Life — January 10, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Deacon Hacgett had Just burted his wife who had been a very shrewish and remarkably lean woman, After long haggiing with the village stone-catter he secured a very small slab ata bargain and ordered the inscription, “Sarah Hackett. Lord, she was thine.” But the slab was so narrow that the stone-cutter had to omit the last letter, with this result: SARA HACKETT LORD, SHE WAS TUIN — Saturday Evening Herald. Mr Luoyp Ossounse, the author of a recent volume of delightful Samoan stories, most of which are so little fiction as to be merely plcturesque adaptations of truth, Is better acquainted with the characteristics of Polynesian uatives and Americans of the Pacific coast than with those of New Eng- landers. Nevertheless, he knew tn Samoa at least one JsowD-easter * Who was a thorongh-golng New England rustic type. He was a Juck of all trades, one of them being that of driver. On one oceasion # hall was given at the German Con- sulate which Mr. Osbourne and his sister attended, being their best attire, prepared to discard the unconventionallty of island life for all the elegance and correctness of demeanor they could achieve. When the time cameto return, thelr carriage waa driven up to the door anc, Mixs Osbourne promptly took her seat ; bat her brother, occupted in bidding lively adieus to. group of pretty giris on the veranda, lingered somewhat unduly. The horses were reatlve and the free and-eqnal, not to say free-and easy, citizen on the box soon became Impatient. He did not lose his amlability, bat he considerec that it was high time the inconsiderate young man was burried up, and ne proceeded to harry him. Oblivious of the grins of gorgeous officers and the tittera of gauzy damsets, be signalled violently with his whip ; then, failing to recelve attention, be sung out in @ tone of tndul- gently dertsive banter : Wal, Lloyd, I guess ye might's well be startin’ along ! It's gettin’ late, an’ them gals Il be tired of ye by this time, sure!” Mr. Osbonrne's exit was scarcely as dignified as he would have liked to have it, but he obeyed the summons, — Youth's Companion. see that Mra, Addledegga bas colored help now.” SIOcx City, Iowa, presents a strange Tale of the wert ings of Fate. It seems at a Sale of Poultry that happened short while ago, a Man, Ole Larson, one Night took \« tow twenty pound Turkey for Thanksgiving’s Feast, aud tte} tried to stuff him so he'd be increased by Thanksgiving Dy full Fifteen Pounds more, so the whole Larson tribe—as th ne'er had vetore—might get enough Turkey and Cran! sauce to last them a year and yet feel no loss. One night tt was colder than Blazes or—well,—any o1 Hot Piace of which you have heard.tell ; and Old Mrs. Lane plled up the New Stove with Anthracite Coal and took ean] to remove all Chances for Draught, by closing the Doors Windows and Cutnks, Then after the Snoresof the Sleepers within prociatay them to Bed, the Turkey, then up on the Roof ov climbed up on the chimney and sat there, the glow sy warmth of the Fire so cheery below, enticing him there remain through the night. And sitting Iu Comfort, be clowd up quite tight the only Escape there was for the Gas from tts Anthracite Coal, Alack, and Alas! Next Morning the Neighbors who broke In the Hovs found no Creature stirring. “not even a Mouse.” And soon us they entered and looked tn each Bed they found Poor Occupants ail were quite Dead with Aspbyxiation. Te Coroner sat and found they were killed by a Turkey too Piz “Yea, She got so tired of having people ask her if her hired giris were related to the family."” —Clereland Plain Dealer. For sale by all Newadeaters in Great Britain. ‘The Inter- national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., EBgiand, Agents. driven over from Vailima, It was.a formal affair {a honor of the officers of a visiting German war-ship, and they went In Moral: There's many a Slip, as you know, ‘twixt eat a Cake and Just kneading the Dough. — Chaparral. ECROPFAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l’Opera, Maris, Established 1823. The Only One WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! Only one can be best, and the only one is Hunter Baltimore Rye because it is uniformly pure, old and mellow. THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. | WM, LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. FREE! A SIGNED GIBSON DRAWING! A HEAD of Gisson’s Most Bewitching Girl may be yours for nothing. THE Each proof signed personally by C. D. Gibson, matted and ready for framing, 14 inches by 11 inches in size, on Japan paper. PLATE WILL We show herewith a sketch of the beautiful heroine of Mr. Gibson’s new series of cartoons, ‘*A Wipow anD HER FRrienps,” Mr. Gibson's latest and most important work, which is now appearing in Lire. The portrait is much larger and shows her full face. BE DESTROYED You can secure the signed portrait only by sending $5.00 for a new subscription to Lire for one year, The drawing will not be sold or reprinted. It is for the exc’usive ownership of our subscribers. At the expiration of this offer the plate will be destroyed. New subscribers will receive for five dollarsa year’s subscription to Lire and the signed por- trait which you can get in no other way, also all the copies of Lire in which cartoons of “The Widow" series hace already appeared. FEBRUARY FIRST. THIS OFFER EXPIRES ON THAT DATE. This offer Is net. THIS 18 NOT THE PICTURE YOU WILL RECEIVE. THIS MERELY GIVES AN IDEA OP THE WIDOW. Lire PuBLisHIno Co., 19 West 8ist St., N. Y. comicbooks.com