Life — December 27, 1900 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE + ‘THE BOARD having been called to order by the Chairman, there was a slight bustle in the rear, and a reporter of the World came forward, and said : “I wish to present as a candidate for Lire’s Hall of Fame the name of Chaun- cey M. Depew." (Prolonged shouts and “Mr, Depew, as you know, has long been a contributor for the World, He is knownin Park Row as the newspaper man's friend. In presenting his claims, I do so at the earnest request of Mr. Depew himself, who is anxious to get in on the ground floor.” At this, there rose to his feet a solemn-looking man in the rear of the audience. “Mr. Chairman,” he said, “I wish to protest. Chauncey Depew, to be blunt, makes me tired. I have heard him talk, and I’ve watched him pose for years, and I have no hesitation in saying that he is the most overestimated bag of wind in this country. I——" The Chairman rapped with his gavel. “You are out of order, sir,” he exclaimed. ‘‘ You may be right, but some one has got to start this Hall of Fame, and Chauncey is just the man. He will advertise it all over the country, and, besides, we'll all get passes.”* His words were greeted with a storm of applause, and amid a scene of great enthusiasm Chauncey M. Depew was unanimously chosen asa worthy member of Lire’s Hall of Fame. Bits of Talk. Dk PARKHURST wants to start an ideal newspaper. It is suspected that the ideal newspaper, like the ideal Indian, is a dead one. Some newspapers are ve ch better than others, but that is the best that it has ever been possible to say of them for long at atime. tural and insurmount- able incompatibility between an ideal paper and subscribers. ny considerable number of paying When the newspaper gets too good the subscribers fall off. when the newspaper Convers 4 BN ts bad enough it som AS times attracts so mi bers and gets 80 rich that it to be quite good for a considerable period « Heeanise a newspaper once thoroughly established is curiously hard to kill, it has long been thought to be time. easier to reform a wicked and prosperous paper than to start a brand- new good one. Why doesn’t Dr. Parkhurst buy the Journal? ° ° ° T seems as if we had had a prodigi ~ late. us number of big steals of Is it because folks are getting dishonest, or on times have been good and there is more than usual to tak ° ° ° because FE, observes with regret that Mr. T. B. Reed, in a recent dinner speech before the Scottish Society of New York, told tsmen that their forbears “wore filly bags which covered ind of pants.” Mr. Reed, who lately came to New York from Maine, is more or less well known as a contributor to a Philadelphia weekly paper, and ought to have learned better already than to use that sort of language. O repent, ° . . “AR WILDE is miserably dead, and the Jersey Lily has separated from her latest husband. It is not enough to One should be good betimes and get the profits of it. Alas, though, even the best of us are getting old; all but the Sarah, who is passing young at fifty-five. The Doctor; 11's & Boy. Li “gnat’s OngaT. sUst WHat I've neex —" comicbooks.com