Life, 1901-01-31 · page 9 of 20
Life — January 31, 1901 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 89 Analysis This page contains three distinct cartoons from *Life* magazine: 1. **"He Did a Mile in 3:20"** (left): Shows a disheveled man being ejected from a doorway, satirizing speed or haste. 2. **Main article/cartoon** (center-right): Discusses young Mr. Vanderbilt's upcoming marriage at Newport. The satire mocks wealthy wedding customs—specifically the absurdity of storing expensive gifts in bank vaults with burglar alarms rather than displaying them, and how superfluity becomes a practical burden ("just as want has"). 3. **Cat cartoon** (bottom-right): Two anthropomorphic cats with a caption about "Rocky" squandering money without earning it, contrasting with his father who earned his wealth without spending it. This is social commentary on inherited versus self-made wealth. The page satirizes Gilded Age excess and upper-class contradictions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ME DID A MILE IN 3:20, have your rheum than your company.’ deemed ill-advised and banished him.” “Why, then, did you go to war with England? mere joke? ”’ “Precisely! But not that joke. I have always held that we Boers were better athletes than the English, but could never get a match on; they said my statement was absurd. To prove it, I declared war and found I was only half right. After a few battles I concluded it was a draw. We are the better fighters, but the English are the better ranners, Had they admitted that at first there would have been no trouble.” “Do you design to make trouble still for England?" “Not at all! Let England have no‘fear. Chamberlain and I are the best of friends. I design to have my clothes made by the Prince's tailor ; Iam studying golf and learn- ing the ritual of cricket and baccarat. I will probably call on Victoria at Windsor and give a testimonial to Pears’s Soap. Assure Europe that I am traveling incog. and will work France for a gorgeous blow-out in Paris. I love the English and will pay all the war expenses myself.” The interview ended. When I telegraphed to London consols went up twenty points and the Boer generals in the Transvaal resigned and surrendered. Squeelman is still ahead. Rudyard Davie Squeelman. His persiflage I For a pASeee: Young Rocky spends his money in lumps without enjoying it. Jumpupre: Well, that’s all right. lumps without earning it. His father made it in PP oes Mrs. Chestnut Worm Ase, uy YOU LET Tr MIL SQUIRREL, LL Give You My woo! xm ALONE. Y OUNG MR. VANDERBILT has been getting married - at Newport, and some hundreds of our opulent friends in New York have been helping him. He seems to have needed help, for the hazards of incurring matrimony, always formidable, seem to be supremely grave for a person in his station. We have read, for example, that the wed- ding gifts sent to Mr. Vanderbilt's bride, have had to be stored as they came, in the vaults of a bank, whither the prospectively happy pair have proceeded from time to time and inspected them behind bars. Wedding presents are fun to get, but dear! dear! when you have to keep them in a bank vault, with the burglar alarm set, and a platoon of policemen sitting breathless at the station waiting for acall, it must seem a little like chasing the bloom off the peach. Superfluity evidently has pretty serious drawbacks, just as want has. As much silver as the sideboard will hold and as many jewels as one cares to risk in a library safe come pretty near being enough. IN ENDING wie Lives??? NR MADE AWAY WITH UIMSELP SEVEN TIMES, x AND THEN CHANGED MIs MIND.” comicbooks.com