; Sweep, sweep, sweep, However our path we plek Dust, bactiius, and germ, Germ, tactllus, and dust, Till we shudder and turn from the sorry sight With a gesture of disgust.” —London Truth Manx Twain's daugtiter, Miss Clara L. Clemens, in enter- g upon her career ag # concert singer, had # long confer. ce with a manager. Many matters were discussed, plans ade and details settled, Miss Clemens dictating ber own eas, The young singer, who had expertenced considerable Meulty in obtaining parental consent to ® public career, showed her earnestness by the businesslike manner in which she looked Into affairs. When matters bad been fully considered and the manager was about to leave, Miss Clemens sald, with the large deter- mination that small bodies not infrequently possess : “Twish it distinctly understood that my father’s name ts not to be mentioned at ail In connection with my singing 1 pubite.” Mark Twain, who had been sitting tn the room during the foterview, in which, however, he had taken no part, looked up quizzically and sald with # twinkle tn bis eyes: You see what it Is to have a thankless chttd.”? — Saturday Evening Post. SeNaTOR Vest {3 older than hia years, tn fact as well as in Appearance. He 1s {ll and despondent and refuses to take & cheerful view of life. Nevertheless bis mind ts one of the brightest In the Senate. One day he sank into his chair say- ing to bis neighbor: am an old man, aud Ill never get over this.”* Come, come, Vest, brace up,” replied bis neighbor ; brace up and you'l be all right. Look at Morrill over there; he's nearly ninety, and ts as spry as a man of forty." “Morrill! Morrill 1" sald Vest. “He's set for eternity, They'll have to shoot him on the day of Judgment Harper's Weekly. Tr was evident in bis swagger that he was a scion of the Uritish aristocracy, and the most casual observer could not have failed to note that he was # stranger to the city. He touched @ well-dressed, auburn-haired young man who was lolling in front of « Broadway hotel on the shoulder. “Pardon me, me dear man, bus could I trouble you for a. match?” After lighting bis cigar ne continued: * an Jove, this {sa remarkable city. This ts me first visit to New York, For sat national N London, by all Nowsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The Inter- Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY — WILSON DISTILLING CO., Balumore Md That’s All! d'ye know? I'm a deucid stranger, but on the other @ person of Importance. Lam Sir Francis Dagy, Kni, the Garter, Knight of the Bath, Knight of the Double Fagie, Knight of the Golden Fleece, Katght of the Iron Cross mind telling me your name, me dear mant* Replied he of the auburn hair, in a deep, rich bee “Me name ts Michael Murphy, night before last before that, last night, to-night and every damon night Michael Murphy.""—New York Evening Sun. A RUSSIAN military paper tella of a lieutenant whe beard A sergeant giving a recrult a short lecture upon bis ducie: +The military service,” said the sergeant, “ requires ite Prayer to God, and x» strict attention to the orders of a supertor.”” : Somewhat astonished at this singular dedoition of mill tary duty, the officer ventured to ask the sergeant for his authority, Whereupou the sergeant produced au anctent volume, contatning the following ; “The military service requires little ; prayer to God and strict attention to the orders of a supertor.""— Argonavt. Tux five-hour discussion In the House of Represeutatives last week over the value of three jackasses suggested following to an admirer of the House of Representatives : Some scores of asses recently were called To fix the value of three asses more. For five long hours they wrangied, brayed and brawied, Then by their brethren said they set no store, Henceforth tet all the Jackass tribe take heed How small thetr value seemeth to the nation ! A'while they bray and on the public feed, Then gatn, as those, the Jackass valuation! — New York Evening Sua OPFAN AGENTS—Mosars. Brentano, 37 Avenue del'Opera, Paris, Success Immense popularity explains itself thus: 1o Year Old Hunter Whiskey Always delights and never disappoints. lowers its high standard of quality. varies its perfect purity and mellow flavor. satisfies everybody else. It never It never It Now, satisfy yourself. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. SHAKSPEARE SAID GOOD WINE IS A GOOD FAMILIAR ace: CREATURE LET US MAKE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE LABEL OF THE BEST COOD WINE RUINART CHAM 0) Vin Brut ROOSEVELT & SCHUYLER, Sele gmt th Usted Ses Cade, i ut WATER, The vim and life with- out the bite. Paris Exposition Judges’ opinion: “Perfect.” For Oiling Delicate Mechanisms there Is positively no labricant on the market that equals *2 in 1," It is an otly oll that bever gums, dries out, col- sects dust or clogs the action point. BinOne will not turn rancid and the last drop Is Just as good as the Orat. Also used on guns, bicycles, type writers, clocks, sewing machines, hinges, locks, musical tnstruments, and for every such purpose itis the best that you can boy. “3in 1” cleanses and polishes too and prevents rust on any metal surface. Your dealer bas it. Send two-cent stamp to pay the postage on sree sample bottle. G. W. COLE CO., 86 Liberty Street, New York City. OLD CROW RYE stor WHISKEY sux H. B, KIRK & CO., BOTTLERS, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com