Life — March 21, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO A FOUNTAIN PEN. Bottomless fountain of exquisite woe, Why do I struggle to clean and to Ol, Seeking to regulate ebting and flow? Deep are your waters and horribly attil. Flatterer, why do you always begin To mark with preciston the words of my brato, Only to waver, and, watery, thin, fReturn to your primitive biankness again ? Graved on my soul I @ story of dread— Once to the night did | wake with ® sonnet Hot 1" the mouth, and { sprang from my bed, Seized you, got paper, and scribbled upon It, Cold was the air, and my body was frozen. Couldn't fad matches—poetical paxste Brooked no delay—in deliciously chosen Perlods scribbled 1 after @ fashion Crept back to bed with a sigh of reltef, wing the world would be stirred to Its soul Reading 4 sonnet surpassing bellef, Which from # salad of lobster I stole. Ab, tn the morning, perfidious Jade 1 What did I find of iny beautiful sonnet? A cold in my head was the price that I paid For # sheet with Hllegible scratchings upon tt! that spits when I ask you to write, Lend your contemptble folly, hantsh your mutinous «plte— present you to ‘Thus do | ‘Asa token of Ur at the Hofman House the brokers were celebrating Washington's Birthday as brokers sometimes do. Between celebrations oue of them remarked : “This ts getting to be ® great country for holidass. ‘They're coming along pretty fast nowadays. We've got all theold ones anda jot of new ones, and this year we're to have atill another.” + What's that?" ask t. Patrick's Day. “Trot along, trot along,” sald the third of the trio, “We've always taken @ couple or more 10 honor of St. Patrick, but we'll be doing business just the same. Don't you know, you galoot, that that isn’t a legal holiday?" “Bet you a Lottie of wine that it will be this year. Ite teen decided to close up all the exchanges and banks, and all the publlc butidings will be closed, Not a tap of business will we do on St. Patrick's Day.” “11 take you," sald the broker nearest the bar, have the bottle now and settle the bet on March 17." “Done,” sald the man who advanced the proposition. “But we can prove it now. It's marked among the holldays ou the calendar. Get a calendar and see. A calendar was consulted by the man who bad taken the bet, and then, with an expression of disgust on his face, exclaimed : * You poor Idiot, St. Patrick's Day falls on Sunday!" 4 one of bis friends. “Let's New York Sun. Og night, Hon, Willlam D. Faulke, tna speech before a small meeting In Indiana, when James D. Williams and Benjamin Harrison were opposing candidates tor the Gov- ernorship, related the following story = “Mr, Williams, who was then a member of Congress, was one day washing his bands at one of the lavatories In ompany, Bream’ wand, AGENTS. the Capitol, when an attendant handed bim three towels. tle sighed at such wauton extravagance, and exclaimed “Why, down at my farin I make a single towel last the whole farnily a week.’ In the East this was considered a good story, bat Mr, Faulke was astonished to see that there Was not & smile upoa any of the faces before him ; Indeed, the countenances too ‘on even & deeper gloom. On his way home, as they drove through the woods, his companion sald to bim : “You didn't make a great bit with your story aboct ‘Blue Jenna's’ family towel.” Xo, I didn't seem to,"* “Do you know why?” On Well, I'l tell you, ‘There wasn't a farmer in that crowd who hadn't done the same thing himself, — Argonaut. “I see that Chicago didn’t care much for Sarah Bers- hardt and Coquelln,” sald the sarcastic New Yorker; “se played a losing engagement in that tow! “That'aall right,” said the Chicago!man ; ** you'll find it's the same way with grand opera. We don't chase afters thing simply because it's a New York success. If heaven depended on an indorsement from New York, you'd mighty soon find that & Chicago colonization society would be formed to start a little heaven of Its own." — Cleveland Plain Deater. Miss Lavin: Whathas become of Mr. Clay? Mx. RAND: He bas taken employment in a powder mill for six months. How strange! Notat all. Le wished to break himself of smoking.” Stray Storia. he Inter. Building, Chancery Lane, ECROPFAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brentano, 37 Aveuue de l'Opera, Paris, THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Intrinsic merit justifies the Wa. Lananan & Son, Baltimore, Md. Itis not an ‘accident that Playing Cards are popular from Greenland to Australla. Itis because their superior merit has made them the standard of excellence the world over. “Card Games, and How to Play Them" a 120 page book mailed for six flap ends from Bicycle boxes, of five 2c. stamps. Dept.2%, Tne U. S. PLavina Carp Co., Cincinnati, Grand Prix, Paris Exposition, | 1900. For Duplicate Whist use Paine’s, Kalamazoo, or U.S. Trays Tested by Time and found still the favorite. has made its success, and the success of Hunter Baltimore Rye verdict that it is the purest type of the purest whiskey made. FOR HOME USE FOR CLUB USE FOR ANY USE Where # perfect malt drink 1s re- quired there ts no equal to Watch For this Trade Mark. India Pale Ale, XXX _ Canada Malt Ale, Old Burton Ale, Porter, Brown Stout, Half and Half. On Draught or in Bottles. . Be llantine @ Sons, Newark, N. 134 Cedar St., cor. Washington, New York SHAKSPEARE SAID GOOD WINE IS A GOOD FAMILIAR a CREATURE” LET US MAKE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE LABEL OF THE BEST GOOD WINE RUINART CHAMPAGNE ROOSEVELT & SOAUYLER, Sle Ags th Ud Ses Cada, © LD e ik © W RY E BA WHI S K EY SOLE ee co comicbooks.com