Life — January 24, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

68 Still There. "TP WAS the month after Christmas, and all through our home, No matter wherever our footsteps would roam, In bed, or in clothes, or whatever you will— Those Christmas tree bristles all clung ‘round us still. Life’s Correspondent Abroad. (Special Correspondence to Live.) Dows1no STREET, Lonpon, Jan. 5, 1901. A. QUEEN’S MESSENGER reached me at Irkutz, de- spite the vigilance of the Siberian police, and handed me this dispatch, “Come at once. Empire shaking. Vic- toria in tears. Joe C.”” I left Siberia by balloon at once, and here I am. I find that my amazing genius for diplomacy and states- manship is my bane—it deprives me of rest and peace; and even the admiration of the world does not compensate me, nor the knowledge that fame eternal is mine. I found London in panic and despair, and Chamberlain's orchid wilted. I attended a reunion of the Salisbury family to-day ; it is officially known as a cabinet meeting. The Cabinet was discussing the charges against the Horse Guards and Hussars, made by Rosslyn, and it meant defeat for the Government unless I came to the rescue. London was recovering from its jag, and was ugly; and the in- famous Boers refused to admit the war was over. A crisis was seething when I entered the Cabinet, and Salisbury threw nis whiskers on my breast, and sobbed conyulsively, “Saved! sSaved!'’ I gave the Government the points for a proclamation on the controversy, and England is saved once more. Victoria gave me a tine Indian shawl at once. I looked the Cabinet over cynically—their fears irritated me—and said: ‘Gents! The Horse Guards did not run LIFE'S REPRODUCTIONS OF AMERICAN OLD MASTERS. away. As well fancy a telegraph messenger, a cop, or a (From the Catalog of the National Portrait Gallery for the year 2000 A. D.) ‘ Many close students of American bistory believe this portrait to rep- resent xome Actor attached to the court of Witilam the First, but recent excavations on the site of Lincoln, in the province of Nebraska, unearthed an auto blognaphy in which was a short history of this eloquent canvas, proving tt, beyond cavil, to bé none other than the Great Pretender. bearded lady running. They could not run ; they walked away firmly and with dignity. It is absurd to imagine heroes trained by the best nursery girls in London running. Their military instincts told them to avoid a frontal attack; hence their backs. The Horse Guards swore to outflank the Boers, and they marched towards the nearest available flanking spot, Cairo, Egypt. Had the Boers remained where they were when the attack began, they would have been captured six weeks later by the Guards. , Oe It was Napoleon’s Russian tactics over \ 2 again ; yet, while Napoleon lost his army, veh rea a the grim old Horse Guards are intact, and Cea ay a still heroically guarding their horses. conan-o* Rosslyn is an ass, gents, As for the Hus- " sars, we know they charged; they admit Ol, MR. BEAR, 18 IT GOOD MUNTING AROUND TERE! ‘ ‘i eg “WELL, 1 SHOULD SAY TES! “YOU'RE THE PORTH NICE LITTLE nor it charged passionately, swinging canteens, V'vr SEEN To-Day.” and chanting ‘God Save the Queen.’ comicbooks.com