Life — December 1, 1900 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOR DIVERS REASONS. I sailed from England this summer on the Mid-Ocean Line. I shall call the steamer the Bathtabbe, The fare to New York was sixty dollars for an inside berth in an inside room aud that was the kind of room that I selected. ‘The passenge' le and interesting, and I formed many agreeable “ ocean f uiships.’* Butall seemed lacking in one quality. For instance. I approached a sporty-lookin, red necktie and a diamonil in his shirt-bosom, ing over the rail, gazing at the last bit of gre e¢e for eleven days. I began,s conversation with that confidence that he woald reply ‘pleasantly which strangers on a steamer always have— nor is that confidence ever abused, “Easy motion, isn’tit? You come over on this line? “No. I came over on the Fdrst Bismarck, but I had a toach of the gout in Paris and the doctor recommended a siov man witha He was lean- n that we should | ocean voyage, and #0 I chose this line, It's the slowest ever."" 1 I was too polite to wink at him and he immediately tarned the conversation into other channels, Later in the day I met a lady from Boston, It is perhaps unnecessary to ay that I was introduced to this lady ; also to every Bostonian on board. “Easy motion, isn’t it?” said { as I drew my chair into the shadow of one of the boats, * Yea,” said the Boston lady ; “the motion is easy, as you ut [ prefer a faster boat myself. We were coming bome on the St. Louis, bat Mr. Adams was cabled to come home at once and this was the only line that we could #ecure passage on at euch short notice."* You were very lucky," said I, mentally figuring that if they had taken the St. Louis they would have reached home twodays sooner than the Bathtabbe would dock it. 1878 Gold Medal “Well, Idon't know as we can call it Ine #0 Inferior—at least to Back Bay cooking.” T think it was on the eame day that I fell into conversation with a well-put-up young man of New York. I fell into it in my usual way by saying ice easy motion, isn't it? We were standing in tho bow watching a school of porpoises out for their noon recess. “You may call it easy but I call it blamed hard. Ten days more of it. I don't see why I was foolish enough to give up my passage on the Oceanic, but a chap in London told me that if I wanted an absolutely novel experience I'd better take one of these tabs."* “Yea,” said I, ‘and they have the advantage of being cheap. Table not #0 bad, either.” Well, the cheapness didn't appeal to me. In fact, I tried to get a whole stateroom for two hundred and forty dol- lars so that I'd bave plenty ‘of room to myself, don’t you know, bat the confounded boat was #0 crowded that I could oaly get an Inside berth, lower one at that, If I hada't fool- ishly cabled my retarn home to the governor I'd have waited and taken a Cunarder,” T met a Southern woman that eame day in the ladies’ saloon, We were both writing letters and neither one of us could think of a thing to eay, #0 I looked up and emiled and uttered my formala : “Easy motion, isn't it?” * Ob, yes; [wish it would roll a little, It is 80 monoto” noas, They say the sister steamer, the Washtubbe, is much. mote of a roller."* “ Fine line, though, isn'titt” “Do you think eof I've alwaya been accustomed to take the White Star Line, but my hasband’s brother's cousin, whom we met at Bingen, told us if we wanted to be perfectly comfortable we'd better take a Mid-Ocean Line ; the table ts “Cheaper, too," said I, wickedly, She colored and went on: “1 really don't know aloat that part of it, My husband always attends to the buyinz of tickets," Thad heard that there was a stowaway, who had been discovered the third day out, I went tohim. He was pecling potatoes in a dismal room off the kitchen, Hello, my boy,” said £; “that's right, I eee you're helpful. Tused to do that for my mother when I was a boy. Easy motion, isn'tit? Did you expect to come by this line?" He was flattered at not being taken for one of the crew. * No, I wanted to take the Bremen, bat she was burned at Hoboken, 60 I came on this. It's kinder fun to peel potatoes, ‘The skins slip off so easy.’ With a sad heart [left this insincere young man peeling potatoes and went up on the upper deck. ‘There I saw a dig. nifled anda handsome old gentleman, the best dressed man oa board, reading Aristophanes in the original, He had spokes to no one and people thonght him offish. I wondered what tale he would give me, and I stopped alongside of him, and when he looked up I said ; “Easy motion, isn’t it2” “ Yea, luckily for me it fs, I'ma poorsailor, But easy or not easy [had to come by this line, as I practically went broke in London, and jast had enough to buy a passage by this cheap line. I'll have to touch the friends who come to meet me for the money to tip the stewards. I don't rave over the tabie, and I know lots of ways in which the service could be improved, but I'm practically broke and that's why I'n here, #0 [ don't complain.” Here he cast a comprebensive glance at such of the passengers as were in eight. * Yes, I'm broke, and I fancy we're all in the eame boat. Shake,"* said I, —Charles Hattell Loomis in Saturday Evening Post. satisfied with your light at night ? If not, TRY using a Holophane 1889 Gold Medal 1900 A Grand Prix } Highest Form of Award. Outranking All Medals. 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